Haven't Met You Yet, 2/3, RPS, J2 AU, [PG]
Part 2
Jared reread Bid Time Return and watched the movie Somewhere in Time that was based on it. The concept was low tech and simple. You dress for the time you want to be in. You carry only things from that time. And you mentally convince yourself you are, in fact, there. Or rather then. Or something.
And then Jensen would look at him.
It was amazing how much he wanted that.
He walked out into the garden holding the Matheson book. “Did you read this one, too, Jen?”
Jensen sat in the same spot reading again. Only this time he wasn’t holding a book, but a newspaper. Jared’s heart pounded. That meant he could get the exact date.
He scurried over and read over Jensen’s shoulder. Holy smokes, The Hyde Park Herald. August 14, 1957.
It felt momentous.
It was impossible to read the tiny print of the regular articles because, like Jensen, the paper was translucent and indistinct. Like looking through a soft gauze. The headlines could be discerned, though. Jensen turned the page suddenly and the newspaper passed through Jared’s nose. He wanted so much to have felt it but if he hadn’t seen Jensen’s hand move he wouldn’t have realized it had happened.
The words were easier to make out on this page as they were ads with bolder black print.
“You looking for new tires, Jen?” he asked. “Hey, check it out … $16.40 per tire. Hah. Cost you four times that today.” Jensen turned the page and grocery ads came up. Fifty-nine cents for a turkey? Four cents a pound for watermelon? Guess those were the days.”
He stood up and held his lower back. Been crouching too long. A sudden knock made him jump. His eyes flew to Jensen but Jensen was gone. Jared approached the back gate.
The man standing there startled him.
“Justin. What? Why are you--?”
They hadn’t seen each other in months. Not since Jared had turned down the marriage proposal. Justin’s parting shot of ‘You don’t know what love means’ lingered long past the slammed door.
“I tried the front bell but nobody answered.”
Jared unlocked the gate and let his ex-boyfriend inside. Justin looked around. “Wow. This is something. Just like they said.”
Suspicion rose. “They?”
Justin’s guilty look said it all. “Misha called-“
Dammit. Busybody. “What he tell you?”
“That you’re holed up here.” Justin looked around again, his chest expanding as he inhaled the sweet floral scents. “Although … yeah. Why leave? It’s gorgeous here.”
That softened Jared. It’s not like he and Justin didn’t have similar tastes. Hell, they got along like hamburgers and buns. Jared just … fuck, he still didn’t know why it wasn’t enough. Didn’t know what enough was.
“C’mon in. I’ll give you a tour.”
Justin hesitated. “How’ve you been, Jay?”
Jared straightened up, pulled his shoulders square. “Fine. Really. Been writing a lot. And, um, working out here on my garden.”
A smile tilted Justin’s lips but his eyes looked sad and that’s when Jared realized that Justin hadn’t wanted to hear that. He’d probably thought Jared’s reclusiveness had to do with their breakup. That he missed Justin. Truth was he was missing something. His eyes automatically roamed the garden but Jensen wasn’t here.
He showed his ex into his new home. They walked the long length of the downstairs and stopped in the front parlor. Outside of the office and kitchen this was Jared’s favorite room. It was cozy and quaint. He purposely had no television in here. There was one in the third upstairs bedroom that he’d turned into a media room-slash-guestroom. A second TV was in the kitchen. He liked to watch TV while eating dinner, so that worked.
He’d kept this room as a true old-fashioned parlor where one would entertain guests and, well, talk. Of course, he hardly had guests. Maybe that should change. Justin sat on Jared’s sofa. For a moment it made his heart long. Same sofa they’d had in their apartment. When they split their belongings Jared kept the sofa and arm chair and Justin took the electronics. Not that he had space for a 50 inch flat panel anymore within his small rooms.
“What’s wrong?” Justin asked suddenly.
Jared flushed at Justin’s sudden perception. Although after two years Justin certainly knew Jared. He couldn’t lie. “Just seeing you sitting there … “
Justin’s eyes locked with his. “Yeah.” He swallowed. “I’ve missed you, Jay.”
“I’ve missed you, too. I know I said this before but … I’m sorry.”
It was impossible not to miss Justin. He was funny and sweet. They shared two years of their lives and lived together for half that time. Not to mention he was gorgeous. Tousled blond hair and chiseled cheekbones. Warm brown eyes that were almost … almost enough.
“I really thought we could … “ Justin trailed off, shifted his eyes toward the front window. “Never mind. Didn’t come here to rehash.” But then his eyes met Jared’s again. “Can’t make someone love you.”
“It’s not that I didn’t-“
“Jared, please. I know you did. And I do, too. Always will. Just wanted to know you were okay. And you are. Same, really. Haven’t met him yet, have you?”
For an insane moment Jared thought Justin was talking about Jensen. That he knew what was going on. “Who?”
“The guy you gave me up for?”
Sitting down himself Jared decided maybe it was time to man up. Do what Keith could never do. Tell the truth. “No.”
He watched Justin suck in air and his head nod minutely. Jared hadn’t admitted that before. Justin accused him of wanting someone else. Someone perfect who didn’t exist. And Jared denied it and said that wasn’t it. That he just wasn’t ready for marriage. It wasn’t a pretty fight.
For the first time a flicker of that anger returned to Justin’s hard gaze. “Could end up alone.”
“Then I’ll be alone.”
Justin pushed on his thighs and stood up. “I guess … I’m gonna go.” Jared hated seeing the pain back in his ex-boyfriend’s eyes. “Tell Misha not to call me, okay?”
“I will. I’m sorry he did. I am fine. And you will be, too.”
He walked Justin the few steps to his front door. Another thing he loved about the house. The deep dark mahogany front door with the stained glass inset.
“How do you know that? That I’ll be fine?” Justin’s voice was soft and small and honest.
Jared shook slightly. Justin wasn’t asking for pity. “Because I’ll always care about you. And you deserve someone who loves you back with all of himself.”
He drew Justin into a hug but kept it short. Neither was the type to cling. He whispered into Justin’s ear. “I’m not the only one that hasn’t met him yet.”
That drew a gentle chuckle out of Justin. “If anyone knew that the scariest horror writer this side of Koontz was such a sap they’d laugh till their guts split out of their bodies. Then they’d look like one of your victims.”
* * *
Keith was sixteen when he’d first laid eyes on Tony. Lean and tall with spiky brown hair and huge eyes.
Jared twisted his lips. “Jen, I’m thinking of adding freckles.” He shook his head. “That’s crazy, right?”
“I didn’t think you were coming till tomorrow.”
The voice, muffled, like it was coming through a blanket, shocked the hell out of Jared. “Jensen?”
Only Jensen wasn’t talking to Jared. He was staring toward Jared’s open kitchen doorway. Nobody was there. Well, nobody was there now. Clearly in Jensen’s timeframe he’d been surprised by someone coming out that door. Jared gaped. He’d heard a snippet of Jensen’s voice before. Self-mutterings when tending the plants. Snatches of humming, mostly Elvis and Buddy Holly songs. This was different. Although not much clearer than Jensen’s physical form, Jared was hearing the other man’s conversation.
“I know, right?” Jensen turned around and his gaze passed by Jared, lingering an odd moment. He turned back to the invisible guest. “Yes. It takes some work but it’s worth it.” There was another long pause as Jensen listened. “The same. I’m so glad you could make it out. C’mon in the house and I’ll get you settled.”
Jared followed Jensen back inside but as always Jensen vanished at the threshold. Standing alone, staring into the kitchen Jared tried to imagine what it had looked like in Jensen’s time. Was is it filled with mustard yellow appliances and speckled Formica countertops? Gail had made a huge point about the kitchen’s recent renovation. All new black granite and stainless steel appliances. Jared liked it at the time and it had been a factor in selecting this house.
Truthfully, he was still glad for the work that the family had done. But he wondered if Jensen would appear to him indoors if it did look like it used to when Jensen had been living here. If he kept to Matheson’s theory, then the reason Jared was connecting to Jensen in the garden is because it was essentially unchanged.
He wondered about Jensen’s unexpected guest. Who was it? Man, woman? Family? Old friend? Jared didn’t think it had been a lover. Jensen hadn’t acted like that was the case. He wondered again why he didn’t just research the family. Google or the library. Surely he’d at least be able to come up with records that showed whether or not Jensen ever married. No wait, of course he had. His children had sold the house. Except they didn’t have to be Jensen’s children. They could have been his nieces and nephews.
His cell vibrated in his pocket distracting him away from Jensen’s potential family. It was a text from Brian.
Got some books. Want me to bring them over?
He typed back quickly.
Sure. Whenever.
C u soon.
Brian, best friend extraordinaire, was bringing over what he’d found on self-hypnosis. Jared was determined this was the best way to get answers. He was going to visit Jensen where when he lived.
* * *
The hardest part of writing any book was when his character got hurt. Jared didn’t like it when he caused pain. And this one was gonna get real bloody before it was over. The villain was one of Jared’s most vicious creations. Pure unadulterated evil. Closest to the supernatural he’d gotten as an author. Because Jared couldn’t let himself believe that kind of depravity could exist within humanity.
“It’s not like Keith doesn’t suspect it’s a trap. I think that’s what going to make the readers cringe. They know it. And he knows it. But he has to know.”
Jensen looked up again, looking around. This was happening more lately. Jared didn’t know if Jensen was hearing him or not. He liked to think so. Clearly he was hearing something. And then he cocked his head in this adorable way and his brows scrunched. A second later he walked toward the open doorway and a tall glass with a light liquid appeared in his hand.
“Thanks. Really needed that.” Jensen swallowed down the liquid and Jared could only stare. It always jarred those few times he heard Jensen’s muffled voice. He’d give anything to hear it clear and loud. And directed at Jared.
“No, I was just reading.” Jensen continued his conversation with the invisible stranger. “Shopping, I think.” There was a laugh. Soft, like the echo of the sound rather than the real thing. “Yep, we’re going over at seven.” Another pause. Jensen sat on the settee and looked up. He went to sip his drink before realizing the glass was empty. His lips turned up in a smile.
“Hey, did you ever … “ Jensen’s voice trailed off. “Nah. You know what, never mind. It’s crazy.”
Jared imagined the other person doing what he was mentally doing himself, urging Jensen to continue. “It’s just lately. I don’t know, I feel like … you’re going to think I’m insane.” There was another chuckle. Jared suddenly got the impression this was a family member, maybe a sibling.
After placing the glass down carefully on the ground Jensen looked up again at his companion. “Okay.” He took a deep breath as if bracing himself. “Sometimes I get the feeling I’m being watched.”
Jared’s heart tangoed in his chest. Jensen was sensing him! It appeared that the other person found the confession funny because Jensen’s face broke into a grin. “Screw you. I knew I shouldn’t have said anything. “No, I don’t think it’s aliens. You’ve been going to too many stupid movies.” Jensen stood and picked the glass back up again. “I’m gonna go get some more. Parched. Too hot to stay out here any more. Can you hang a while?”
As Jensen trailed after his visitor on the steps Jared cried out, “Jensen!” as loud as he could.
But the other man didn’t halt or slow down. And as soon as he crossed into the house, he vanished.
Leaving Jared alone.
* * *
“Hi Jay. Did it work?”
Jared invited Brian inside, ignoring his friend’s question for the time being.
“Want a beer?” Jared asked instead.
“Sure.”
They settled on the sofa overlooking the front bay window. Jared had some custom cabinetry done to build a hinged window seat with storage inside. He’d just received the cushion he’d ordered to fit and it looked great. But all these changes, Jared realized sadly, were changing the character of the room enough that Jensen couldn’t appear. If the theory was right.
Finally it was time to address Brian’s initial query. “I tried it a few times. I think … I mean, I definitely got into that relaxed state. But from that to convincing myself I’m in the past. It’s a leap.” Jared brushed his hair back in frustration. He didn’t know if he could do it.
Brian nodded. His friend looked like he was gearing himself up to say something. “So I, um, called Genevieve.”
Jared smiled. “Yeah?”
“She’s going to come hear me play.”
“That’s great. I had a feeling about you two.”
“It’s nothing yet.”
“Yes, it is. Because she didn’t ask me to go with. That means she’s hoping to get together with you alone after the performance.”
“You think?”
“I know. The doctor went bust. I don’t think they made it past a second date.”
“Misha told me.”
Jared bit back a laugh. His editor was a first-class yenta. But Misha also loved Gen like a sister and it was nice to see that Misha also thought she and Brian could work.
“So did you get the clothes yet?” Brian took the conversation back to the time travel.
“Yeah. Not easy finding used clothes in my size. But I got a pair of Levis and a plaid button down. I can’t swear they were made before 1957 but the girl selling them said they were authentic.”
Brian looked pensive before he spoke again. “Jay, what if … I mean, say it works. Will you vanish? I … will we just forget you?”
“I don’t know. I figured I’d just avoid anyone I know or will know. Stay away from my family.” He paused. “This is nuts, eh?”
“It’s a little nuts. Yeah.”
Eyeing his best friend Jared suddenly understood that Brian was just going along because he believed Jared needed it. It was the way Brian was. Friendship meant not questioning. It meant accepting. He loved his friend for that. But that didn’t mean Brian thought there was a snowball’s chance in hell that Jared was going to convince himself into the past. Except …
“I have to try, Bri. I have to … “ Meet him.
“You will,” Brian said although Jared never finished his sentence.
* * *
The day Jared decided to time travel was overcast and windy. Yet Jensen was puttering away in the garden and wearing a newsboy cap so Jared decided the weather must be nice where he was going.
He had convinced himself that it would work. Maybe he was falling into the mindset of the character in Matheson’s book and film. He thought back to his own character. To Keith. For a crazy second he felt guilty leaving him trapped in the hands of a madman. The book couldn’t come with Jared. Nothing created after 1957 could be on his person.
Of course, he could try to recreate his novel if this worked. Hey, he could predate Stephen King. Set modern horror ahead of itself. Except. He needed to stay low. His mission was to be invisible. Well, to everyone except Jensen. And that’s what this was all about. He had to meet the fuzzy figure that had captivated Jared’s heart. Had to know who the other man was. Why he kept appearing to Jared in the garden. Had to know what it all meant.
Like the character in Somewhere in Time, Jared had made himself a looped recording to help him relax. The words repeated over and over that it was 1957. August 14, 1957. His voice was soft and calm in the recording. It played aloud from a speaker set up in his kitchen that could be heard outside.
He stood in his garden. Jensen wasn’t around. He’d removed the patio table and chairs he’d added. Nothing but the plants and original containers and furniture remained. Jared wore the period faded jeans and soft shirt. He wondered how many washes it had gone through over fifty odd years.
Slouching on the settee he let his shoulders relax. His voice wafted from inside, repeating the date in a cycle. He put his hands on his lap, palms up and practiced the deep breathing that put him in a hypnotic state.
Time passed slowly when he did this. Everything from his heartbeat to his brainwaves came to a crawl.
It’s Wednesday, August 14, 1957. It’s 1957. Jensen is here. Working in the yard. Reading the Herald. It’s August 14, 1957. A Wednesday. The sun is bright and Jensen is here. 1957. Eisenhower is president. It’s 1957. Jensen is looking at ads for tires. Jensen is here.
Jared felt the sun through his languidness. Carefully he opened his eyes. The garden looked the same. He didn’t see Jensen. Sun motes danced in his vision in his semi-dream state. He squiggled his bare toes into the patch of grass beneath his feet. C’mon, Jen, come out to read your paper.
A shadow crossed his vision drawing his eyes up.
And the illusion shattered as the tail end of the modern jet plane winked out of sight.
He came out of the hypnotic state with a sharp gasp. Tears burned as the thoughts fool and idiot and time travel isn’t possible were warring for attention.
Jensen didn’t exist. Jared needed to accept this and start living his life again.
Just then, as if to punctuate his thoughts, a car rumbled down the street blaring music. Modern rap. Pulsing and echoing, like the beating of his heart within his lonely chest.
* * *
It had been twenty years, yet the pungent scent of the murky woods made those years vanish. Once more Keith approached the abandoned hunting cabin on shaky legs, just as he had then. The ground was spongy from the recent rain, and fat, black clouds promised more. Fitting. It had been raining then, too, pouring over him so that he didn’t know where the sky ended and his misery began. Sixteen and terrified of his stepdad, the sheriff, a man who could do anything to him even if Keith had done nothing wrong. Now? If the sheriff even suspected about Tony, Keith would be beaten to within an inch of his life, he was sure.
The rain had washed the blood into the soil, absorbed like a dentist’s saliva ejector. A split second of petrified anger and the earth had swallowed up the only thing, the only person he gave a damn about.
They’d kissed like their next breath could only come from each other, and then Tony had begged, “Leave with me.”
Keith can still feel the heat of that moment, as the illicit thrill of that first kiss transformed into anger. Anger at having to live in fear, at watching his mother’s denial, at the ease of those words from someone who didn’t know. Who didn’t have to live with him every day. His reactionary shove surprised Tony who stumbled back, lost his balance. Keith laughed at the graceless motions Tony made as he hit the ground. Keith’s anger receded like the clouds blowing away overhead. A minute later he reached his hand down to help Tony up.
Only Tony didn’t move. He lay stone still, eyes shut and chest not moving as crimson blood oozed in lazy swirls beneath his skull.
Keith had killed the only person who’d wanted to save him.
And Keith had run, because if he’d still been around when the sheriff found the body, Keith’s life wouldn’t be worth squat.
Except all these years later, Anton knew things he couldn’t possibly know. Keith struggled between impossible hope and gruesome memory. Could Tony really be alive?
Misha ran his hands through his hair and turned to Jared, putting the page down slowly. He met Jared’s eyes. “It’s not Tony in the cabin.”
Jared let out a small smile. Since when had he ever written something expected?
Misha continued. “I thought the sheriff was dead.”
“He’s mostly dead.” Jared chuckled at his own joke. Princess Bride references never grew old.
Only Misha didn’t laugh back. “I know you go dark. And readers, god bless them, eat it up. But … “ Jared watched Misha try to form his thoughts into a sentence. “Man, is this a depressing story.”
“You want happily ever after, go read a fairy tale.”
Misha stepped back, arms up defensively. “Whoa. Didn’t mean to insult. Just pointing it out. It’s just … this is more than dark, it’s bleak.”
“I’ve never had any happy endings. It’s the way life goes.”
It was true. Jared’s characters might survive their hideous ordeals but what would realistically come next is years of therapy at best. Suddenly he saw Justin in his mind as he looked the day he proposed and Jared turned him down. Bitterness coloring his lover’s eyes nearly black.
You don’t know how to love.
Jared sighed as Misha continued to gaze at him. “I don’t know how else to end it,” he responded finally.
You can’t know what you are missing.
* * *
“So it didn’t work the first time. Try again, Jay.”
Jared knew Brian meant well. But hopeless was hopeless. He’d tried three times total. And each time left him cold and shivering and aching for something he couldn’t identify. Couldn’t really name. Just knew it was a hole he couldn’t fill.
“No, Bri, it’s ridiculous. There’s no such thing as time travel. And even if there were, it’s not going to happen by hypnosis. You can’t just believe yourself into something.”
Brian tucked his leg under himself on the iron seat. Jared had made some sun tea with mint, and the pitcher sat sweating on the side table.
“So … “ Brian began gently. “What now?”
Jared met his warm blue stare. “Now? Now I stop feeling sorry for myself. Acknowledge that there’s no such thing as the relationship I want and get back to finishing my book.”
Brian fidgeted. His friend took a long sip of the iced tea before carefully putting his glass down. “You could … re-think about Justin … “
Surprise colored Jared pink. “No. Never. God, didn’t I hurt him enough?”
“That’s not what I-“
“Look. It’s not that bad. I have my writing. I have my friends. I have this house.” I have Jensen in this garden.
But Brian heard what Jared didn’t say out loud. “But he’s not … I mean, you can’t really interact with him, you know?”
“Maybe not. But he’s still here. And it feels like I’m not alone, you know?”
Brian nodded but his look remained cautious. “If you try again, let me know, okay? I don’t want you to just vanish one day.”
The seriousness of Brian’s expression couldn’t help but bring a smile to Jared’s face. The one thing he had in this time were his friends and that was no small thing.
* * *
Writing the climactic scene was intense for Jared. Keith was facing off with someone he thought long dead. And he wasn’t going to survive. Jared always wrote his scariest scenes when it was night, the darkness amplifying the intensity of his character’s situation. But after a long night of writing he felt too wound to nap. Instead he peered out into the dawn light. Might as well chill in the garden.
He took his usual seat, placing his steaming coffee mug beside him. The patio table was back so he could breakfast in the sun. No Jensen, but that was typical. The man usually came out when the sun was higher overhead. Jared wondered if Jensen didn’t need the sunbeams to exist since he seemed to float among them. All that was missing was a newspaper. But he’d brought out his laptop and skimmed news that way. It was quiet and traffic was just starting to pick up on the parallel busy street. He heard his next door neighbor’s alarm clock going off through an open bedroom window. A dog barked in the distance.
A few more sips of the soothing warmth, the caffeine not waking him but having the reverse effect. He shut the laptop and rested his hands in his lap, taking slow, deep breaths. One positive thing about the self-hypnosis that Jared had taught himself was that he could pretty much get into that meditative state at will now, and when his nerves felt frayed it was a good way to unwind. Jared eased his mind into that blurred state of total relaxation, dwelling in that moment before sleep overtook, where the world was gauzy and snuffled. Slightly trippy, his body sinking into itself like ice cream melting slowly in the sun.
A final deep suck of air and he opened his eyes slowly, letting his gaze swallow the explosion of colors from the blooms. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a familiar shadow.
“Hi. Um … I hope you don’t mind if I--”
Jared jumped. The coffee went flying as his hip knocked the table, spilling all over his laptop and soaking the front of his pants and holy shit … Jensen was looking right at him!
Mind clicking into gear he pulled the laptop out of the puddle even though he knew it was too late. The damage was done.
“Oh god … Oh, I am so sorry.”
Jared looked up sharply. Who was Jensen talking to? The sun was bright hot white and haloed around the other man until he glowed. Did it work? Was Jared back in time. But the laptop? Maybe it didn’t matter?
“When? How?” Jared knew he was babbling.
“I didn’t mean to frighten you,” Jensen said quickly. “I just … this garden … “
Jared staggered because Jensen continued to look right at him as he spoke. “Can you … can you hear me?”
“Yeah?” Jensen’s voice tinged with hesitation. “Look. I’m really sorry about your … Maybe it could be fixed … although … it looks bad.”
“Jensen,” Jared stopped, unsure what to say next. He took a deep breath. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”
“You know my name?”
“Yes. Gail. The realtor who sold me the house. She told me.”
Jensen’s brows scrunched but then he nodded as if this made sense. He kept staring at Jared questioningly. After a moment Jared realized what the other man hadn’t asked.
“Oh. Right. You don’t know who I … My name’s Jared.”
“So you’re not angry that I came into the garden?”
“Angry? No, not at all. It’s your … well, I guess it’s mine now … but I feel … like it’ll always be yours, you know?”
Jensen didn’t reply, his face tilted slightly. “That’s … very nice of you.” He took a look around. “Wow. It’s the same.”
Jared laughed. “Well, it’s being well cared for.”
A smile tilted Jensen’s lips, which seemed even fuller than before. In fact … Jared took a step closer to his ghost. He blinked and then rubbed his eyes. Because Jensen was … solid. The transparency … the swirls of light that would pass through him, they weren’t there. Suddenly he could make out the other man’s face in startling detail. Huge green eyes that no longer looked too close together. And a straight nose that seemed … smaller. And a cleft on his chin when Jared hadn’t been able to detect one before.
The distant booming of a deep bass sounded in the distance from a passing car. The truth hit Jared like a hammer. It wasn’t that Jared had gone back in time. Jensen had travelled forward to him. Jared approached closer. He put a hand out slowly and extended a finger. Jensen followed his movements with cautious intensity. A quick poke into solid flesh and Jared leapt back, heart pounding.
“Oh. My. God.” Jared couldn’t catch his breath.
“Dude, you okay? Maybe you should sit. The sun’s real strong. I think maybe you need some water or something.”
A strong grip held his arm and led him to the settee. “Here … Just put your head between your legs … I’ll be right back.”
Jensen dashed into his kitchen. Jared wondered what he’d think of all the changes. He felt laughter bubble up. He was giggling when a tall glass of water was waved before his face.
“Here. Drink this. It’ll help. I remember when I spent too much time working out here, sometimes the sun would get to my head, too. Nan would insist I wear a cap but I didn’t always listen.”
The water was cool and soothing and Jared swallowed it in quick gulps. It didn’t help that he hadn’t slept. He wasn’t in the best state of mind to welcome his time traveler.
Eventually he found his voice again. “It must all look so different from when you last saw it.”
“No, not really. Garden’s the same.” Jensen’s face softened with emotion. “I’ve missed it. I knew they sold it.” His eyes locked with Jared’s and Jared felt his heart thump erratically like it had been charged. “But I can see how well you’ve been caring for it. Thank you for that.”
“Of course. You don’t have to thank me. I love this garden. It’s why I bought the house. It’s magical out here.”
“Enchanted.”
Jared started. “What? I mean, Gail … she said that.”
Jensen smiled and Jared took in his gleaming white teeth. God, the man was gorgeous. “I know. She’d say it all the time. Said it would-“
Curious, Jared urged, “What?”
“Always be with me.”
The way Jensen said it with a wistful smile gave the words warmth and a sense of belonging. Jared smiled. “She must have been young when you knew her.”
Jensen smiled back. “Gail is ageless.” He stood and took a final look around. “So, Jared … do you think it would be okay if I visit again sometime?”
Jared stood, too. “You think you’ll be able to come and go?”
“I moved back.”
Wow. Jensen moved back to the garden from … where … heaven? A hand reached out and Jared met Jensen’s outstretched palm with his own. The connection tingled and Jared felt the shiver deep in his bones. He held on longer than necessary but couldn’t bring himself to care.
“Thanks, Jared.”
“You … you’ll come back, right?”
Jensen pulled his hand away and smiled shyly at Jared.
And then the time-travelling ghost did the darndest thing. He walked to the back gate, which Jared just now noticed was slightly ajar, and stepped through it, meandering down the block on foot until he turned the corner and disappeared.
* * *
Jared plotted his novels carefully although he wasn’t so rigid that nothing could change. But his endings generally followed his original plan.
Keith was tied up and bleeding and coming to in the middle of his worst nightmare. Jared was working on the reveal of the stepfather and the despair Keith would feel that Tony wasn’t there. That he would never see his true love again.
The phone vibrating in his pocket interrupted Jared’s heavy heart. Damn. It’s like he didn’t want to write the ending.
“Hello?”
“Jared, it’s Gail.”
“Hey Gail. What’s up?”
“I understand you had a visitor?”
Jared blinked. “You … know?”
She laughed. “I keep in touch.”
Wow. Gail must be some sort of medium as well as a realtor. “He said he’d be back. Is it possible?”
“Oh, I don’t see why not. Well, if it’s all right with you, of course.”
“Yes. Absolutely. Please. If you, um, talk to him or communicate or whatever it’s called. Please tell him to come back any time. The garden is his.”
Jared heard another soft laugh. “That’s very sweet of you, dear. I’ll relay the sentiment.” She paused slightly. “I had a feeling about this. I told him, you know. Some endings can be beginnings.”
She hung up after that leaving Jared staring at his cell phone confused.
But upon returning to his story Jared’s hands started flying over the keyboard. Moving in a totally new direction. His fans may balk but this time. This time the surprise would be truly unexpected.
* * *
“You … you’re here.”
“Stay with me, Keith. You’re gonna be okay. Ambulance is coming.”
“Am I dead?” He didn’t think it should hurt so much to be dead, but what did he know. Maybe he was in hell, and this was the start of his torment.
A chuckle and a soft touch to his face from the ghost of the man he’d killed all those years ago. “No. I’m so sorry it went down like this. I was supposed to set the meeting place to trap him, and you should have been safe. I made the link several years ago. DNA proved it was him. The body you ID’d belonged to someone else. But he was a step ahead, covered his tracks every time. And I didn’t think.” Tony’s voice softened like butter. A hand cupped his cheek. “I didn’t think of what would happen if he figured it out and hijacked the chat server … “
Pain wracked Keith’s side as he tried to shift. He let out a grunt and swallowed it down. “You’re not dead.”
“No. He barely scratched me.” But then something in Tony’s eyes shifted, widened. “You don’t mean today, do you?”
Tears tracked through the blood on his face as Keith succumbed to the weight of his lifetime of guilt. He heard sirens closing in but had to get this out. “I’m so sorry. That day. You fell and I left you. Oh god … I’m so sorry.”
Confusion, then realization crossed Tony’s face. “You thought I was dead?”
“There was so much blood … and you didn’t wake up.”
The paramedics were approaching. Tony squeezed his hand. “Knocked me out, and head wounds bleed like a son of a bitch. I had a concussion. Needed a couple of stitches.” He stopped, wiped at the bloody tears on Keith’s face. “That wasn’t what hurt.”
“I’m sorry,” Keith whispered again. “I was stupid … and young … and didn’t know what to do.”
He was surprised when Tony climbed in the ambulance to sit with him. Through the haze of the medication Keith listened as Tony quietly explained that the FBI had used Keith as bait in a sting to catch a mass murderer.
“The bastard was a step ahead. We knew he’d been hacking your conversations with me … with ‘Anton’ … because he’d always been tracking you, had some sort of hard-on to get to you. So we made it easy. But then … I’m sorry … he switched servers and was able to communicate with you without our knowledge, and everything got out of control. I did everything I knew to figure out where he lured you. Shit, I should have seen it coming. The sick fuck. It’s my fault. If you never want to see me again I understand. I’m so sorry. But you’ll be okay. Just hold on. Hold on, okay?”
Keith focused on the green eyes lasered on his. “We … both screwed up,” he got the words out over the pain. The strong meds were dragging him under but Keith fought to get out one final word. “Stay.”
Stretching, Jared stood and sighed. This wasn’t the first character he ever let live. But it was the first that ended up with the potential for a real life. He smiled. It felt good.
From habit he wandered into the hallway and to the window overlooking the garden. A sound caught his attention and then a figure emerged from behind a bush. Jensen looked up just then as if he sensed someone was watching him. And he gave a little wave.
Jared raced downstairs, heart pounding. He stopped in the kitchen. Should he offer something? Could the ghost drink or eat now that he was solid? He knew Jensen liked coffee.
In the end he couldn’t wait and dashed out empty-handed.
“Hi! You came back.”
Jensen smiled at him, teeth gleaming in the sun. Jared walked closer and his breath caught again. Hot damn. If he had to be haunted, this was the best looking ghost in the history of ever. He knew he was staring but couldn’t help himself.
“You said it would be okay?”
“Yes, of course. Absolutely. Any time.” Jared fought to keep the excitement in his voice to somewhat normal proportions. He couldn’t stop looking at his ghost in the flesh. Eyes that he’d thought were brown back when Jensen was translucent were actually a deep green, speckled with gold. Absolutely mesmerizing.
“Oh … you have freckles.”
Jensen stared at him puzzled, a slight blush coloring his cheeks. He cocked his head. Jared knew he was running at the mouth in an absurd manner.
“It’s just that I hadn’t seen that before.”
“You never saw anyone with freckles before?”
“What? No. I mean, I didn’t realize you had them.”
He remembered suddenly thinking of adding freckles to Tony’s cheeks. Odd coincidence.
Jensen took a step back and spoke slowly. “Is that a problem?”
“Is what a problem?” Jared asked confused.
“My freckles?”
“No. They’re - definitely not a problem.”
A crooked grin appeared on Jensen’s face. “You must know you’re a little odd.”
Jared didn’t take offense. “I can understand how it would seem that way. But then again, this is a rather unusual situation. Many things must appear odd.”
Jensen studied him again. “It really is nice of you to let me visit.” He turned his gaze to the roses. “This one could use some pruning.”
Jared smiled. He headed to the small shed and came back with some gloves and pruning shears. “Have at it.”
The smile he got in return was huge. Jensen started moving slowly around the bush. His motions were familiar and warm. After a few moments Jared said, “I loved watching you work out here.”
Jensen stopped and looked up sharply. “Did you know about the garden before?”
“Yes. You didn’t see me. But I would watch you work. It was … “ Beautiful was the word Jared wanted to say but he couldn’t. In the end, he just trailed off.
“Dude, that’s … kinda creepy.” Jensen stopped snipping and looked pensive. “It’s the books, right? Gail told me you write horror novels. I haven’t read you but she’s going to lend me one.”
Jared blushed slightly. “Yeah. I’ve had a couple that have done well. They’re not … I mean if you’re used to really good writers like Matheson.”
Jensen’s eyes went wide again. “Richard Matheson? How’d you know I liked him? Gail tell you? Never mind. Yeah, he’s one of my favorites.”
“You read Bid Time Return?”
“Not my fave of his, but yeah. Read em all.”
“But wasn’t … I mean, I thought the book was why you moved back?”
Jensen was pensive. He rubbed his hand over his chin in his usual way. “You know, you have a point. I wanted to come home. And this … “ He spread his arms wide. “This is home like no place else. Spent a lot of time out here with Nan and Gramps.”
Huh. Jared hadn’t realized the house had been in Jensen’s family for so many generations. He told Jensen that.
“Oh. Yeah. My grandfather bought it.”
Wow. House was older than Jared realized.
Jensen returned to his pruning and Jared went inside and made them both coffee. When he brought it out Jensen accepted the mug happily. He sipped it in that long, sensuous way. Only now the sounds were clearer and the visual was immediately impacting him in places south of the border.
He sat and watched Jensen work. It was familiar yet different. The muscles in Jensen’s tee-shirt pulled tighter, almost as if he’d been working out more. And instead of the usual dark slacks he was wearing jeans that hugged in the right places. They seemed modern but then again it’s not like Levis have changed that much in the past fifty years.
A voice broke through. “Jay, you out back?”
Brian appeared at the top of the back steps. His eyes froze when he noticed Jensen. “Oh. Sorry … I didn’t realize you had company.”
Jared ran up to him and mumbled. “You can see him?”
Brian stared at him and nodded. Jared’s grin widened. “That’s Jensen.”
His friend paled. Jensen had noticed and walked over by then. He put his hand out. “Jensen Ackles.”
Brian shook it and looked puzzled at Jared. “Brian Buckley.”
“I’ll get out of your hair now,” Jensen said.
“Oh … no … you don’t have to leave on my account,” Brian said quickly.
“Nah. It’s time for me to go.”
“Maybe there are rules,” Jared mumbled to Brian.
Both Jared and Brian stared after Jensen as he walked out the back gate. Jared stood still just watching but Brian ran up to the gate.
“Dude,” he said turning back around. “Your ghost just got in a car and drove away.”
* * *
It was a full week before Jensen returned. Jared was prepared this time. He was going to ask questions. In the interim he’d completed his novel. It was with Misha now and he expected the other man to call any minute and rag on him about the unexpectedly sappy ending. But he didn’t regret it. Even if his love life was stuck in bizzaro world there was no reason Keith and Tony couldn’t reunite.
He was watering the geranium pots when the knock came. He chuckled at the notion of his ghost stopping to knock after all this time. “It’s open.”
Jensen smiled as he walked in cautiously.
“Is this a good time?”
“Yeah … I … finished writing my new book. Just waiting for my editor to call me.”
Jensen was carrying a plastic bag. “It’s a plant food. My gramps swore by it.”
Jared took it, set it down, faced Jensen with a determined look. “How does it work?”
“The food? You just-“
“No. I mean your visiting me.”
“I don’t-“
“You drive here? I mean, there are roads? Is it like metaphorical?”
Jensen tilted his head again. Jared wanted to stop thinking that puzzled gaze was adorable but there was no other word for it.
He continued rambling. “It’s just … I was wishing to meet-and then you just appeared and then I tried the self-hypnosis but I couldn’t come to you. It never worked. I just … how did you do it?”
“I told you, I moved here. About a month ago now. And Gail said she thought it would be okay. Look, Jay, really if you aren’t comfortable with my being here you just should have said so. I get it. It’s your house now.”
Jared was too busy soaking up how great that nickname sounded in Jensen’s husky voice. Boy, he could get used to that. Too bad the other man was dead.
He fought the sting of melancholy but it was hard. Running a hand through his hair he knew his voice was shaky but he couldn’t help it. “I guess … I knew I was waiting for someone. Just … I guess … I hoped … there’d be a chance, you know?”
Jensen licked his lips and Jared followed the motion hungrily. So much fuller in their solid form. “Jared … please forgive me if I’m wrong here. But … are you … hitting on me?”
“Crazy, right? I know. Not possible.”
Jensen looked Jared up and down. “I wouldn’t exactly say that.”
Jared gaped. “But … I mean … I didn’t think it was … especially as you keep having to go. How does that work? Is there a time limit or something? I mean, I get it, I do. You can’t help the rules, right?”
“Rules?”
“For the time travel.”
Taking two quick steps backward Jensen’s hand swept the back of his head. He turned around once and mumbled to himself. “I always pick the crazies. Do I have a sign on my forehead or something?”
“Well, yeah, it’s a crazy situation. But I already said that.”
Jensen turned around and faced him again. “You think I can time travel?”
“Well, yeah, in a way.” Oh shit. Maybe Jensen didn’t realize what year it was. “Jensen,” he began explaining. “It’s not 1957 anymore. It’s 2011.”
“Yeeah,” Jensen dragged the word out slowly. “Gorgeous, so, of course, certifiable.”
“What?” Jared asked at this most odd mumble.
“I guess this is what makes your books special. It’s just … I like you. I do. But I’ve had some not so good experiences with boyfriends who were, um, eccentric. So-“
“No, Jensen, really. It’s 2011. I can prove it.” He dashed to his new laptop sitting on the patio table. He popped open a news site. “See the date. Right there. And I know they didn’t have computers like this in your day. Hell, tires don’t cost fifteen bucks anymore either.”
“I believe you, Jared. I believe it’s 2011.” Jensen looked around. “Is your editor calling soon? Maybe we should tell him you need a vacation or a break or something.”
Jared sighed. It was good that Jensen believed him. “So you don’t really know how you come forward in time?”
Jensen looked at him. “No. I really don’t.”
Jared nodded. “I tried, too. Did everything Matheson said. The hypnosis part worked. But I was still here. I mean now. You know?”
“Uh-huh. What year did you want to visit?”
“1957, of course. I wanted to visit you.”
“Me?”
“Since the first time I saw you in this garden months ago.”
“I only moved back four weeks ago, Jay.”
Jared smiled. “I know that. You were translucent before. More of a real ghost. And you couldn’t see me. But you worked on the plants, humming old Elvis tunes and --
“Wait. What? You saw me in this garden humming Elvis?”
“Yep. Dozens of times. You pruned and trimmed and kept the garden perfect. I just … I watched and talked. Told you about the novel and my characters. Other stuff.” He colored, feeling embarrassed.
Jensen was looking around the garden now with huge eyes. His face was pale and the freckles stood out. Suddenly his eyes lasered into Jared’s. “Before you said we were impossible. Why are we impossible?”
Jared tried to find a nice way to say it. He feared maybe Jensen didn’t realize it. Same way he hadn’t realized it was the future till he’d told him earlier. “Because … Jensen, you’re dead.”
He wasn’t positive what to expect. But he hadn’t expected laughter. Jensen’s head tilted back and he let out a huge guffaw and continued to chuckle, loud and roaring . After a few moments of this confusing hysteria Jensen approached him. He grabbed Jared’s hand and held it to his chest. Jared felt the soft pounding like it was vibrating through his skin.
“Dude. I’m not dead.” He let go and Jared wanted to keep touching. Wanted to feel the throbbing warmth again. “But you need therapy. Years of it.”
The world spun on its axis. “Who … who are you?” Jared asked.
“Jensen Ackles, like I said. My family owned this house and I wanted to visit the garden because of all the fond memories I had of the place. Gail said you wouldn’t mind and that she’d told you all about my grandfather. I’m named after him.”
“You’re real.”
“You shouldn’t be quite so shocked over that fact.” Jensen tempered the snark with a soft grin.
“Oh god … I … “ Jared composed himself. Let himself look into bright green alive eyes. A smile he couldn’t control curved his lips. He lifted his hand and held it out to Jensen, eyes capturing his. “It’s really nice to meet you, Jensen.”
Hesitantly and with a puzzled brow Jensen returned the handshake. Again Jared’s palm tingled at the contact. His smile widened. Jensen might think Jared was insane right now. And probably he was.
But he wasn’t letting go.
To Epilogue
To Masterpost
Jared reread Bid Time Return and watched the movie Somewhere in Time that was based on it. The concept was low tech and simple. You dress for the time you want to be in. You carry only things from that time. And you mentally convince yourself you are, in fact, there. Or rather then. Or something.
And then Jensen would look at him.
It was amazing how much he wanted that.
He walked out into the garden holding the Matheson book. “Did you read this one, too, Jen?”
Jensen sat in the same spot reading again. Only this time he wasn’t holding a book, but a newspaper. Jared’s heart pounded. That meant he could get the exact date.
He scurried over and read over Jensen’s shoulder. Holy smokes, The Hyde Park Herald. August 14, 1957.
It felt momentous.
It was impossible to read the tiny print of the regular articles because, like Jensen, the paper was translucent and indistinct. Like looking through a soft gauze. The headlines could be discerned, though. Jensen turned the page suddenly and the newspaper passed through Jared’s nose. He wanted so much to have felt it but if he hadn’t seen Jensen’s hand move he wouldn’t have realized it had happened.
The words were easier to make out on this page as they were ads with bolder black print.
“You looking for new tires, Jen?” he asked. “Hey, check it out … $16.40 per tire. Hah. Cost you four times that today.” Jensen turned the page and grocery ads came up. Fifty-nine cents for a turkey? Four cents a pound for watermelon? Guess those were the days.”
He stood up and held his lower back. Been crouching too long. A sudden knock made him jump. His eyes flew to Jensen but Jensen was gone. Jared approached the back gate.
The man standing there startled him.
“Justin. What? Why are you--?”
They hadn’t seen each other in months. Not since Jared had turned down the marriage proposal. Justin’s parting shot of ‘You don’t know what love means’ lingered long past the slammed door.
“I tried the front bell but nobody answered.”
Jared unlocked the gate and let his ex-boyfriend inside. Justin looked around. “Wow. This is something. Just like they said.”
Suspicion rose. “They?”
Justin’s guilty look said it all. “Misha called-“
Dammit. Busybody. “What he tell you?”
“That you’re holed up here.” Justin looked around again, his chest expanding as he inhaled the sweet floral scents. “Although … yeah. Why leave? It’s gorgeous here.”
That softened Jared. It’s not like he and Justin didn’t have similar tastes. Hell, they got along like hamburgers and buns. Jared just … fuck, he still didn’t know why it wasn’t enough. Didn’t know what enough was.
“C’mon in. I’ll give you a tour.”
Justin hesitated. “How’ve you been, Jay?”
Jared straightened up, pulled his shoulders square. “Fine. Really. Been writing a lot. And, um, working out here on my garden.”
A smile tilted Justin’s lips but his eyes looked sad and that’s when Jared realized that Justin hadn’t wanted to hear that. He’d probably thought Jared’s reclusiveness had to do with their breakup. That he missed Justin. Truth was he was missing something. His eyes automatically roamed the garden but Jensen wasn’t here.
He showed his ex into his new home. They walked the long length of the downstairs and stopped in the front parlor. Outside of the office and kitchen this was Jared’s favorite room. It was cozy and quaint. He purposely had no television in here. There was one in the third upstairs bedroom that he’d turned into a media room-slash-guestroom. A second TV was in the kitchen. He liked to watch TV while eating dinner, so that worked.
He’d kept this room as a true old-fashioned parlor where one would entertain guests and, well, talk. Of course, he hardly had guests. Maybe that should change. Justin sat on Jared’s sofa. For a moment it made his heart long. Same sofa they’d had in their apartment. When they split their belongings Jared kept the sofa and arm chair and Justin took the electronics. Not that he had space for a 50 inch flat panel anymore within his small rooms.
“What’s wrong?” Justin asked suddenly.
Jared flushed at Justin’s sudden perception. Although after two years Justin certainly knew Jared. He couldn’t lie. “Just seeing you sitting there … “
Justin’s eyes locked with his. “Yeah.” He swallowed. “I’ve missed you, Jay.”
“I’ve missed you, too. I know I said this before but … I’m sorry.”
It was impossible not to miss Justin. He was funny and sweet. They shared two years of their lives and lived together for half that time. Not to mention he was gorgeous. Tousled blond hair and chiseled cheekbones. Warm brown eyes that were almost … almost enough.
“I really thought we could … “ Justin trailed off, shifted his eyes toward the front window. “Never mind. Didn’t come here to rehash.” But then his eyes met Jared’s again. “Can’t make someone love you.”
“It’s not that I didn’t-“
“Jared, please. I know you did. And I do, too. Always will. Just wanted to know you were okay. And you are. Same, really. Haven’t met him yet, have you?”
For an insane moment Jared thought Justin was talking about Jensen. That he knew what was going on. “Who?”
“The guy you gave me up for?”
Sitting down himself Jared decided maybe it was time to man up. Do what Keith could never do. Tell the truth. “No.”
He watched Justin suck in air and his head nod minutely. Jared hadn’t admitted that before. Justin accused him of wanting someone else. Someone perfect who didn’t exist. And Jared denied it and said that wasn’t it. That he just wasn’t ready for marriage. It wasn’t a pretty fight.
For the first time a flicker of that anger returned to Justin’s hard gaze. “Could end up alone.”
“Then I’ll be alone.”
Justin pushed on his thighs and stood up. “I guess … I’m gonna go.” Jared hated seeing the pain back in his ex-boyfriend’s eyes. “Tell Misha not to call me, okay?”
“I will. I’m sorry he did. I am fine. And you will be, too.”
He walked Justin the few steps to his front door. Another thing he loved about the house. The deep dark mahogany front door with the stained glass inset.
“How do you know that? That I’ll be fine?” Justin’s voice was soft and small and honest.
Jared shook slightly. Justin wasn’t asking for pity. “Because I’ll always care about you. And you deserve someone who loves you back with all of himself.”
He drew Justin into a hug but kept it short. Neither was the type to cling. He whispered into Justin’s ear. “I’m not the only one that hasn’t met him yet.”
That drew a gentle chuckle out of Justin. “If anyone knew that the scariest horror writer this side of Koontz was such a sap they’d laugh till their guts split out of their bodies. Then they’d look like one of your victims.”
* * *
Keith was sixteen when he’d first laid eyes on Tony. Lean and tall with spiky brown hair and huge eyes.
Jared twisted his lips. “Jen, I’m thinking of adding freckles.” He shook his head. “That’s crazy, right?”
“I didn’t think you were coming till tomorrow.”
The voice, muffled, like it was coming through a blanket, shocked the hell out of Jared. “Jensen?”
Only Jensen wasn’t talking to Jared. He was staring toward Jared’s open kitchen doorway. Nobody was there. Well, nobody was there now. Clearly in Jensen’s timeframe he’d been surprised by someone coming out that door. Jared gaped. He’d heard a snippet of Jensen’s voice before. Self-mutterings when tending the plants. Snatches of humming, mostly Elvis and Buddy Holly songs. This was different. Although not much clearer than Jensen’s physical form, Jared was hearing the other man’s conversation.
“I know, right?” Jensen turned around and his gaze passed by Jared, lingering an odd moment. He turned back to the invisible guest. “Yes. It takes some work but it’s worth it.” There was another long pause as Jensen listened. “The same. I’m so glad you could make it out. C’mon in the house and I’ll get you settled.”
Jared followed Jensen back inside but as always Jensen vanished at the threshold. Standing alone, staring into the kitchen Jared tried to imagine what it had looked like in Jensen’s time. Was is it filled with mustard yellow appliances and speckled Formica countertops? Gail had made a huge point about the kitchen’s recent renovation. All new black granite and stainless steel appliances. Jared liked it at the time and it had been a factor in selecting this house.
Truthfully, he was still glad for the work that the family had done. But he wondered if Jensen would appear to him indoors if it did look like it used to when Jensen had been living here. If he kept to Matheson’s theory, then the reason Jared was connecting to Jensen in the garden is because it was essentially unchanged.
He wondered about Jensen’s unexpected guest. Who was it? Man, woman? Family? Old friend? Jared didn’t think it had been a lover. Jensen hadn’t acted like that was the case. He wondered again why he didn’t just research the family. Google or the library. Surely he’d at least be able to come up with records that showed whether or not Jensen ever married. No wait, of course he had. His children had sold the house. Except they didn’t have to be Jensen’s children. They could have been his nieces and nephews.
His cell vibrated in his pocket distracting him away from Jensen’s potential family. It was a text from Brian.
Got some books. Want me to bring them over?
He typed back quickly.
Sure. Whenever.
C u soon.
Brian, best friend extraordinaire, was bringing over what he’d found on self-hypnosis. Jared was determined this was the best way to get answers. He was going to visit Jensen where when he lived.
* * *
The hardest part of writing any book was when his character got hurt. Jared didn’t like it when he caused pain. And this one was gonna get real bloody before it was over. The villain was one of Jared’s most vicious creations. Pure unadulterated evil. Closest to the supernatural he’d gotten as an author. Because Jared couldn’t let himself believe that kind of depravity could exist within humanity.
“It’s not like Keith doesn’t suspect it’s a trap. I think that’s what going to make the readers cringe. They know it. And he knows it. But he has to know.”
Jensen looked up again, looking around. This was happening more lately. Jared didn’t know if Jensen was hearing him or not. He liked to think so. Clearly he was hearing something. And then he cocked his head in this adorable way and his brows scrunched. A second later he walked toward the open doorway and a tall glass with a light liquid appeared in his hand.
“Thanks. Really needed that.” Jensen swallowed down the liquid and Jared could only stare. It always jarred those few times he heard Jensen’s muffled voice. He’d give anything to hear it clear and loud. And directed at Jared.
“No, I was just reading.” Jensen continued his conversation with the invisible stranger. “Shopping, I think.” There was a laugh. Soft, like the echo of the sound rather than the real thing. “Yep, we’re going over at seven.” Another pause. Jensen sat on the settee and looked up. He went to sip his drink before realizing the glass was empty. His lips turned up in a smile.
“Hey, did you ever … “ Jensen’s voice trailed off. “Nah. You know what, never mind. It’s crazy.”
Jared imagined the other person doing what he was mentally doing himself, urging Jensen to continue. “It’s just lately. I don’t know, I feel like … you’re going to think I’m insane.” There was another chuckle. Jared suddenly got the impression this was a family member, maybe a sibling.
After placing the glass down carefully on the ground Jensen looked up again at his companion. “Okay.” He took a deep breath as if bracing himself. “Sometimes I get the feeling I’m being watched.”
Jared’s heart tangoed in his chest. Jensen was sensing him! It appeared that the other person found the confession funny because Jensen’s face broke into a grin. “Screw you. I knew I shouldn’t have said anything. “No, I don’t think it’s aliens. You’ve been going to too many stupid movies.” Jensen stood and picked the glass back up again. “I’m gonna go get some more. Parched. Too hot to stay out here any more. Can you hang a while?”
As Jensen trailed after his visitor on the steps Jared cried out, “Jensen!” as loud as he could.
But the other man didn’t halt or slow down. And as soon as he crossed into the house, he vanished.
Leaving Jared alone.
* * *
“Hi Jay. Did it work?”
Jared invited Brian inside, ignoring his friend’s question for the time being.
“Want a beer?” Jared asked instead.
“Sure.”
They settled on the sofa overlooking the front bay window. Jared had some custom cabinetry done to build a hinged window seat with storage inside. He’d just received the cushion he’d ordered to fit and it looked great. But all these changes, Jared realized sadly, were changing the character of the room enough that Jensen couldn’t appear. If the theory was right.
Finally it was time to address Brian’s initial query. “I tried it a few times. I think … I mean, I definitely got into that relaxed state. But from that to convincing myself I’m in the past. It’s a leap.” Jared brushed his hair back in frustration. He didn’t know if he could do it.
Brian nodded. His friend looked like he was gearing himself up to say something. “So I, um, called Genevieve.”
Jared smiled. “Yeah?”
“She’s going to come hear me play.”
“That’s great. I had a feeling about you two.”
“It’s nothing yet.”
“Yes, it is. Because she didn’t ask me to go with. That means she’s hoping to get together with you alone after the performance.”
“You think?”
“I know. The doctor went bust. I don’t think they made it past a second date.”
“Misha told me.”
Jared bit back a laugh. His editor was a first-class yenta. But Misha also loved Gen like a sister and it was nice to see that Misha also thought she and Brian could work.
“So did you get the clothes yet?” Brian took the conversation back to the time travel.
“Yeah. Not easy finding used clothes in my size. But I got a pair of Levis and a plaid button down. I can’t swear they were made before 1957 but the girl selling them said they were authentic.”
Brian looked pensive before he spoke again. “Jay, what if … I mean, say it works. Will you vanish? I … will we just forget you?”
“I don’t know. I figured I’d just avoid anyone I know or will know. Stay away from my family.” He paused. “This is nuts, eh?”
“It’s a little nuts. Yeah.”
Eyeing his best friend Jared suddenly understood that Brian was just going along because he believed Jared needed it. It was the way Brian was. Friendship meant not questioning. It meant accepting. He loved his friend for that. But that didn’t mean Brian thought there was a snowball’s chance in hell that Jared was going to convince himself into the past. Except …
“I have to try, Bri. I have to … “ Meet him.
“You will,” Brian said although Jared never finished his sentence.
* * *
The day Jared decided to time travel was overcast and windy. Yet Jensen was puttering away in the garden and wearing a newsboy cap so Jared decided the weather must be nice where he was going.
He had convinced himself that it would work. Maybe he was falling into the mindset of the character in Matheson’s book and film. He thought back to his own character. To Keith. For a crazy second he felt guilty leaving him trapped in the hands of a madman. The book couldn’t come with Jared. Nothing created after 1957 could be on his person.
Of course, he could try to recreate his novel if this worked. Hey, he could predate Stephen King. Set modern horror ahead of itself. Except. He needed to stay low. His mission was to be invisible. Well, to everyone except Jensen. And that’s what this was all about. He had to meet the fuzzy figure that had captivated Jared’s heart. Had to know who the other man was. Why he kept appearing to Jared in the garden. Had to know what it all meant.
Like the character in Somewhere in Time, Jared had made himself a looped recording to help him relax. The words repeated over and over that it was 1957. August 14, 1957. His voice was soft and calm in the recording. It played aloud from a speaker set up in his kitchen that could be heard outside.
He stood in his garden. Jensen wasn’t around. He’d removed the patio table and chairs he’d added. Nothing but the plants and original containers and furniture remained. Jared wore the period faded jeans and soft shirt. He wondered how many washes it had gone through over fifty odd years.
Slouching on the settee he let his shoulders relax. His voice wafted from inside, repeating the date in a cycle. He put his hands on his lap, palms up and practiced the deep breathing that put him in a hypnotic state.
Time passed slowly when he did this. Everything from his heartbeat to his brainwaves came to a crawl.
It’s Wednesday, August 14, 1957. It’s 1957. Jensen is here. Working in the yard. Reading the Herald. It’s August 14, 1957. A Wednesday. The sun is bright and Jensen is here. 1957. Eisenhower is president. It’s 1957. Jensen is looking at ads for tires. Jensen is here.
Jared felt the sun through his languidness. Carefully he opened his eyes. The garden looked the same. He didn’t see Jensen. Sun motes danced in his vision in his semi-dream state. He squiggled his bare toes into the patch of grass beneath his feet. C’mon, Jen, come out to read your paper.
A shadow crossed his vision drawing his eyes up.
And the illusion shattered as the tail end of the modern jet plane winked out of sight.
He came out of the hypnotic state with a sharp gasp. Tears burned as the thoughts fool and idiot and time travel isn’t possible were warring for attention.
Jensen didn’t exist. Jared needed to accept this and start living his life again.
Just then, as if to punctuate his thoughts, a car rumbled down the street blaring music. Modern rap. Pulsing and echoing, like the beating of his heart within his lonely chest.
* * *
It had been twenty years, yet the pungent scent of the murky woods made those years vanish. Once more Keith approached the abandoned hunting cabin on shaky legs, just as he had then. The ground was spongy from the recent rain, and fat, black clouds promised more. Fitting. It had been raining then, too, pouring over him so that he didn’t know where the sky ended and his misery began. Sixteen and terrified of his stepdad, the sheriff, a man who could do anything to him even if Keith had done nothing wrong. Now? If the sheriff even suspected about Tony, Keith would be beaten to within an inch of his life, he was sure.
The rain had washed the blood into the soil, absorbed like a dentist’s saliva ejector. A split second of petrified anger and the earth had swallowed up the only thing, the only person he gave a damn about.
They’d kissed like their next breath could only come from each other, and then Tony had begged, “Leave with me.”
Keith can still feel the heat of that moment, as the illicit thrill of that first kiss transformed into anger. Anger at having to live in fear, at watching his mother’s denial, at the ease of those words from someone who didn’t know. Who didn’t have to live with him every day. His reactionary shove surprised Tony who stumbled back, lost his balance. Keith laughed at the graceless motions Tony made as he hit the ground. Keith’s anger receded like the clouds blowing away overhead. A minute later he reached his hand down to help Tony up.
Only Tony didn’t move. He lay stone still, eyes shut and chest not moving as crimson blood oozed in lazy swirls beneath his skull.
Keith had killed the only person who’d wanted to save him.
And Keith had run, because if he’d still been around when the sheriff found the body, Keith’s life wouldn’t be worth squat.
Except all these years later, Anton knew things he couldn’t possibly know. Keith struggled between impossible hope and gruesome memory. Could Tony really be alive?
Misha ran his hands through his hair and turned to Jared, putting the page down slowly. He met Jared’s eyes. “It’s not Tony in the cabin.”
Jared let out a small smile. Since when had he ever written something expected?
Misha continued. “I thought the sheriff was dead.”
“He’s mostly dead.” Jared chuckled at his own joke. Princess Bride references never grew old.
Only Misha didn’t laugh back. “I know you go dark. And readers, god bless them, eat it up. But … “ Jared watched Misha try to form his thoughts into a sentence. “Man, is this a depressing story.”
“You want happily ever after, go read a fairy tale.”
Misha stepped back, arms up defensively. “Whoa. Didn’t mean to insult. Just pointing it out. It’s just … this is more than dark, it’s bleak.”
“I’ve never had any happy endings. It’s the way life goes.”
It was true. Jared’s characters might survive their hideous ordeals but what would realistically come next is years of therapy at best. Suddenly he saw Justin in his mind as he looked the day he proposed and Jared turned him down. Bitterness coloring his lover’s eyes nearly black.
You don’t know how to love.
Jared sighed as Misha continued to gaze at him. “I don’t know how else to end it,” he responded finally.
You can’t know what you are missing.
* * *
“So it didn’t work the first time. Try again, Jay.”
Jared knew Brian meant well. But hopeless was hopeless. He’d tried three times total. And each time left him cold and shivering and aching for something he couldn’t identify. Couldn’t really name. Just knew it was a hole he couldn’t fill.
“No, Bri, it’s ridiculous. There’s no such thing as time travel. And even if there were, it’s not going to happen by hypnosis. You can’t just believe yourself into something.”
Brian tucked his leg under himself on the iron seat. Jared had made some sun tea with mint, and the pitcher sat sweating on the side table.
“So … “ Brian began gently. “What now?”
Jared met his warm blue stare. “Now? Now I stop feeling sorry for myself. Acknowledge that there’s no such thing as the relationship I want and get back to finishing my book.”
Brian fidgeted. His friend took a long sip of the iced tea before carefully putting his glass down. “You could … re-think about Justin … “
Surprise colored Jared pink. “No. Never. God, didn’t I hurt him enough?”
“That’s not what I-“
“Look. It’s not that bad. I have my writing. I have my friends. I have this house.” I have Jensen in this garden.
But Brian heard what Jared didn’t say out loud. “But he’s not … I mean, you can’t really interact with him, you know?”
“Maybe not. But he’s still here. And it feels like I’m not alone, you know?”
Brian nodded but his look remained cautious. “If you try again, let me know, okay? I don’t want you to just vanish one day.”
The seriousness of Brian’s expression couldn’t help but bring a smile to Jared’s face. The one thing he had in this time were his friends and that was no small thing.
* * *
Writing the climactic scene was intense for Jared. Keith was facing off with someone he thought long dead. And he wasn’t going to survive. Jared always wrote his scariest scenes when it was night, the darkness amplifying the intensity of his character’s situation. But after a long night of writing he felt too wound to nap. Instead he peered out into the dawn light. Might as well chill in the garden.
He took his usual seat, placing his steaming coffee mug beside him. The patio table was back so he could breakfast in the sun. No Jensen, but that was typical. The man usually came out when the sun was higher overhead. Jared wondered if Jensen didn’t need the sunbeams to exist since he seemed to float among them. All that was missing was a newspaper. But he’d brought out his laptop and skimmed news that way. It was quiet and traffic was just starting to pick up on the parallel busy street. He heard his next door neighbor’s alarm clock going off through an open bedroom window. A dog barked in the distance.
A few more sips of the soothing warmth, the caffeine not waking him but having the reverse effect. He shut the laptop and rested his hands in his lap, taking slow, deep breaths. One positive thing about the self-hypnosis that Jared had taught himself was that he could pretty much get into that meditative state at will now, and when his nerves felt frayed it was a good way to unwind. Jared eased his mind into that blurred state of total relaxation, dwelling in that moment before sleep overtook, where the world was gauzy and snuffled. Slightly trippy, his body sinking into itself like ice cream melting slowly in the sun.
A final deep suck of air and he opened his eyes slowly, letting his gaze swallow the explosion of colors from the blooms. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a familiar shadow.
“Hi. Um … I hope you don’t mind if I--”
Jared jumped. The coffee went flying as his hip knocked the table, spilling all over his laptop and soaking the front of his pants and holy shit … Jensen was looking right at him!
Mind clicking into gear he pulled the laptop out of the puddle even though he knew it was too late. The damage was done.
“Oh god … Oh, I am so sorry.”
Jared looked up sharply. Who was Jensen talking to? The sun was bright hot white and haloed around the other man until he glowed. Did it work? Was Jared back in time. But the laptop? Maybe it didn’t matter?
“When? How?” Jared knew he was babbling.
“I didn’t mean to frighten you,” Jensen said quickly. “I just … this garden … “
Jared staggered because Jensen continued to look right at him as he spoke. “Can you … can you hear me?”
“Yeah?” Jensen’s voice tinged with hesitation. “Look. I’m really sorry about your … Maybe it could be fixed … although … it looks bad.”
“Jensen,” Jared stopped, unsure what to say next. He took a deep breath. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”
“You know my name?”
“Yes. Gail. The realtor who sold me the house. She told me.”
Jensen’s brows scrunched but then he nodded as if this made sense. He kept staring at Jared questioningly. After a moment Jared realized what the other man hadn’t asked.
“Oh. Right. You don’t know who I … My name’s Jared.”
“So you’re not angry that I came into the garden?”
“Angry? No, not at all. It’s your … well, I guess it’s mine now … but I feel … like it’ll always be yours, you know?”
Jensen didn’t reply, his face tilted slightly. “That’s … very nice of you.” He took a look around. “Wow. It’s the same.”
Jared laughed. “Well, it’s being well cared for.”
A smile tilted Jensen’s lips, which seemed even fuller than before. In fact … Jared took a step closer to his ghost. He blinked and then rubbed his eyes. Because Jensen was … solid. The transparency … the swirls of light that would pass through him, they weren’t there. Suddenly he could make out the other man’s face in startling detail. Huge green eyes that no longer looked too close together. And a straight nose that seemed … smaller. And a cleft on his chin when Jared hadn’t been able to detect one before.
The distant booming of a deep bass sounded in the distance from a passing car. The truth hit Jared like a hammer. It wasn’t that Jared had gone back in time. Jensen had travelled forward to him. Jared approached closer. He put a hand out slowly and extended a finger. Jensen followed his movements with cautious intensity. A quick poke into solid flesh and Jared leapt back, heart pounding.
“Oh. My. God.” Jared couldn’t catch his breath.
“Dude, you okay? Maybe you should sit. The sun’s real strong. I think maybe you need some water or something.”
A strong grip held his arm and led him to the settee. “Here … Just put your head between your legs … I’ll be right back.”
Jensen dashed into his kitchen. Jared wondered what he’d think of all the changes. He felt laughter bubble up. He was giggling when a tall glass of water was waved before his face.
“Here. Drink this. It’ll help. I remember when I spent too much time working out here, sometimes the sun would get to my head, too. Nan would insist I wear a cap but I didn’t always listen.”
The water was cool and soothing and Jared swallowed it in quick gulps. It didn’t help that he hadn’t slept. He wasn’t in the best state of mind to welcome his time traveler.
Eventually he found his voice again. “It must all look so different from when you last saw it.”
“No, not really. Garden’s the same.” Jensen’s face softened with emotion. “I’ve missed it. I knew they sold it.” His eyes locked with Jared’s and Jared felt his heart thump erratically like it had been charged. “But I can see how well you’ve been caring for it. Thank you for that.”
“Of course. You don’t have to thank me. I love this garden. It’s why I bought the house. It’s magical out here.”
“Enchanted.”
Jared started. “What? I mean, Gail … she said that.”
Jensen smiled and Jared took in his gleaming white teeth. God, the man was gorgeous. “I know. She’d say it all the time. Said it would-“
Curious, Jared urged, “What?”
“Always be with me.”
The way Jensen said it with a wistful smile gave the words warmth and a sense of belonging. Jared smiled. “She must have been young when you knew her.”
Jensen smiled back. “Gail is ageless.” He stood and took a final look around. “So, Jared … do you think it would be okay if I visit again sometime?”
Jared stood, too. “You think you’ll be able to come and go?”
“I moved back.”
Wow. Jensen moved back to the garden from … where … heaven? A hand reached out and Jared met Jensen’s outstretched palm with his own. The connection tingled and Jared felt the shiver deep in his bones. He held on longer than necessary but couldn’t bring himself to care.
“Thanks, Jared.”
“You … you’ll come back, right?”
Jensen pulled his hand away and smiled shyly at Jared.
And then the time-travelling ghost did the darndest thing. He walked to the back gate, which Jared just now noticed was slightly ajar, and stepped through it, meandering down the block on foot until he turned the corner and disappeared.
* * *
Jared plotted his novels carefully although he wasn’t so rigid that nothing could change. But his endings generally followed his original plan.
Keith was tied up and bleeding and coming to in the middle of his worst nightmare. Jared was working on the reveal of the stepfather and the despair Keith would feel that Tony wasn’t there. That he would never see his true love again.
The phone vibrating in his pocket interrupted Jared’s heavy heart. Damn. It’s like he didn’t want to write the ending.
“Hello?”
“Jared, it’s Gail.”
“Hey Gail. What’s up?”
“I understand you had a visitor?”
Jared blinked. “You … know?”
She laughed. “I keep in touch.”
Wow. Gail must be some sort of medium as well as a realtor. “He said he’d be back. Is it possible?”
“Oh, I don’t see why not. Well, if it’s all right with you, of course.”
“Yes. Absolutely. Please. If you, um, talk to him or communicate or whatever it’s called. Please tell him to come back any time. The garden is his.”
Jared heard another soft laugh. “That’s very sweet of you, dear. I’ll relay the sentiment.” She paused slightly. “I had a feeling about this. I told him, you know. Some endings can be beginnings.”
She hung up after that leaving Jared staring at his cell phone confused.
But upon returning to his story Jared’s hands started flying over the keyboard. Moving in a totally new direction. His fans may balk but this time. This time the surprise would be truly unexpected.
* * *
“You … you’re here.”
“Stay with me, Keith. You’re gonna be okay. Ambulance is coming.”
“Am I dead?” He didn’t think it should hurt so much to be dead, but what did he know. Maybe he was in hell, and this was the start of his torment.
A chuckle and a soft touch to his face from the ghost of the man he’d killed all those years ago. “No. I’m so sorry it went down like this. I was supposed to set the meeting place to trap him, and you should have been safe. I made the link several years ago. DNA proved it was him. The body you ID’d belonged to someone else. But he was a step ahead, covered his tracks every time. And I didn’t think.” Tony’s voice softened like butter. A hand cupped his cheek. “I didn’t think of what would happen if he figured it out and hijacked the chat server … “
Pain wracked Keith’s side as he tried to shift. He let out a grunt and swallowed it down. “You’re not dead.”
“No. He barely scratched me.” But then something in Tony’s eyes shifted, widened. “You don’t mean today, do you?”
Tears tracked through the blood on his face as Keith succumbed to the weight of his lifetime of guilt. He heard sirens closing in but had to get this out. “I’m so sorry. That day. You fell and I left you. Oh god … I’m so sorry.”
Confusion, then realization crossed Tony’s face. “You thought I was dead?”
“There was so much blood … and you didn’t wake up.”
The paramedics were approaching. Tony squeezed his hand. “Knocked me out, and head wounds bleed like a son of a bitch. I had a concussion. Needed a couple of stitches.” He stopped, wiped at the bloody tears on Keith’s face. “That wasn’t what hurt.”
“I’m sorry,” Keith whispered again. “I was stupid … and young … and didn’t know what to do.”
He was surprised when Tony climbed in the ambulance to sit with him. Through the haze of the medication Keith listened as Tony quietly explained that the FBI had used Keith as bait in a sting to catch a mass murderer.
“The bastard was a step ahead. We knew he’d been hacking your conversations with me … with ‘Anton’ … because he’d always been tracking you, had some sort of hard-on to get to you. So we made it easy. But then … I’m sorry … he switched servers and was able to communicate with you without our knowledge, and everything got out of control. I did everything I knew to figure out where he lured you. Shit, I should have seen it coming. The sick fuck. It’s my fault. If you never want to see me again I understand. I’m so sorry. But you’ll be okay. Just hold on. Hold on, okay?”
Keith focused on the green eyes lasered on his. “We … both screwed up,” he got the words out over the pain. The strong meds were dragging him under but Keith fought to get out one final word. “Stay.”
Stretching, Jared stood and sighed. This wasn’t the first character he ever let live. But it was the first that ended up with the potential for a real life. He smiled. It felt good.
From habit he wandered into the hallway and to the window overlooking the garden. A sound caught his attention and then a figure emerged from behind a bush. Jensen looked up just then as if he sensed someone was watching him. And he gave a little wave.
Jared raced downstairs, heart pounding. He stopped in the kitchen. Should he offer something? Could the ghost drink or eat now that he was solid? He knew Jensen liked coffee.
In the end he couldn’t wait and dashed out empty-handed.
“Hi! You came back.”
Jensen smiled at him, teeth gleaming in the sun. Jared walked closer and his breath caught again. Hot damn. If he had to be haunted, this was the best looking ghost in the history of ever. He knew he was staring but couldn’t help himself.
“You said it would be okay?”
“Yes, of course. Absolutely. Any time.” Jared fought to keep the excitement in his voice to somewhat normal proportions. He couldn’t stop looking at his ghost in the flesh. Eyes that he’d thought were brown back when Jensen was translucent were actually a deep green, speckled with gold. Absolutely mesmerizing.
“Oh … you have freckles.”
Jensen stared at him puzzled, a slight blush coloring his cheeks. He cocked his head. Jared knew he was running at the mouth in an absurd manner.
“It’s just that I hadn’t seen that before.”
“You never saw anyone with freckles before?”
“What? No. I mean, I didn’t realize you had them.”
He remembered suddenly thinking of adding freckles to Tony’s cheeks. Odd coincidence.
Jensen took a step back and spoke slowly. “Is that a problem?”
“Is what a problem?” Jared asked confused.
“My freckles?”
“No. They’re - definitely not a problem.”
A crooked grin appeared on Jensen’s face. “You must know you’re a little odd.”
Jared didn’t take offense. “I can understand how it would seem that way. But then again, this is a rather unusual situation. Many things must appear odd.”
Jensen studied him again. “It really is nice of you to let me visit.” He turned his gaze to the roses. “This one could use some pruning.”
Jared smiled. He headed to the small shed and came back with some gloves and pruning shears. “Have at it.”
The smile he got in return was huge. Jensen started moving slowly around the bush. His motions were familiar and warm. After a few moments Jared said, “I loved watching you work out here.”
Jensen stopped and looked up sharply. “Did you know about the garden before?”
“Yes. You didn’t see me. But I would watch you work. It was … “ Beautiful was the word Jared wanted to say but he couldn’t. In the end, he just trailed off.
“Dude, that’s … kinda creepy.” Jensen stopped snipping and looked pensive. “It’s the books, right? Gail told me you write horror novels. I haven’t read you but she’s going to lend me one.”
Jared blushed slightly. “Yeah. I’ve had a couple that have done well. They’re not … I mean if you’re used to really good writers like Matheson.”
Jensen’s eyes went wide again. “Richard Matheson? How’d you know I liked him? Gail tell you? Never mind. Yeah, he’s one of my favorites.”
“You read Bid Time Return?”
“Not my fave of his, but yeah. Read em all.”
“But wasn’t … I mean, I thought the book was why you moved back?”
Jensen was pensive. He rubbed his hand over his chin in his usual way. “You know, you have a point. I wanted to come home. And this … “ He spread his arms wide. “This is home like no place else. Spent a lot of time out here with Nan and Gramps.”
Huh. Jared hadn’t realized the house had been in Jensen’s family for so many generations. He told Jensen that.
“Oh. Yeah. My grandfather bought it.”
Wow. House was older than Jared realized.
Jensen returned to his pruning and Jared went inside and made them both coffee. When he brought it out Jensen accepted the mug happily. He sipped it in that long, sensuous way. Only now the sounds were clearer and the visual was immediately impacting him in places south of the border.
He sat and watched Jensen work. It was familiar yet different. The muscles in Jensen’s tee-shirt pulled tighter, almost as if he’d been working out more. And instead of the usual dark slacks he was wearing jeans that hugged in the right places. They seemed modern but then again it’s not like Levis have changed that much in the past fifty years.
A voice broke through. “Jay, you out back?”
Brian appeared at the top of the back steps. His eyes froze when he noticed Jensen. “Oh. Sorry … I didn’t realize you had company.”
Jared ran up to him and mumbled. “You can see him?”
Brian stared at him and nodded. Jared’s grin widened. “That’s Jensen.”
His friend paled. Jensen had noticed and walked over by then. He put his hand out. “Jensen Ackles.”
Brian shook it and looked puzzled at Jared. “Brian Buckley.”
“I’ll get out of your hair now,” Jensen said.
“Oh … no … you don’t have to leave on my account,” Brian said quickly.
“Nah. It’s time for me to go.”
“Maybe there are rules,” Jared mumbled to Brian.
Both Jared and Brian stared after Jensen as he walked out the back gate. Jared stood still just watching but Brian ran up to the gate.
“Dude,” he said turning back around. “Your ghost just got in a car and drove away.”
* * *
It was a full week before Jensen returned. Jared was prepared this time. He was going to ask questions. In the interim he’d completed his novel. It was with Misha now and he expected the other man to call any minute and rag on him about the unexpectedly sappy ending. But he didn’t regret it. Even if his love life was stuck in bizzaro world there was no reason Keith and Tony couldn’t reunite.
He was watering the geranium pots when the knock came. He chuckled at the notion of his ghost stopping to knock after all this time. “It’s open.”
Jensen smiled as he walked in cautiously.
“Is this a good time?”
“Yeah … I … finished writing my new book. Just waiting for my editor to call me.”
Jensen was carrying a plastic bag. “It’s a plant food. My gramps swore by it.”
Jared took it, set it down, faced Jensen with a determined look. “How does it work?”
“The food? You just-“
“No. I mean your visiting me.”
“I don’t-“
“You drive here? I mean, there are roads? Is it like metaphorical?”
Jensen tilted his head again. Jared wanted to stop thinking that puzzled gaze was adorable but there was no other word for it.
He continued rambling. “It’s just … I was wishing to meet-and then you just appeared and then I tried the self-hypnosis but I couldn’t come to you. It never worked. I just … how did you do it?”
“I told you, I moved here. About a month ago now. And Gail said she thought it would be okay. Look, Jay, really if you aren’t comfortable with my being here you just should have said so. I get it. It’s your house now.”
Jared was too busy soaking up how great that nickname sounded in Jensen’s husky voice. Boy, he could get used to that. Too bad the other man was dead.
He fought the sting of melancholy but it was hard. Running a hand through his hair he knew his voice was shaky but he couldn’t help it. “I guess … I knew I was waiting for someone. Just … I guess … I hoped … there’d be a chance, you know?”
Jensen licked his lips and Jared followed the motion hungrily. So much fuller in their solid form. “Jared … please forgive me if I’m wrong here. But … are you … hitting on me?”
“Crazy, right? I know. Not possible.”
Jensen looked Jared up and down. “I wouldn’t exactly say that.”
Jared gaped. “But … I mean … I didn’t think it was … especially as you keep having to go. How does that work? Is there a time limit or something? I mean, I get it, I do. You can’t help the rules, right?”
“Rules?”
“For the time travel.”
Taking two quick steps backward Jensen’s hand swept the back of his head. He turned around once and mumbled to himself. “I always pick the crazies. Do I have a sign on my forehead or something?”
“Well, yeah, it’s a crazy situation. But I already said that.”
Jensen turned around and faced him again. “You think I can time travel?”
“Well, yeah, in a way.” Oh shit. Maybe Jensen didn’t realize what year it was. “Jensen,” he began explaining. “It’s not 1957 anymore. It’s 2011.”
“Yeeah,” Jensen dragged the word out slowly. “Gorgeous, so, of course, certifiable.”
“What?” Jared asked at this most odd mumble.
“I guess this is what makes your books special. It’s just … I like you. I do. But I’ve had some not so good experiences with boyfriends who were, um, eccentric. So-“
“No, Jensen, really. It’s 2011. I can prove it.” He dashed to his new laptop sitting on the patio table. He popped open a news site. “See the date. Right there. And I know they didn’t have computers like this in your day. Hell, tires don’t cost fifteen bucks anymore either.”
“I believe you, Jared. I believe it’s 2011.” Jensen looked around. “Is your editor calling soon? Maybe we should tell him you need a vacation or a break or something.”
Jared sighed. It was good that Jensen believed him. “So you don’t really know how you come forward in time?”
Jensen looked at him. “No. I really don’t.”
Jared nodded. “I tried, too. Did everything Matheson said. The hypnosis part worked. But I was still here. I mean now. You know?”
“Uh-huh. What year did you want to visit?”
“1957, of course. I wanted to visit you.”
“Me?”
“Since the first time I saw you in this garden months ago.”
“I only moved back four weeks ago, Jay.”
Jared smiled. “I know that. You were translucent before. More of a real ghost. And you couldn’t see me. But you worked on the plants, humming old Elvis tunes and --
“Wait. What? You saw me in this garden humming Elvis?”
“Yep. Dozens of times. You pruned and trimmed and kept the garden perfect. I just … I watched and talked. Told you about the novel and my characters. Other stuff.” He colored, feeling embarrassed.
Jensen was looking around the garden now with huge eyes. His face was pale and the freckles stood out. Suddenly his eyes lasered into Jared’s. “Before you said we were impossible. Why are we impossible?”
Jared tried to find a nice way to say it. He feared maybe Jensen didn’t realize it. Same way he hadn’t realized it was the future till he’d told him earlier. “Because … Jensen, you’re dead.”
He wasn’t positive what to expect. But he hadn’t expected laughter. Jensen’s head tilted back and he let out a huge guffaw and continued to chuckle, loud and roaring . After a few moments of this confusing hysteria Jensen approached him. He grabbed Jared’s hand and held it to his chest. Jared felt the soft pounding like it was vibrating through his skin.
“Dude. I’m not dead.” He let go and Jared wanted to keep touching. Wanted to feel the throbbing warmth again. “But you need therapy. Years of it.”
The world spun on its axis. “Who … who are you?” Jared asked.
“Jensen Ackles, like I said. My family owned this house and I wanted to visit the garden because of all the fond memories I had of the place. Gail said you wouldn’t mind and that she’d told you all about my grandfather. I’m named after him.”
“You’re real.”
“You shouldn’t be quite so shocked over that fact.” Jensen tempered the snark with a soft grin.
“Oh god … I … “ Jared composed himself. Let himself look into bright green alive eyes. A smile he couldn’t control curved his lips. He lifted his hand and held it out to Jensen, eyes capturing his. “It’s really nice to meet you, Jensen.”
Hesitantly and with a puzzled brow Jensen returned the handshake. Again Jared’s palm tingled at the contact. His smile widened. Jensen might think Jared was insane right now. And probably he was.
But he wasn’t letting go.
To Epilogue
To Masterpost