Hard Day's Night
So what I wanted to do last night after QAL rehearsal was spend 90 minutes on the phone with my project manager (except just the opposite of that).
See, our project timeline is so tight that I had to pull in my team to do the Needs Analysis and subsequent report back to the client (it was originally supposed to be a team lead-only task). Except that the report I got was not only late, it was a travesty.
She had two examples-completed by me and approved by the client-to point her in the right direction. Since it's all the same client, a lot of the verbiage still applies. And yet, she included all kinds of irrelevant information, and did so with egregious grammar and sentence structure errors.
I mean, they observed new hire training and were tasked with creating a plan to make it standardized and scaleable. So why are you gonna take up a whole page describing everything that happened in the existing class? They KNOW that. How does anything other than a 1 paragraph summary help anything?!?
Examples ('cuz I swear I can't make this crap up):
"Overall the Underwriter training is very good however, it and the documentation need to be refined and restructured."
Before getting into some of the several challenges a newly hired QA Underwriter has, one of the most important items that [CLIENT] should address, is that Underwriters do not have access to all the system applications they need for the first day and while going through the first week or two of training.
Using the phrase "turning them loose" when referring to transitioning new hires from training to performing job tasks (Gah! So colloquial and unprofessional!)
And isn't it basic for writers to know that lists should be parallel in structure? Why you gonna use "codify" for the verb in one, and follow up with "be able" on the next? And the next is apparently verb-optional.
There's more, but I had to stop looking lest my brain try to liquefy and flee out my ear canal...
Hear that gurgling sound? It's my will to live circling the drain. So much passive voice that I feel my vital bodily functions willing themselves to shut down.
*headdesk*
I tried to triage the document, but it had to be turned in for QA by close of business yesterday. My project manager called at 8:50pm (while I was still in rehearsal) to say she wanted to work on it some more; I called her back on the way home.
She made some additional changes, and I called her back to go over them. We were on the phone from 9:45pm - 11:30pm getting into a presentable form.
So at 7:50 this morning when my team member asks me to please send the document we're (and by "we" I mean "I") presenting to the client today ay 1:30. I had to reply that we had to do significant rewrites for focus, grammar, and sentence structure. She shot back that she was really surprised. She prides herself on turning in a perfect document.
*headdesk x 2*
Fortunately, the PM is going to spend time coaching her. I don't have time. I'm already behind on 2 other documents (kind of hard to do a design document when the template keeps changing). And frankly, I couldn't keep my composure. Not everyone has strong writing skills, and that's OK... EXCEPT WHEN YOU WRITE FOR A LIVING!
So done. So very, very done. Especially with faire prep, and QAL CD cover art design and packing up every gorram thing I own...
... maybe if I replace all my bloods with Red Bull?
Seriously. Some days there's just not enough whiskey in the Western Hemisphere.
I'm waving a white flag at The Universe.
See, our project timeline is so tight that I had to pull in my team to do the Needs Analysis and subsequent report back to the client (it was originally supposed to be a team lead-only task). Except that the report I got was not only late, it was a travesty.
She had two examples-completed by me and approved by the client-to point her in the right direction. Since it's all the same client, a lot of the verbiage still applies. And yet, she included all kinds of irrelevant information, and did so with egregious grammar and sentence structure errors.
I mean, they observed new hire training and were tasked with creating a plan to make it standardized and scaleable. So why are you gonna take up a whole page describing everything that happened in the existing class? They KNOW that. How does anything other than a 1 paragraph summary help anything?!?
Examples ('cuz I swear I can't make this crap up):
And isn't it basic for writers to know that lists should be parallel in structure? Why you gonna use "codify" for the verb in one, and follow up with "be able" on the next? And the next is apparently verb-optional.
There's more, but I had to stop looking lest my brain try to liquefy and flee out my ear canal...
Hear that gurgling sound? It's my will to live circling the drain. So much passive voice that I feel my vital bodily functions willing themselves to shut down.
*headdesk*
I tried to triage the document, but it had to be turned in for QA by close of business yesterday. My project manager called at 8:50pm (while I was still in rehearsal) to say she wanted to work on it some more; I called her back on the way home.
She made some additional changes, and I called her back to go over them. We were on the phone from 9:45pm - 11:30pm getting into a presentable form.
So at 7:50 this morning when my team member asks me to please send the document we're (and by "we" I mean "I") presenting to the client today ay 1:30. I had to reply that we had to do significant rewrites for focus, grammar, and sentence structure. She shot back that she was really surprised. She prides herself on turning in a perfect document.
*headdesk x 2*
Fortunately, the PM is going to spend time coaching her. I don't have time. I'm already behind on 2 other documents (kind of hard to do a design document when the template keeps changing). And frankly, I couldn't keep my composure. Not everyone has strong writing skills, and that's OK... EXCEPT WHEN YOU WRITE FOR A LIVING!
So done. So very, very done. Especially with faire prep, and QAL CD cover art design and packing up every gorram thing I own...
... maybe if I replace all my bloods with Red Bull?
Seriously. Some days there's just not enough whiskey in the Western Hemisphere.
I'm waving a white flag at The Universe.