I Went to Arizona, and All I Got Was This Lousy Peace…

[sandykidd]

Originally published at Kay Holt. You can comment here or there.

Hard to believe, but some distant corners of the internet still have not heard that my father died. On Tuesday July 6th 2010, he blew himself away after a three hour standoff with a SWAT team. Those of us dad left behind are grateful he didn’t take anyone with him. However, I may laugh

Comments

[wood_artist]

Death is sometimes billed as a release: from a life-ending illness that features pain, from a prison, both literal and figurative, or from hell on Earth, self-inflicted or brought by others. The same could be said for those who surround the deceased, for their demise may allow both healing and moving on. As you observed, for you, your father was gone a long time ago, and this finale was, in truth, just the denouement of play who's action ended many scenes and hours ago.

Love, on the other hand, is so difficult to define that it defies any attempt at description. In a way, you still loved your father, just not in "the way" that others might recognize or acknowledge. You both had reached a point where you knew what to expect, and your relationship was framed within those boundaries. His death, although perhaps not anticipated on a given day, was no surprise, and his choice of exits was, as you observed, made years ago. He was on that road for years, simply examining each off ramp to see if this was the one he actually wanted to take.

Kay, I'm glad you understand these things, for I would hate to see you devastated by events that have been so well planned. Despite the fears that others have of you, hopefully they can witness your own happiness, built upon the foundation of your life with Bart and Baz, and discover that the yardstick of success is not a one-size-fits-all that sold at Wal-Mart. Each of us seeks a life based upon our own values and desires, integrates our own abilities, and ultimately, when it works right, provides for our happiness. The Declaration of Independence said that we all have the right to pursue happiness; it did not mandate that we all must get in the same line to do so. Ultimately we all need to realize that there is a phrase that defines this culture, and that we cannot judge others by our own interpretation.

Different strokes for different folks.

*hugs*

Craig

[sandykidd]

You read me well, Poobah.

*hug*