Diary of an Addict
Day whatever plus God only knows what...
Feeling very despondent today, despite my best efforts to the contrary. Its official: Stress is now my main (read only) craving trigger now.
Unfortunately things have been very stressful at the office and in my personal life this past week.
Given the circumstances I believe I'd even be forgiven for caving in to stress and smoking again. The only thing that keeps me vigilant is the knowledge that I'd only be hurting myself, and that Usagi would be terribly disappointed in me.
I think the thing that hurts the most is my parents' blatant disregard for me. If I were just a little more paranoid I'd even believe they were deliberately putting me in situations where I'd be tempted to smoke again, just so they could smoke in the office.
For fucks sake. This is just wrong.
I just can't get past the notion that they should have been a bit more supportive. Given their behaviour over the past month their occasional enquiry about my quitting success seems shallow and disinterested. Like they're going through the motions.
You know. Like when you ask someone how they are, and then get frustrated and bored when they tell you.
Feeling very despondent today, despite my best efforts to the contrary. Its official: Stress is now my main (read only) craving trigger now.
Unfortunately things have been very stressful at the office and in my personal life this past week.
Given the circumstances I believe I'd even be forgiven for caving in to stress and smoking again. The only thing that keeps me vigilant is the knowledge that I'd only be hurting myself, and that Usagi would be terribly disappointed in me.
I think the thing that hurts the most is my parents' blatant disregard for me. If I were just a little more paranoid I'd even believe they were deliberately putting me in situations where I'd be tempted to smoke again, just so they could smoke in the office.
For fucks sake. This is just wrong.
I just can't get past the notion that they should have been a bit more supportive. Given their behaviour over the past month their occasional enquiry about my quitting success seems shallow and disinterested. Like they're going through the motions.
You know. Like when you ask someone how they are, and then get frustrated and bored when they tell you.