A tribute
So, I recently had another person who is near and dear to my heart tell me that they think it's best if we don't talk. Devastating, just simply crushing. I hate it. And you can't really argue with someone who says they feel it's best not to talk to you. You can just sit back, ask why, hope they answer then let them know that you will always be ready to talk to them if they ever change their mind about you. In my experience, sometimes they come back, but more often life gets in the way.
But, today is not a day to dwell on the sadnesses of friends gone away and astray. Today is a day to focus on the great people in my life. Yeah, cause I'm egotistical that way and all.
My mind has a tendency to polarize things. I'm not a huge worrier, and I think the way my mind works is the cause of that. Faced with tragedy I almost always collect my thoughts and count my blessings. So, as I sat and contemplated the loss of a friend whom I love, I couldn't help but think of the great friends that I have - friends who, in some cases, I go monthes and monthes without talking to them. Friends who welcome me back with open arms, open hearts and smiles. Friends who have, in the past, sacrificed much for me, worthless though that help was to them. Friends for whom I am determined to sacrifice, but seem to never let it materialize. Because, though I like to think I'm a good friend, in alot of ways, I am neglectful.
So, here it is. Kind of in list format. Not in any particular order, just how they came to mind.
J-bomb, you were the first one to pop into my mind. I think that you are one of the best friends I have ever had, and I could never ask for anything more. You are loyal, and fiercely so! You have sacrificed for me so many times in the past that I can barely recount them all. You honor me constantly, giving me respect and props that I did not necessarily earn. You are generous to a fault, with both your time and your resources. And I am saddenned to think that I havn't seen you in 9 monthes. I missed your graduation, I missed your birthday, I missed a chance to celebrate your engagement with you at New Years. Not for lack of effort on my part, but still, when the rubber hit the road, I failed to be there to celebrate in your joy and your success. I am sorry for that my brother. You have been great to me, and I have not. I thank you for the gifts you have given me, and more for your gift of friendship than anything else. I look forward to the day when we can be together to celebrate the successes in your life together. I miss you.
JMac is another name that is often on my mind. Dude, Jmac, I rarely go to bed without thinking of you atleast once. Wow, that came out kinda gay. But it's true. The happiest night of my life were the ones when we would go to bed at about the same time, and one of us would ask a question or make some goofy comment which would launch us on a conversation. No one I have ever met has had the unique ability to make me laugh like you. Your kindness to me is unmatched, and your willingness to critique me when you saw things you didn't like is a trait I still admire. I haven't seen you in...more than a year, and though saddenned, I know that you are happy where you are, and I look forward to each and every one of the conversations we have, be they verbal or textual.
O-Town, I miss you too man. I haven't really talked to you in more than 2 and a half years. I miss the easy comradoury that we used to share back when we were young, immature, and atleast I was stupid.
Nathan, a better man I've never met. A more devoted and caring man I've never met. Your willingness to do the right thing has been an inspiration to me, though I normally find myself shying away from following in your example. My cowardice rules my life while you continue to be a shining beacon. Though I get to see you moderately often, I still miss you my brother. I miss the days of being able to see you and test your remarkable mind on a daily basis. It is because of people like you that my mind developed. Your brilliance rubbed off, atleast in part, on me and made me better for it.
Man, the list could go on for days! JJ, my voice of reason for years. Katie Ricca, my older, wiser sister. Darla, the sweetest person I've ever met. Rifka, a Wild man with a sense of adventure I could only envy. T3, my closest Foundation friend for so long, now lost to me. Slinky, without whom my computer would probably be sitting in a pool of water while I scratch my head and wonder why it isn't working. The Screen is bubbling Slinky, it's bubbling!!! Dan Conner, my favorite hick, and a man whose love for the truth knows no peer. Kinyon, the most passionate aggressive man I've ever met. Brandon Carl, the smartest man I've ever met. Kevin Oakley, the Heart of Stone who found room for a worthless group of Frosh. Brady, Grandpa to a whole generation of Foundation men. Jared Sandel, my idol, whose footsteps I faithfully followed. Matt Gin, the man always willing to ask the hard question. So many friends who I rarely, if ever, talk to anymore, and this is hardly a comprehensive list.
To all of you, mentioned and unmentioned, I owe thanks. A debt of gratitude for the time and love you gave to me, for the acceptance and sacrifice. For all you've given and all I've taken, I say thank you.
But, today is not a day to dwell on the sadnesses of friends gone away and astray. Today is a day to focus on the great people in my life. Yeah, cause I'm egotistical that way and all.
My mind has a tendency to polarize things. I'm not a huge worrier, and I think the way my mind works is the cause of that. Faced with tragedy I almost always collect my thoughts and count my blessings. So, as I sat and contemplated the loss of a friend whom I love, I couldn't help but think of the great friends that I have - friends who, in some cases, I go monthes and monthes without talking to them. Friends who welcome me back with open arms, open hearts and smiles. Friends who have, in the past, sacrificed much for me, worthless though that help was to them. Friends for whom I am determined to sacrifice, but seem to never let it materialize. Because, though I like to think I'm a good friend, in alot of ways, I am neglectful.
So, here it is. Kind of in list format. Not in any particular order, just how they came to mind.
J-bomb, you were the first one to pop into my mind. I think that you are one of the best friends I have ever had, and I could never ask for anything more. You are loyal, and fiercely so! You have sacrificed for me so many times in the past that I can barely recount them all. You honor me constantly, giving me respect and props that I did not necessarily earn. You are generous to a fault, with both your time and your resources. And I am saddenned to think that I havn't seen you in 9 monthes. I missed your graduation, I missed your birthday, I missed a chance to celebrate your engagement with you at New Years. Not for lack of effort on my part, but still, when the rubber hit the road, I failed to be there to celebrate in your joy and your success. I am sorry for that my brother. You have been great to me, and I have not. I thank you for the gifts you have given me, and more for your gift of friendship than anything else. I look forward to the day when we can be together to celebrate the successes in your life together. I miss you.
JMac is another name that is often on my mind. Dude, Jmac, I rarely go to bed without thinking of you atleast once. Wow, that came out kinda gay. But it's true. The happiest night of my life were the ones when we would go to bed at about the same time, and one of us would ask a question or make some goofy comment which would launch us on a conversation. No one I have ever met has had the unique ability to make me laugh like you. Your kindness to me is unmatched, and your willingness to critique me when you saw things you didn't like is a trait I still admire. I haven't seen you in...more than a year, and though saddenned, I know that you are happy where you are, and I look forward to each and every one of the conversations we have, be they verbal or textual.
O-Town, I miss you too man. I haven't really talked to you in more than 2 and a half years. I miss the easy comradoury that we used to share back when we were young, immature, and atleast I was stupid.
Nathan, a better man I've never met. A more devoted and caring man I've never met. Your willingness to do the right thing has been an inspiration to me, though I normally find myself shying away from following in your example. My cowardice rules my life while you continue to be a shining beacon. Though I get to see you moderately often, I still miss you my brother. I miss the days of being able to see you and test your remarkable mind on a daily basis. It is because of people like you that my mind developed. Your brilliance rubbed off, atleast in part, on me and made me better for it.
Man, the list could go on for days! JJ, my voice of reason for years. Katie Ricca, my older, wiser sister. Darla, the sweetest person I've ever met. Rifka, a Wild man with a sense of adventure I could only envy. T3, my closest Foundation friend for so long, now lost to me. Slinky, without whom my computer would probably be sitting in a pool of water while I scratch my head and wonder why it isn't working. The Screen is bubbling Slinky, it's bubbling!!! Dan Conner, my favorite hick, and a man whose love for the truth knows no peer. Kinyon, the most passionate aggressive man I've ever met. Brandon Carl, the smartest man I've ever met. Kevin Oakley, the Heart of Stone who found room for a worthless group of Frosh. Brady, Grandpa to a whole generation of Foundation men. Jared Sandel, my idol, whose footsteps I faithfully followed. Matt Gin, the man always willing to ask the hard question. So many friends who I rarely, if ever, talk to anymore, and this is hardly a comprehensive list.
To all of you, mentioned and unmentioned, I owe thanks. A debt of gratitude for the time and love you gave to me, for the acceptance and sacrifice. For all you've given and all I've taken, I say thank you.