A Joke
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. The passion starts to heart up and eventually she says, 'I don't feel like it.'
'WHAT??!!' I exclaim, 'What does that mean?'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet hates to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that I was getting nothing that night, I went to sleep. The next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out for a nice lunch and then shopping at a big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different, and yet equally expensive outfits. She couldn't decide between them, so I told her we'd just buy them all. Ofcourse, then she wanted new shoes to compliment her new outfits, so I told her that she ought to splurge and get a new pair of shoes for each new outfit. Afterwards, we went to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a diamond tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that this would be fine as well. She was nearing an almost sexual satisfaction from all of the excitment. Smiling with anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I couldn't hardly contain myself as I blurted out, 'No honey, I just don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT??'
I then said, 'Honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. But you're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy for you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either (or maybe ever again), but atleast the bitch knows that I'm smarter than she is.
'WHAT??!!' I exclaim, 'What does that mean?'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet hates to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that I was getting nothing that night, I went to sleep. The next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out for a nice lunch and then shopping at a big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different, and yet equally expensive outfits. She couldn't decide between them, so I told her we'd just buy them all. Ofcourse, then she wanted new shoes to compliment her new outfits, so I told her that she ought to splurge and get a new pair of shoes for each new outfit. Afterwards, we went to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a diamond tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that this would be fine as well. She was nearing an almost sexual satisfaction from all of the excitment. Smiling with anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I couldn't hardly contain myself as I blurted out, 'No honey, I just don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT??'
I then said, 'Honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. But you're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy for you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either (or maybe ever again), but atleast the bitch knows that I'm smarter than she is.