School!
Classes start tomorrow and I'm excited. I went to an advisory meeting in my dept. for my major (which is secondary math ed if you'd like to know). I felt so at home. I know I'm in the right field.
I think I adjust quickly, but at the same time, I had never felt so alone and depressed as I did on Saturday. I wanted to die, no joke. I wanted to crawl in a hole and cry. I missed everyone so badly and the weird thing was I missed mike when I hadn't missed him when I never saw him in Indy. And it wasn't like I missed him because I like him but rather because I missed him for his friendship. I miss talking to him like we used to be able to do. How did we lose it? I have an inkling of what caused it but I don't wanna be the judge of that. It's not my place. I just hope that after a while, after we both adjust to our own college experiences, that maybe we can regain our friendship like we had during the summer. He honestly became my closest guy friend and I don't want to lose him because it hurts too much. I don't know if he'll read this or not or who will read this, but I am not trying to hide how I feel. I became a "softer" person this summer as Nikki would like to say. I stopped trying to front and be so tough. Being tough is not who I am anymore and I'm just trying to get adjusted to being sincere.
I think I adjust quickly, but at the same time, I had never felt so alone and depressed as I did on Saturday. I wanted to die, no joke. I wanted to crawl in a hole and cry. I missed everyone so badly and the weird thing was I missed mike when I hadn't missed him when I never saw him in Indy. And it wasn't like I missed him because I like him but rather because I missed him for his friendship. I miss talking to him like we used to be able to do. How did we lose it? I have an inkling of what caused it but I don't wanna be the judge of that. It's not my place. I just hope that after a while, after we both adjust to our own college experiences, that maybe we can regain our friendship like we had during the summer. He honestly became my closest guy friend and I don't want to lose him because it hurts too much. I don't know if he'll read this or not or who will read this, but I am not trying to hide how I feel. I became a "softer" person this summer as Nikki would like to say. I stopped trying to front and be so tough. Being tough is not who I am anymore and I'm just trying to get adjusted to being sincere.