Before things change: When worlds collide
When worlds collide
Disclaimer: The characters and other things from The Chronicles of Narnia don’t belong to me (sadly). Credit goes to those who do own them.
He stayed away from her. It was easier than he thought it would be to avoid Susan. Oh, he’s hurting but he found the ache to be a familiar feeling. The kind that he seemed to have learned to live with even when his mind tells him this is the first time there’s been significant distance between them.
John’s head was swimming with all the questions and after three days, he had less answers. He kept going back to the word ‘Telmarines.” It was a strange word, certainly not one he’s picked up from a book, yet it seemed natural on his tongue. The moment he said it something in him clicked into place. He felt closer to unlocking his own mind, the subconscious that spoke only in slumber.
He questioned once again his memories, weighing it against everything-from his apathy to the history of his own country to his detachment from his family. It made little sense to him that he felt more at home next door than in his own room.
And then there was the question of Susan, the subject he was both eager to dissect to the core and yet afraid to even begin to understand. He knew it was too fast and his feelings defied reason, maybe even logic. He can count on one hand the times they’ve spent alone together. But somehow it was enough to feel protective of her, to feel the need to see her happy and to become the man he knew she deserved. Out of all the distractions he had lain before him, of this he was sure-he loves her without reservation or condition.
John took a deep breath and sat down on the swing that was much too small for him. Every afternoon since he came to this place and waited for the boy. He laughed inwardly at his blind faith that Adam held the answers he sought. At first, he assumed that he was playing along with the boy’s story for the sake of kindness but he found himself absorbed in the tale.
He imagined a world that was both grand and simple. A land ruled by peace and justice, standing still in beauty that no one could match. In his mind he saw Cair Paravel with its thrones and the great lion Aslan standing before all of Narnia. It was a story he wanted to believe to be real but something he also feared for it meant that he was one of those banished from Narnia. The disgrace would surely make his less than worthy for someone like Susan.
John shook his head. He had a theory, one he felt rang truer each time he was around her. She was a queen, this he felt and almost addressed her as such on more than one occasion. Her obvious grace and strength were enough to have him hold her high on a pedestal but there was something else about her that made him believe without question.
“Did you run away too?”
John looked up in surprise and found his new friend before him. Adam had scrapes on his knees and had tears in his eyes. The young boy fidgeted with the clasp of his small suitcase as he waited for John to answer him.
“Well not really. I was just hoping to see you so I came here.” John said honestly. “Now, before I ask you the same question, let’s wash up your knee first.”
Adam nodded, his small hand wiping away the rest of his tears, and held out the other hand for John to take. At first the small boy limped, his steps considerably smaller, so John picked him up and carried him to the nearest water fountain. Adam immediately placed his arms around John’s neck and embraced him tight. John felt a tug in his heart. It felt like second-nature to him to be around this child.
He set down Adam and cleaned the wound with water and the small bit of soap the boy packed. He smiled at the contents of the suitcase-two sets of clothes, crackers, soap and a comb.
“You can have the crackers if you’re hungry. I don’t mind.” Adam said offering his hero a piece.
“No, that’s quite alright.” John said with a smile, “Now, what’s this about running away.”
Adam stared at the ground and refused to look at John as he answered, his bottom lip protruded in a pout.
“Mother said that I’ll be sent to boarding school when I’m of age and they’ll teach me there that there’s no such thing as Narnia.”
John nodded solemnly, “But that is years away, there’s no need to worry about it yet.”
“I’m going to find Narnia and prove to them it’s real. No school will change that” Adam said crossly.
John stood up and held out a hand to Adam, “So how do we find this place?”
Suddenly the young boy laughed and laughed, tears once again streamed down his face as he did so.
“You’re silly!” Adam exclaimed
“Why so?” John said truly confused
“You’re the one who is supposed to know that way!” Adam said matter-of-factly
“Me?” John said sitting down again
“That’s what the lady said. Don’t you have the key with you?” Adam said pointing to his neck
John took out the necklace from his shirt and Adam smiled at him. “This is just an old necklace. I doubt this actually opens some door to another world.”
“But it does!” Adam said jumping up
“Say it does what you claim it can do. I still don’t know where the door is. You’re going to have to tell me more to guide me.” John said
Adam went up to him and peered curiously at his face. “You really don’t remember anything? But the other day you knew what you were!”
“I know nothing more than that word I’m afraid.” John said gently, noting the crestfallen expression on the young boy’s face.
“But we’re family. How can you forget family? Even if my real father was never truly kind to you, surely you must remember something?” Adam said hopefully
John tensed at the word. Logic dictated that it was not possible but something in his being felt that familiar sensation of something falling into place. Adam spoke the truth.
“What do you mean?” John said, his voice hoarse from the effort of saying even those few words
Adam’s lower lip trembled and he began to sob again. He was upset and lost. His cousin was supposed to help him back to Narnia. He did not want to go to that horrible boarding school.
John saw how tired the young boy was and that he needed to get home. He scooped up the boy in his arms and rocked him gently until the crying subsided into small hiccups.
“Tell you what, if you let me bring you home now I’ll try and figure out how to find Narnia for you. How’s that?” John said
“Promise?” Adam asked
“Promise.” John replied.
They walked silently to Adam’s house, which it turned out was only a block away from the park. John knocked at the door fully expecting the sullen nanny from the other day to welcome them. Instead it was a face far more familiar that greeted them.
Adam’s mom picked up her son, smothering his face with kisses and thanking John for having found the boy.
“Oh thank you! I thought we’d lost him. How can I repay you?” she said
John merely shook his head, at a loss for words, shocked that the woman elicited the same feelings from him as Adam did. The puzzle in his mind was nearing completion. It needed just one last trigger.
“Come! I’ll show you my room!” Adam said, suddenly full of energy, motioning for John to follow him upstairs
“Oh I don’t know…” John said looking at the boy’s mother who merely nodded at him, giving her consent.
John went up the steps after the excited Adam and found himself in a room with walls covered by countless drawings of what he could only assume to be Narnia.
To his right, John saw the picture of a beach framed against the silhouette of a castle atop a cliff. Beside it was the picture of a lion on what seemed to be a stone table. Another one showed one of the queens receiving a small bottle with liquid in it from Father Christmas. Then there was the picture of two kings playing chess, followed by another with them fighting side by side.
But it wasn’t that part of the room Adam wanted to show John. He pointed to another set of pictures arranged in perfect sequence, from birth to images that held everything he wished to know.
John looked at the maybe slowly or maybe even all at once. The images before him collided with the flashing recollections in his mind-of his dreams or of the reality he could no longer ignore.
“Professor, tell me about the kings and queens of old again! Please?”
“No, my father can’t be dead!”
“Yes, Uncle Miraz, as you wish.”
“Five more minutes…”
“My uncle has always wanted my throne.”
“You would hold me accountable for all the crimes of my people?”
“Tonight for once I want the truth! Did you kill my father?”
“I do not think I am ready”
“I will look after it until you return.”
“I wish we had more time together.”
His hand flew to the key that hung around his neck as his vision swam as he rapidly connected one story to the next, seeing more than what Adam could illustrate. The necklace now felt as heavy as his heart as the truth settled in his being. He lost track of time as he remembered each moment as it truly existed in the back of his mind, unearthing the dusty volumes suppressed by the lack of magic in this world. In that moment, his entire existence made sense again. He finally understood and he still wished for more time with his queen.
Adam tugged John’s hand gently and waited until he got the older man’s attention. “You can take them if you like. If it will help you find the way…”
“No,” he replied.
“You know who you are now?” Adam asked
“Yes.” Caspian replied.
He sat down on the bed and patted the spot next to him for Adam to follow suit.
“Narnia is real. How you’ve come to know of it the way you do is not something I can explain nor will I try to even understand. I only know that without you I would have been lost far longer and maybe forever. Thank you. But Adam, this is your world now. Narnia must remain hidden from you until such time it calls you. Live your life with your mother, make her happy and be a family. Promise me that you will be a better man than your father.”
Adam nodded solemnly. “Do I have to go away to boarding school?” he asked worriedly
Caspian smiled at the boy and ruffled his hair. “I don’t know but you must trust your mother to do what’s right and what will be best. She loves you, just remember that.”
Adam reached out and gave Caspian a final embrace before the king left him.
“Will you say goodbye before you go back?” Adam asked
“I promise Adam. I promise.”
Susan didn’t pretend she fully understood John’s reasons for staying away. She could only assume that he felt confused and needed time to sort himself out. It made sense. It was her feelings that didn’t. Part of her wanted to run next door and help him sort it all out. But the logical and more dominant part of her knew that it was not her place.
They really weren’t that close. He was only her neighbor. He was barely even a friend. These were the facts as plainly as she could put them. The only problem was these ignored the fact that he seemed to know a word only someone who had ever been in Narnia would know. This was the part where she would begin to dream about something she had barely allowed herself to hope for.
She always began with his eyes, reasoning that she’d seen that look before. They were expressive and always, no matter what she did, they always held concern for her. Then there was the way he spoke to her. They were neighbors but he always regarded her to be someone important, as if he knew who she was once a queen. He respected her and was a true friend, even when she pushed him away.
“It never would have worked anyway.”
She wanted to believe that she was wrong and this was what ‘working out’ meant. She wanted to be right. She wanted the nightmare of believing he had moved on and was living the life she dreamed for them with another woman. She wanted to love him and it didn’t matter which world they lived in.
Susan looked out of her window to see the person in question walk somberly to his house. His gait was determined but his face showed that he was tired. Her heart ached for him, the way it did once when she watched a son confront the killer of his father. He opened the gate but before going in he looked up and met her eyes.
And she knew. It was written clearly in his eyes. The answers he found were hers as well and now she held it in her heart, she could not move.
They held on for that moment in time, accepting the truth for what it was. For now, she needed no reasons or explanations. She only needed this to be real.
Caspian was the one who broke the spell first, offering a small smile for his queen before pushing the gate all the way in and disappearing into the house.
Susan closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her hand brushed against something that jolted her back into the harsh reality they faced. She picked up her ticket and ran a finger down the piece of paper, lingering on the date stamped on it.
They had one day and she didn’t know how they can make it last.
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