Beholder, Ch. 5, NC-17, RPS, AU, Jensen/Jared

[sandymg]

Jensen emerged from his shower dressed in his usual garb - sweats and the ever present hoodie jacket. His feet were bare. Jared was struck once more by the contrast of pale skin against the colorless gray floor.

Even though he knew he was wasting his time he tried once more to offer something comfortable to sleep in. “We keep some scrubs here. They’re good to sleep in.”

As expected Jensen shook his head.

“What about just the pants?” Jared tried again.

The hood tilted in Jensen’s considering pose. Jared knew that until they did some shopping again Jensen was down to one pair of sweats. He wasn’t surprised when Jensen accepted the light cotton pants and disappeared into the office.

When he came out he sat on the floor, knees up, head down. After a few moments he started to rock.

Jared came closer slowly. He was starting to get pretty fluent in Jensen’s special language. He dropped next to him. “Hey. It’s okay.”

The hood shook no.

“Yeah. Well, it will be.”

A sound suspiciously like a sniffle came from Jensen’s vicinity.

Jared shivered. He really thought he could stand anything other than Jensen crying. He put his arm around the other man and pulled him sideways toward his shoulder. “It’ll be fine.”

“Jared hurt,” Jensen said, voice feather soft.

“You, too.”

Jared felt a shrug under his arm. “Jared hurt,” Jensen repeated stronger. “Beast’s fault.”

Okay, there was something worse than Jensen crying.

“You aren’t a beast. And it’s not your fault. None of this is your fault. It never was.”

Jensen shook free and suddenly stood. “Hurt Jared. Could have-and girl mad and sleep here. Not right. Jared have home. Have girl. Beautiful … she is. Go home. Please go home.”

Jared stayed on the floor, leaned into his own knees. “It’s not that simple. Yes, she’s beautiful. But that’s not what this is about. I don’t … “ He took a deep breath. “I’ve been ignoring things for years, Jensen. She was comfortable and safe. But that’s not what-it’s supposed to be more. I want to feel more.” He looked up at his shrouded friend. “Have you ever been in love?”

Jared felt eyes upon him for a long moment before Jensen turned away. His answer was barely a whisper. “Who love Beast?”

Jared struggled to hear Jensen’s words. But he heard enough and felt sad and helpless and too tired to say anything further.

“We should sleep,” Jared said finally, rising. “I’ve got sleeping bags in the exam room.”

Jensen followed silently. The room was chilly. The wind outside had picked up and blended with the slight whines coming from the animals in their pens. Jared thought about freeing Sadie but then decided against it. He didn’t know how Jensen would react if Sadie wanted to curl up with him. Jared stared at the connected sleeping bags. He should unzip them apart.

He should.

But he didn’t.

He pulled open the bag and motioned for Jensen to join him. The hood shook. “Beast sleep on floor.”

“Yeah. Probably he could. But I want Jensen to sleep in the bag.”

Jensen hesitated and then slid in, tucking himself to one side. Jared noted the hood stayed on and sighed. “I’m going to take some pain killers. You need anything?”

Jensen said no and Jared returned to the bathroom to down the pills Alona had left him. He hoped these weren’t too strong. He wasn’t used to painkillers and sometimes these things made him loopy.

Reentering the sleeping room he hit the light switch. The exam room was in the interior of the shelter. They were swathed in inky blackness. Last night he’d tripped on the way to the sleeping bag and only Sadie’s quiet noises had guided him.

“Hey, Jen, say something so I can find you, okay?”

“Wh-at?”

“Talk so I find the bag.”

“Here. This way come.”

“Whoa!” Jared bumped into something hard and put his hand out. A few more steps and his foot felt the thickly padded lining of the sleeping bag. “Okay. Think I’m here. Can you see me at all, maybe guide me down?”

“No. Too dark. Less than shadow. But follow voice?”

“Yeah. I can do that. You have a great voice. Anyone ever tell you that?”

Jared could have sworn he heard a blush. He smiled and settled down, hip brushing Jensen’s as he lay beside him. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Jensen repeated.

Jared wiggled. Fuck, he was sore. He shifted off his sore hip and laid facing Jensen in the dark.

“Hurt?” Jensen asked. Jared must have moaned. He didn’t realize he’d been whining aloud.

“Yeah. Some. You?”

“Pulls.”

The simple word reminded Jared of the knife slashing through the air aimed at him until Jensen leapt in front of it. It had struck Jensen’s chest a few inches away from his heart. Jared could be staring at him in a morgue right now. Seeing his face for the first time, dead.

He lifted up on his elbow and felt around quickly. Before he could stop himself he pulled Jensen’s hood down. Jensen stiffened and grabbed Jared’s wrist. Jared shook it off. “No. You will let me see you one day. It’s too dark now. You’re safe. But you will let me, Jensen. You could have been killed … you jumped in front of that knife …” His voice broke.

A hand cupped his cheek, warm and firm. “Not let hurt … ”

Jared raised his hand slowly, seeking Jensen’s face. Soft hair against his fingertips. Warm breath caressed his face. Nothing but black surrounded him as Jared focused all his perceptions to his hands. He didn’t know how much Jensen would allow so Jared kept his fingers barely there … ghosting over Jensen’s face.

He had shaven. The skin was smooth but still textured. Male. It had been a long time since Jared had felt this in such an intimate way. He worked his way down until his thumb landed on soft fleshy skin. Wow. Jensen’s lips felt full and soft and …

Jensen sighed and his mouth closed gently on Jared’s thumb. The slight sucking sensation went straight to Jared’s groin like a heat-seeking missile. His head felt fuzzy and he knew the meds were probably kicking in but in that second nothing existed but the fire flaring deep in his belly.

He put both hands on each side of Jensen’s face and pulled him closer until their lips met. Soft, like a marshmallow and sweet and moist and Jared brought his teeth together and tugged at that fullness feeling it bunch and then slide against his own.

Holy crap. He was so hard, so fast he couldn’t remember the last time his body reacted like this. Didn’t know if he’d ever reacted like this. He licked along the part in Jensen’s lips, coaxing, begging, his breath high in his throat. So hungry.

Jensen growled -- a deep, throaty sound that vibrated his stomach and shifted Jared from hungry to fucking starving. He opened his mouth and took.

Jensen’s tongue moved against his in quick darting bursts, rolling and sucking and seeking. He shifted until he was partially on top of Jared as they were cocooned in the sleeping bag. Jared stroked his hands down Jensen’s back then worked his way inside the jacket from the bottom. Too much was between them. Too many layers. He pulled the zipper down and slid the jacket down Jensen’s shoulders and mercifully it was off and then his hands roved under the edge of Jensen’s tee-shirt to clutch at solid, defined muscle.

Jensen angled his head to deepen the kiss, grazing Jared’s tongue and lips, alternating between long sucks and lazy strokes and tiny, playful bites. Jensen’s hands tangled in Jared’s hair, then moved lower and tugged at Jared’s scrub top until Jared pulled back and yanked it over his head, ignoring the flare from his battered ribs as he did so. Warm hands stroked his chest, splayed over his heart. Jensen moved his lips from Jared’s face and licked a trail from Jared’s chin, suckling on his Adam’s apple before moving lower and brushing his lips over Jared’s nipples.

The wet heat made Jared gasp. Teeth started biting on his chest, nipping just this side of painful and fuck that felt good. There was something wild and harsh and unbridled about Jensen’s movements. A mouth clamped back over his nipple and sucked hard, an almost desperate whimper coming from Jensen’s throat.

Then Jensen inhaled sharply and placed his ear on Jared’s chest. He stayed there. Still. Listening to Jared’s rapid heartbeat.

Jared’s head was cotton and bees buzzing and a happy, giddy, wild high that he hadn’t felt since his school days when illegal substances had been involved. His hands moved on their own, tugging Jensen back up, kissing him again deep and dirty, pressing against him urgently to increase the friction.

He ran his hand down Jensen’s chest and grabbed the bottom of the tee-shirt. “Take this off.”

Jensen shrugged the shirt over his head. Jared felt him hovering, straddling him. Jared wished for a sliver of light, just so he could see. He knew how beautiful Jensen’s body was by the feel of those defined muscles, the hollows of his abdomen. The sharpness of his hip bones. Jared sat up and ran his hands over Jensen’s bare torso in the dark.

His fingers grazed the bandage and stopped. Despite the darkness he shut his eyes. Voice tight he asked, “Does it hurt?”

Jensen lifted Jared’s hand away from his wound and placed it against his cheek. He shook his head ‘no’ into Jared’s palm.

Jared kept his hand on Jensen’s face. “You … you shouldn’t have … if he’d stabbed you a couple of inches over, it would have hit your … “

A firm hand cupped Jared’s face, thumb running down his cheek, hovering over his lips. Jared opened his mouth and sucked the tip of Jensen’s thumb as Jensen had done earlier to him. “Do again,” Jensen said before lowering down to kiss him. Jared didn’t know if Jensen wanted another kiss or was saying he’d dive in front of a blade again but those too-perfect-to-be-real lips met his again and he was lost.

Jensen’s tongue sought entry as he panted Jared’s name and licked his way into his mouth. The need buried in Jensen’s touch surged through Jared. How long had it been since Jensen had experienced intimacy with anyone? How long since Jensen had even been able to pleasure himself? How long since he’d been allowed any release? He was so hungry, so vulnerable. The tiny part of Jared that was still rational was fighting for attention. Wrong, it was shouting. He was taking advantage. He should stop.

He remembered how Jensen’d looked when they met.

His fingers came away wet from Jensen’s cheek.

“Jen?” Reality fought with the drug-enhanced desire in his system. “Do you … want this? Do you like men?” Even as he asked he knew this was ridiculous because he’d felt Jensen’s arousal against him, knew he was as turned on as himself.

“Don’t … Too much … Not touch long time. So long. But … want … want Jared.”

Jensen buried his face in Jared’s neck and settled deeper between his thighs, bringing his cock into contact with Jared’s through the thin material of the scrub pants. Jared rocked back, all hesitation gone. Jensen’s hips were rutting desperately now, writhing and grinding downward, sliding their dicks together in a harsh, fast rhythm. Jared brought his arm down and kneaded Jensen’s ass, urging him on.

“Jen. Yeah. Like that. So good.”

“Ohohoh,” Jensen puffed into his ear, tongue moving against his lobe.

Jared thrust up. “It’s okay, Jen, let go, I got you … you’re safe.”

Jensen exhaled his name and kept his lips open, sucking  into Jared’s neck as he came in long, hot spurts, that went on and on, body shuddering as if a charge was put through him. Feeling Jensen come apart, tossed Jared over his own edge and his climax ripped out of him a moment later, pulling Jensen into a final kiss of that fabulous mouth as he trembled hot and sweaty beneath Jensen and a sticky wetness filled his pants. He held Jensen tight as he slowly came down.

“Wh .. at?” Jensen murmured again and Jared wasn’t sure what he was asking and thought maybe he didn’t know what had just happened.

“Jen, it’s okay. You’re okay. You just … had an orgasm.” He chuckled slightly. “Um, me, too.”

Jensen rolled off him and Jared sensed as Jensen put his hand between his own legs, touching the moisture. He turned back to Jared. “No, not ask that. That good, so good.” Jared could feel Jensen’s smile. “Who? You say and then … He … he does not …”

“Who are you talking about? He doesn’t what?”

Jensen shook. Put a hand on Jared’s chest and let it lay there. “Confused. Beast confused.”

Fuck. They weren’t back to that again. “Hey. Enough with that.” Jared reached out and pulled Jensen to him again, running his hands up his body. Stopping again at the bandage too damn close to his heart.

“I know beautiful when I feel it.” He raised up and started ghosting his lips along Jensen’s face again. He knew he was spaced out and tired but he’d be damned if he could feel anything wrong about Jensen’s face. He hadn’t really known what to expect … thought maybe scarring, that he’d feel puckered skin like from a burn. Of course, maybe he was just homely. It was impossible to tell by touch. Blind people did it, but Jared wasn’t blind. Try as he might his fingers just weren’t giving him an image.

The only thing Jared knew for sure was that he didn’t goddamn care.

He reached over and found his discarded scrub top, using it to wipe himself off as best he could before handing it to Jensen to do the same.

“Jay?” Jared smiled upon hearing the nickname. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why Jared kiss Bee-uh, Jensen?”

Jared stiffened a moment. “Did you not want me to kiss you?”

Jensen sucked in air in an almost laugh. “Want Jared. Want Jared a lot. But why--?”

Jared’s eyes were weighed down like something was clamping them closed. Between his orgasm and the painkillers his mind was shutting down. He yawned and pulled Jensen toward him. “You wanna know why I wanted you?” he asked more slur than words.

Jensen snuggled closer and Jared felt his head nod. Jared didn’t have one answer and his mind was a swirling fog. “How could I not?” he asked finally before sleep pulled him in.



Jared groaned as he shifted his sore body against the unyielding tile floor. Ugh. Everything hurt. Why was he so damn achy? He didn’t recall going to the gym. He turned his arm expecting to feel Sandy’s soft curves and jumped.

Jensen.

Everything returned in a mad rush and Jared fought to keep air in his lungs. What had he done? His heart pounded at the memories of angry men circling him, striking out, the bat connecting with his hip. The knife slicing through the air. Blood oozing. Mind numbing fear that he was going to lose … Jared jerked upright. He remembered what had happened after.

Jensen lay on his side, facing away from Jared. The light was dim but Jared made out short hair, precise color impossible to tell in the shadowy interior of the shelter. His eyes adjusted and more became clear. A slight curve of ear, a hint of cheekbone. Jared needed to see. He leaned over to get a full view, but his movement made Jensen stir and turn, eyes fluttering open.

A wide stare met Jared’s stunned gaze.

“Holy fuck!”

Jensen sat up with a start. Immediately he buried his face into his knees and started rocking madly, making a keening noise.

Jared gulped air. He hadn’t meant to frighten … it’s just … He forced his mind to work. “Jensen,” he said more agitated than he wanted. He sucked in another breath and tried to slow down. “Jen, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I shouldn’t have … it’s just, you surprised me. I didn’t expect … I mean you kept saying … so I thought … “

Jared reached out very slowly and feather light touched Jensen’s hand. A soft growl came out and Jared felt the sadness to his bones. “I’m so sorry. How could you--? Oh, god, who did this to you?”

Ignoring whether it would be accepted, Jared came closer and took the other man in a sideways embrace. There was a moment of stiffening before Jensen’s head dropped on Jared’s shoulder. “It’s okay. I didn’t mean to yell. God, Jensen, how could you think - Jensen, look at me … please.”

Jensen shook his head no and buried himself deeper, pressing his chin into his chest.

Jared tried again. “You’re so wrong. I knew you’d be wrong, but I had no idea … “

Jared twisted out from inside the sleeping bag and settled himself in front of Jensen. Slowly he put his hand under the other man’s chin and firmly lifted up. Huge eyes beneath girlishly long eyelashes locked onto Jared’s. Again Jared was struck breathless, and he let out a helpless laugh.

“God, Jensen, you’re the most beautiful human I’ve ever seen.”

Full, bowed lips twisted into a frown. Didn’t matter. Nothing marred that face. High cheekbones, strong chin with a slight cleft. Even, perfect features. Morning stubble and disheveled hair only added to that walked-off-a-billboard look. Nutty thoughts flitted through Jared’s mind. Maybe Jensen was a model that had some sort of accident and lost his memory? Maybe he came from another planet where pretty was ugly and vice versa? Maybe he was Marilyn Munster in disguise?

Jared laughed again and he knew he was just about this side of hysterical but really could he be blamed? The hottest man on the planet was sitting in front of him frowning like Jared was crazy. This? This was hidden in that hoodie all that time? Thoughts of last night returned and Jared’s stare darkened. Oh god.

“Laugh at Beast,” Jensen accused, turning his head.

Jared stared at him. Perfect profile. He was still sitting with his knees raised, partially blocking what he could now see was a pretty magnificent looking chest. Jesus, was there anything not scorchingly hot about this man? The desire to see all of him, naked, laid out before Jared flushed through him, heating him from the inside out. But then his eyes glimpsed the white of the bandage and his body instantly cooled.

His hand reached out and fingered the skin near the wound. Jensen looked down at this and tracked Jared’s movements.

“No hurt,” he said although Jared hadn’t asked.

Jared’s lips twisted in a half smile. “I wasn’t laughing at you,” he said after a moment. “You’re gorgeous.” Jensen looked like he was about to protest again but Jared kept going. “I don’t know why you don’t know this. Why you believe otherwise. Who told you were ugly?”

Wide eyes met his again. “The witch.”

“Who was she?”

Jared wondered if this was his mother? If he’d been abused …

Jensen looked confused a moment. His brows crinkled together. “Old woman. Curse.”

Jared stared back, also confused. Someone cursed at him? But then reason took over. It didn’t matter how Jensen came to believe he was a beast. The more important part was that he stop believing it. Jared’s mission in life was to make that so.

“C’mere,” he said, putting his hand out to help Jensen up.

Standing, Jared palmed Jensen’s cheek. He smiled when Jensen leaned into his touch. Jared knew they had a connection, hell, that had been there since the first minute. But touching … made it easier. He pulled Jensen into a hug. Bare chests touching, Jared fought back the stir he instantly felt. Still holding Jensen’s hand he walked him slowly over to the light switch.

Leaning in, he whispered, “May I?”

Jensen shook a second, body tensing under Jared’s one-armed grip. After a very long moment Jensen nodded minutely. Jared didn’t wait for him to change his mind and flicked the overhead on. A slight crackle and then … Jared swallowed down another gasp.

A thousand details he’d missed in the murkiness came to brilliant clarity. Like a light being shined on a Renoir, the shadows and highlights reflected back at him to produce this breath-stealing visage. Freckles. A smattering over Jensen’s nose and cheeks that glinted against translucently pale skin like gold dust. And his eyes. This shocking brilliant green that reminded Jared instantly of the woods he loved to traipse and explore and lose himself as completely as he felt himself drowning now.

Jensen tilted his head slightly up and met his eyes. “Jared not scared?”

Jared bit back another nearly hysterical laugh. It was just too absurd. He was scared. Frightened that the feelings that were already out of control were now truly on a runaway track. “Jensen,” he replied when he found his voice again. “I’m many things right now. Scared isn’t quite at the top of the list. Unless you count scared of how I’m supposed to keep my hands off of you.”

A pink blush slightly colored Jensen’s too pale skin. He got more handsome which Jared would have thought impossible. But suddenly he imagined Jensen’s skin warmed by the sun, maybe a little more weight on a frame almost too thin and the mental image burned. God. Was there such a thing as too beautiful?

Jensen stepped back with a puzzled look and ran a hand over his chin. “But … monster?”

“You’re not a monster. Whoever told you this … they lied to you, Jensen.”

He met Jensen’s eyes again taking in that deep sadness. There were flecks of gold inside the green. Maybe it was simple. Maybe if you are treated like a beast long enough you start to believe it. Jared outlined Jensen’s face again with his fingertips. He remembered doing this in the dark. He shut his eyes.

“Jen. I knew you were beautiful before I ever saw you. That has nothing to do with what you look like.” He opened his eyes again and forced himself to ignore the tears tottering on Jensen’s lower lids. He had to get this out. “That’s why I …. care about you so much.”

“Jared beautiful,” Jensen said, a tear rolling slowly down his cheek. “Jensen never forget.”

“Forget what?”

There was no answer. A voice called out from outside. “Jay?”

Jensen jumped away, scrambling frantically for his hoodie jacket. In seconds it was back on and he was hidden from the world. Jared felt the loss like a physical punch. He called out to Alison. “I’m in the exam room. Give me a few minutes to get dressed. Don’t come back here until you see me, okay?”

“No problem.”

Jared approached Jensen. “We can take turns showering and after I feed the animals I’ll run out and get us some breakfast.”

Jensen nodded.

Jared gently pulled the hood down filling himself with another long look. “Alison won’t come back here. I promise. Hide from others, for now, if you have to, but not from me. Please?”

“Jared not yell. Not scared.”

Jared smiled and gave in to what he’d wanted to do since he’d first seen Jensen. He cupped each side of Jensen’s face and pressed their lips softly together. That incredible tingle raced up his spine. Jensen’s mouth opened tentatively and Jared quickly deepened their connection. So good. Warm and moist and pillow soft. Licking slow and thorough into each other, sharing breaths like ebbing currents. Kissing Jensen filled Jared in a way he didn’t even know he’d needed. It was passion and hunger and belonging.

It was home.

Jared let go reluctantly, felt Jensen’s fingers pressing into his back as they pulled apart. “I know,” he whispered, burying his face in Jensen’s neck for another moment.

Jensen disappeared back into his hoodie and sat on the sleeping bag waiting for Jared to finish with the shower. Jared put their dirty clothes in the old washing machine but waited to start it until Jensen’s shower was turned off. He took care of the animals. Jensen was still in the little washroom.

“Jen?”

“Damn-OW!”

Jared approached the shut door. “You okay?” He heard another muffled sound and turned the door knob. Jensen was standing with his back to the sink and looked like he had cut himself shaving. Jared’s eyes flew to the mirror. He shut the door behind him. “It would be much easier if you’d look at yourself while doing that.”

Jensen looked at Jared, eyes wide, “No … mirror no.”

“Why Jensen?”

“Ugly. Ugly … can’t … “

Jared sighed. “Jensen. You are so far from ugly. Turn around. We’ll look together.”

“No! Monster. Inside. Outside. Will see. No!”

Jared used a tissue to wipe away the spot of blood on Jensen’s otherwise perfect cheek. He took the razor from Jensen’s hand and slowly finished shaving him. Jensen allowed it with a soft sigh. When done, he wet a hand towel with warm water and wiped Jensen’s face clean. He was struck again with how breathtaking Jensen was. Movie star good looks and yet afraid to look in a mirror. Living on the streets. Barely able to speak. Maybe he just hadn’t seen himself cleaned up in a long time?

He leaned in again to capture Jensen’s lips, feeling the soft skin beneath his fingers. Jared had shaved, too, and he felt Jensen sink deeper into him, angle his head to deepen their kiss. Not letting up the soft slip-side of his tongue against Jensen’s, Jared spun them around slowly until they were both sideways to the mirror. He pushed back a hair and swallowed hard. “Jen … “

Jared looked sideways and caught their shared reflection. The world stopped a moment because seeing them locked in each other’s arms stole Jared’s breath. Jesus, they belonged together.

And then Jensen screamed.

Raw, guttural, pained snarls were mixed with words thrown out in staccato bursts as he tore himself away from Jared. “Beast. Ugly. Bad. Ugly … ugly. Thing. Monster … “ He brought his fists up suddenly to pound at his reflection in the mirror.

Jared reacted as quickly as he could, grabbing Jensen’s hands before he could hurt himself. “Stop. Jensen. Please.”

Alison shouted to them. “Everything okay? What’s wrong?”

Jensen yanked free and pulled the hood back. He peered out at Jared, eyes wild and unbridled. Jared reassured Alison. “It’s fine. We’re fine. Jensen’s here with me. He … we’re fine. Just give me another minute.”

Jensen was snarling in short puffs. Jared blinked because for a second in the yellowish light of the bathroom Jensen’s countenance did take on a menacing quality. His eyes went full gold and his grimace was tight and wild. The growl didn’t help. Jared took a step back instinctively and Jensen stood taller. There was something almost triumphant in his stance.

Jensen’s head jerked up and those fierce eyes were meeting Jared’s head-on, daring him to see the beast. Jared had no doubt most people took one look and ran as fast as they could. Good thing Jared wasn’t most people.

Full Texan in place, Jared drawled, “Uh-uh, buddy. Nice try. Ain’t working.”

One quick step and Jared pinned Jensen back against the bathroom door pushing the hood off and running his hand along the back of the other man’s head, tangling his fingers in the hairs at the nape of Jensen’s neck. He leaned in tight and whispered words against Jensen’s face, lips brushing soft skin between each one.

“You … “ Nip. “are … “ Lick. “not a … “ Kiss. “beast.”

Jensen let out a soft moan that was decidedly less scary. Jared snaked his tongue into Jensen’s mouth and kissed him slow and sweet, panting into each other until he felt the other man melt against him as his tension drained. Jared pulled away when he sensed Jensen was back from wherever horrid place that mirror had taken him.

Jensen buried himself in Jared’s shoulder. “S … sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize.”

“Scare Jared.”

Jared met Jensen’s eyes again. They glowed a mossy green but the sunlight sparkles remained. His beast was merely tamed. It was far from gone. “You didn’t scare me. You don’t scare me. I … don’t know what happened to you. Who the witch was. But she lied to you. That thing you see. That’s not you.”

Jensen squirmed uncomfortably at this. His shuttered look retreated to a dark place with invisible demons. Jared swore at that moment he would do whatever it took to defeat those inner monsters locking Jensen away from seeing himself. Jared held his hands on Jensen’s shoulders. “Look at me.” He waited until Jensen met his eyes, held his gaze. “Forget mirrors. Jen, you want to see yourself, look in my eyes.”

Jensen’s mouth parted slightly at this. His breath coming fast. He stared like he was trying to see into Jared’s soul. “Jen?”

“He … he. Jared? I … I … “

Jensen’s eyes rolled up and back, he went limp and Jared could not keep him upright. Before Jared could blink Jensen tumbled to the tile floor in a thud.



artwork by apieceofcake
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