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tmn1966 September 25 2011, 16:18:26 UTC
The beginning of this chapter is so bittersweet. Jared’s memories of the weekend spent with Jensen, cuddled up close to each other watching the miniseries, brunch together, and then looking at Jared’s family photos. It’s a shame about Jensen’s family, although I can understand that painful memories are sometimes hard to deal with and I’ve known a few people who’ve gotten rid of photos when a break-up happens. Also very sad that Jensen didn’t get, at first, what Jared was saying about Tom being his family.

I’m glad that Sandy doesn’t back down from Jensen, tells him that he shouldn’t play with Jared’s feelings. I’m also glad that Jensen didn’t try to pretend that he didn’t know what Sandy was talking about. It’s just too bad that Jensen feels that he can’t back out, that it’s already too late. He at least needs to open up to Tom about the marriage - they aren’t on the same page at all.

Oh my gosh, I really felt for Jared when he first introduces himself to Tom. Jared wants to make a good impression, not only because Tom’s book was so influential, but because Jensen is going to marry Tom. Everyone is so uncomfortable and Tom is acting like an ass. I understand he’s a busy man, but sometimes he doesn’t take the time to see the really important things. Jared is one of the people Tom is fighting for and he brushed him aside, dismissed Jared from his mind because he thought he was weird.

Jared is really struggling to understand how Jensen can marry Tom without being in love, not after having the example of his parents’ marriage. What a lovely but lonely image of Jared staring out the window to the city below and not wanting to go home because he was less alone looking out that window.

Jensen’s backstory… just breaks my heart. Can’t even imagine being all mixed up, not understanding why you’re different, only knowing for sure that your family will hate that difference. Living through high school is difficult enough. Poor Jensen and Cal.

This just makes me shake my head at Tom:

… you never got the fact that people don’t matter as much as you think they do.

Sometimes it’s necessary to stand up, to do the greater good for the many instead of just a few or even the one. But people do matter. Love matters. I know I’m repeating, but poor boys, poor messed up boys.

My heart just broke for Jensen learning more about his family, especially his conversation with his mother when she said he’d never get married, not have kids. And to see his big brother crying. The worst though was knowing that his dad would come home when Jensen wasn’t there. I can understand why Jensen needed a wall, needed shoring up and trained himself to believe loving him only ended in hurt.

I am so happy that Jensen came over to Jared’s, confesses he’s missed Jared, and I love that they talk about what they like and don’t like. Chocolate milk and grilled cheese. :)

The kisses Jared and Jensen share are so hot and real, but so devastating to both of them. Neither of them are really ready for that, not with Jensen’s upcoming wedding. And Jensen telling Jared that he had to be at the ceremony, that he promised, gosh, heartbreaking. I wish Jensen believed he deserves just as much as he thinks/knows Jared should have.

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sandymg September 25 2011, 17:07:21 UTC
Yep. This is the saddest chapter for sure. The promise was something Jensen shouldn't have asked. Because a part of him knew that Jared would say yes. It's why he shouldn't have asked, but it's also why he asked. Kissing Jared was equally wrong. Jensen has a lot to atone for in this story. There is timestamp possibility and if I do revisit those are the things that would be addressed.

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