Feeling hopeful
So, this is me journaling. Even though I'm a writer by trade, I have avoided putting my racing thoughts onto the page/screen, perhaps from a fear that seeing them written will make them more real. Rewrite: I have avoided writing my thoughts because I'd rather lie to myself than acknowledge some of my difficult truths.
But, I proclaim that I am now officially too old for that bullshit. I think it's fair to say that 2016-2017 have been shit years in a lot of ways, and it's been all about change. BIG change:
PTSD-triggered breakdown
Short-term disability and seven weeks of psychiatric treatment
Separation from spouse
My own apartment
Shared custody of younger son
Older son moved into university dorm
Gender issues
Sexuality
Loss of community
Watching the world crumble, flood, and burn
Politics and war
Loneliness
Honesty
Neurofeedback and other therapy
I imagine I will be writing about all of this, in no particular order. Looking at the list fills me with unnamed, jumbled emotions, but I'm hopeful because even making that list is a bit start.