My subject line is lonely for your subject line

[sandra__bullock]

I fear I'm running out of ways to occupy myself and pass the time. I've felt like I've needed to keep myself busy for fear of just standing still, but yet, I think I've done everything I possibly can and there's no way to keep this from happening soon. In the past few weeks, I've organized, redecorated a little, took care of errands I had been

Comments

[k_reeves]

that was not a boring post, but it was one of the most thought provoking on my friends page.

I hate that I've begun to analyze everything and fail to let myself just go with the flow like I used to

as painful as it is to stop and focus on every detail, perhaps it can be beneficial. i mean, it might help in realising what's wrong so you can work to improve it, resolve it somehow.

It is our nature to seek happiness, but yet, I've noticed that many people convince themselves that finding happiness is as impossible as being able to fly.

we all have these doubts, no matter how hard some of us work to push them away so we can take the risks that might lead us to be happier...but past experiences where that happiness was eroded linger on and people dwell on those and believe that happiness is not something that can be achieved. it's understandable but it only hinders us in the long run.

regret can be one of the most destructive emotions. but can we really live a life without regret? without wondering if we had done things differently perhaps the outcomes would have been better? we can't eliminate regret (if there is a method in doing this, let me know ;)), no matter how much we try, but like you said...we have the potential to make things better for ourselves. provided that we have the support of people who want what’s best for us.

i know i took out sections of your post to comment on but i agree with a lot of what you said in your post. i'm sorry i rambled so much in this comment ;) i hope you're ok sandy.

[sandra__bullock]

Thank you for your reply. And no, you did not ramble. Everything you said made perfect sense and I was happy to see your face on the reply.

Unfortunately, I'm not doing too well right now, but I know that it's only a matter of time until I am okay.

It should get easier to turned down. It's certainly happened enough. But it doesn't, and now that it's happened again, it hurts even more than before. I don't understand why I don't deserve happiness. I've done everything in my power to find it, and when I finally do, I can't have it only because the man I want is too afraid/confused to face his own feelings. It's all one big mess, and as selfish and as stupid as it sounds, I just want someone to care. Not as just a friend, but as a lover. I want to be wanted. I want love. You know I've never been one to sit back and wait for things to happen, and I think that's why I'm having such a problem now that I'm being forced to do so.

[k_reeves]

i'm not completely sure what's going on as i haven't been around here much, and sadly i haven't spent actual time recently catching up on things with you, but i hope you do feel better soon sandy.

it doesn't sound stupid. we all chase things that we feel might fill up the empty spaces. sometimes they do, and other times they leave the spaces wider. but it's always worth the shot.

some things take time, some people need time and while they're looking for some solace, maybe it's better to give them some space...but let them know that you're there if they ever need anyone.

[sandra__bullock]

Thank you, that means a lot to me.

I think you have just said exactly what I would have told someone if I was the one giving the advice. You're absolutely right, and I wish it was easy to take your advice and put it into play. Unfortunately, I think it's going to take time. Time. I hate that word. Why is everything about time?

I really miss you, and your recent comments have caused my mind to travel back to old days on set and to laughter and memories we both share. We need to catch up, and I could really use a good friend right now. Do you think It'd be alright if I gave you a call?

[Do you have AIM?]

[k_reeves]

i know it's used far too often, but there is some truth in time heals. i know it doesn't feel like it right now, and that it never does when you're the one going through it...but with time, things do change and people get easier to let go of. as sad as that sounds.

i've missed you too sandy. you don't have to ask before calling me. i'm back in los angeles so we'll catch up if you want.

[yes, yes i do. sorry, i hadn't realised that it wasn't up on the user info. lj k reeves]

[sandra__bullock]

Again, you've taken the words right out of my mouth. I cannot thank you enough. I will repay you, however. I don't know how just yet, but I will.

I don't know how I ever let our friendship disappear, having this conversation now has made me realize how long it truly has been. I know a part of that is because of our hectic schedules, but I'm going to try harder to keep in contact with you. And you can be expecting a call later tonight. :)

[Alright, mine's Sorta Sandra.]

[k_reeves]

you don't have to repay me, i'm here whenever you need to talk.

i'm partly to blame for our friendship slipping. so much has been going on, the work front and on the personal side of things but it's good to be talking to you again.

we'll still go for the yoga together

[thanks :)]