Venting - Some people never cease to amaze me in how inappropriate they are...!
I have had to deal with more family in the past week then I have in I can't remember when. My mother passed away last Sunday the 21st and I have been dealing with planning the funeral and somehow managing to get through the funeral which was yesterday. I do have an older brother but he does not deal with illness or death well at all so beyond writing a check for the funeral (Thank God for that!) and actually showing up for the calling hours and funeral he really took no part in things like greeting people at the calling hours, saying anything to anyone there unless "confronted" directly, etc. So I had to kind of take point or whatever you would call it at the funeral home which plays hell with my social anxiety. But all four of my daughters were there and my best friend drove four hours to come be there for me (we have been best friends for 35 years and she is amazing!). I know I said I was venting and so far am rambling.... I guess this is helping me realize that there were some good things. I struggled horribly with writing the eulogy but I guess it must have been okay, several people - even my brother - commented on how they liked it. I am happy with myself that I was able to deliver the eulogy without breaking down. The funeral home, once they found out that mom was a veteran, arranged for an honor guard and they did the whole flag draped coffin, two military officers, playing taps and presenting the flag. I always thought that only happened if someone was killed in a war or something but I guess not. It was really nice and I really think my mom would have loved it - she was extremely proud of her time in the army and she was actually attached to the Pentagon working for Gen. Maxwell D. Taylor and who was the Army Chief of Staff at the time and also in the secretarial pool that supported the president (JFK) in the West Wing. Anyway, the honor guard was very nice and my brother stepped up at the last minute to stand with me when they went to present the flag. I had offered the flag to him when they first brought this up (he was Navy for 6 yrs) but he said no but then guess he changed his mind.
Anyway - the part that I want to vent about is that even before the funeral and then again today people are already worrying about what they can get or wanting something of Mom's. Now what's kind of funny about this is not only is there no inheritance AT ALL Mom's house is in foreclosure and she was up to her ears in debt and died in a nursing home that Medicaid was helping pay for. My mom was married twice - once to my dad who she was only married to for 5 yrs and they were both miserable, and the second was to my stepdad who was a truly amazing guy and the love of her life! However most of his 7 kids from his first marriage are selfish idiots and always treated my mom like dirt. The one exception was a truly wonderful guy who tragically died 6 years ago scuba diving off Nova Scotia. Somehow these people are talking about getting "their due" and I don't even know what that means - it's not like my mom got some big inheritance when my stepdad died 20 years ago. I was surprised that any of them even came to the calling hours - two of the daughters and the widow of the son who died. The only thing that I have for them is pictures and a rosary that had been passed down in their family. Then today my aunt (who thankfully lives in Texas) and some cousins came over to go over photographs because they want to try to get some pictures of their father, my uncle that they did not grow up with. So we are at my mom's house and both my female cousins are talking about pieces of furniture they would like and then later my aunt is talking about what I should sell, what I should do with things, trying to take over. My mother's will is very direct. Everything (this is when she thought there would be the house or maybe some money) is to go to myself and daughters - my brother told my mom that he has his business and a house and was okay on money and everything should go to me. So what little furniture there is or knick knacks - no one has any claim to it. I guess I could almost see fighting over things if there was anything to fight over but my mom had nothing of value. And to start this the day before and the day after the funeral - I mean how low do you have to be to try to act like that. It was all I could do to just get through this horrible day and people have to act this way. What are wrong with people???
Anyway, if anyone actually read this - thank for listening! Just needed to try to get this off my chest so I stop being angry about it. Hopefully the stepsiblings I don't hear from again and my aunt has gone back to texas and my cousins - who knows - I will scan the photos and put them on dvd's for people (I did put my foot down and wouldn't let anyone actually take pictures but told them to put initials on the backs of photos they wanted and I would scan them and send dvd's. I have their addresses and can mail them once I have it done. So maybe this is the end???
Anyway - the part that I want to vent about is that even before the funeral and then again today people are already worrying about what they can get or wanting something of Mom's. Now what's kind of funny about this is not only is there no inheritance AT ALL Mom's house is in foreclosure and she was up to her ears in debt and died in a nursing home that Medicaid was helping pay for. My mom was married twice - once to my dad who she was only married to for 5 yrs and they were both miserable, and the second was to my stepdad who was a truly amazing guy and the love of her life! However most of his 7 kids from his first marriage are selfish idiots and always treated my mom like dirt. The one exception was a truly wonderful guy who tragically died 6 years ago scuba diving off Nova Scotia. Somehow these people are talking about getting "their due" and I don't even know what that means - it's not like my mom got some big inheritance when my stepdad died 20 years ago. I was surprised that any of them even came to the calling hours - two of the daughters and the widow of the son who died. The only thing that I have for them is pictures and a rosary that had been passed down in their family. Then today my aunt (who thankfully lives in Texas) and some cousins came over to go over photographs because they want to try to get some pictures of their father, my uncle that they did not grow up with. So we are at my mom's house and both my female cousins are talking about pieces of furniture they would like and then later my aunt is talking about what I should sell, what I should do with things, trying to take over. My mother's will is very direct. Everything (this is when she thought there would be the house or maybe some money) is to go to myself and daughters - my brother told my mom that he has his business and a house and was okay on money and everything should go to me. So what little furniture there is or knick knacks - no one has any claim to it. I guess I could almost see fighting over things if there was anything to fight over but my mom had nothing of value. And to start this the day before and the day after the funeral - I mean how low do you have to be to try to act like that. It was all I could do to just get through this horrible day and people have to act this way. What are wrong with people???
Anyway, if anyone actually read this - thank for listening! Just needed to try to get this off my chest so I stop being angry about it. Hopefully the stepsiblings I don't hear from again and my aunt has gone back to texas and my cousins - who knows - I will scan the photos and put them on dvd's for people (I did put my foot down and wouldn't let anyone actually take pictures but told them to put initials on the backs of photos they wanted and I would scan them and send dvd's. I have their addresses and can mail them once I have it done. So maybe this is the end???