Okay, so this connection is hating upon the uploading. It took me for-freaking-ever to get this to work, but. Have the current draft of Cold as a bit of consolation on your first day back at school.
Hands on his shoulders, gentle shaking. "Blaise." Theodore's voice. "Blaise, wake up."
Blaise opens his eyes and blinks a few times, looking up at Theodore. "What is it?"
"Come see."
He nearly closes his eyes again, but resists the impulse and rolls a bit reluctantly out of bed. It is an ungodly hour of the morning, the horizon only just barely starting to lighten; the light casts odd blue shades on Theodore's pale skin as he leads Blaise down toward one of the streams, very quietly. Look, his eyes say, and he gestures slightly towards the opposite bank. It takes a moment for Blaise to spot it, shifting and flickering amongst the foliage- a Demiguise, pale light glancing off its silvery fur in odd, shimmering reflections. He stills, careful not to startle it.
When Blaise wakes, the first thing he notices is Aislinn is no longer lying pressed up against him; the space she had been in when they fell asleep is cold. Then the sharp-dark smell of charcoal; he opens his eyes. Aislinn is sitting at the foot of the bed, still undressed, a pad of drawing paper in her lap.
"Good morning," Aislinn murmurs, eyes on the page in front of her. Her fingers are black with charcoal both from holding it and smudging it across the page to shade, and there is a smear of it along one cheek, probably from pushing her hair back. Blaise watches her, still, until the swift movements of her hands cease and she sets the drawing and the charcoal aside. She crawls back up to him, resettling herself against his side, and her fingers trace along the lines of his chest, charcoal smears deepening the shadows on his skin.
I love the lines you added to the Daph/Blaise bit. <333 details.
The last scenes are beautiful. You've built up such an achingly fragile mood, such tenderness, and god, the very last scene almost looks like it's leading to a sex scene.
You get better and better at writing Blaise. There are more and more phrases where I ust think yes, right on, that's him.
The 'I won't' in the scene where Blaise is injured is a really bold thing to do, and he would only ever do that with someone he was in love with, and only because he knows Theo knows it isn't true. But, I really like how it works.
I don't know what goes after that line of Theo's in the opening Brazil scene, though. Blaise's reaction, and how the scene will close. I don't want to end it there.
Yeeah, I'm aware that was a risky dialogue choice, but, idk. It seemed to click pretty well.
Best of luck, darling. Hope it goes well. ♥
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Hands on his shoulders, gentle shaking. "Blaise." Theodore's voice. "Blaise, wake up."
Blaise opens his eyes and blinks a few times, looking up at Theodore. "What is it?"
"Come see."
He nearly closes his eyes again, but resists the impulse and rolls a bit reluctantly out of bed. It is an ungodly hour of the morning, the horizon only just barely starting to lighten; the light casts odd blue shades on Theodore's pale skin as he leads Blaise down toward one of the streams, very quietly. Look, his eyes say, and he gestures slightly towards the opposite bank. It takes a moment for Blaise to spot it, shifting and flickering amongst the foliage- a Demiguise, pale light glancing off its silvery fur in odd, shimmering reflections. He stills, careful not to startle it.
Theodore smiles, and takes his hand.
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When Blaise wakes, the first thing he notices is Aislinn is no longer lying pressed up against him; the space she had been in when they fell asleep is cold. Then the sharp-dark smell of charcoal; he opens his eyes. Aislinn is sitting at the foot of the bed, still undressed, a pad of drawing paper in her lap.
"Good morning," Aislinn murmurs, eyes on the page in front of her. Her fingers are black with charcoal both from holding it and smudging it across the page to shade, and there is a smear of it along one cheek, probably from pushing her hair back. Blaise watches her, still, until the swift movements of her hands cease and she sets the drawing and the charcoal aside. She crawls back up to him, resettling herself against his side, and her fingers trace along the lines of his chest, charcoal smears deepening the shadows on his skin.
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I love the lines you added to the Daph/Blaise bit. <333 details.
The last scenes are beautiful. You've built up such an achingly fragile mood, such tenderness, and god, the very last scene almost looks like it's leading to a sex scene.
You get better and better at writing Blaise. There are more and more phrases where I ust think yes, right on, that's him.
The 'I won't' in the scene where Blaise is injured is a really bold thing to do, and he would only ever do that with someone he was in love with, and only because he knows Theo knows it isn't true. But, I really like how it works.
You're just good. <3333
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I don't know what goes after that line of Theo's in the opening Brazil scene, though. Blaise's reaction, and how the scene will close. I don't want to end it there.
Yeeah, I'm aware that was a risky dialogue choice, but, idk. It seemed to click pretty well.
<33
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