Red Star Rising
Tuesday night was a string of perfect moments, back-to-back-to-back. (I know, I know... when I am Enlightened I will realize that they are *all* perfect, but until I am that smart, I will simply say that I was more aware of the perfection of Tuesday.)
Met with MomJudy and two new friends-L & L-who worked with Jimmy at the CD store. Those of you at his memorial may remember them as those who dedicated a star to him. (It rises on his birthday and is high overhead on the day he left us.) To continue the symbolism and further honor his memory, we got red star tattoos ('cuz if he were a color he would certainly be red). Ogie already had one, as did L & L, so Judy and I make 5. (We should totally form a punk band: Red Star Quintet.)
Caleb at Saints and Sinners did the honors. They have a new location in Oak Cliff's Bishop Arts District (♥ that area!), so there was quick window shopping of funkiness before heading down the street to The Quinn to toast the occasion... and seal the bond of friendships old and new.
As we said to Ogie... aaaaah, the smell of fresh ink wafting over a Guinness...
We relaxed on the patio, sharing memories and stories and basking in the mutual love of our sweetest friend. MomJudy was right... he would love that we're still close, and that he's brought even more people together.
I knew the Powers That Be smiled upon us when most of the patio patrons had cleared out, but one lone girl apppeared. She couldn't help but overhear the conversation, and commented that we were having a great girls' night out. We asked her to join us, and when she asked about the occasion we shared the story, including the date of his birth... which just happens to be hers, too. It felt like a benediction, grace from the great unknown.
"Forever" was queued on my CD player when I reluctantly got in the car to head home. I opened the moon roof and sang along at the top of my lungs. Something about that song in that moment felt perfect, though I couldn't decide if I was singing to Jimmy, or he was singing to me. There were things I'd want to tell him in those lyrics, but certain other parts rang true as things he would say to me.
No matter... we communed on some level in our spirits then. And it was perfection (the kind that may or may not have included commingled tears of joy and sorrow).
Forever
~ Bruderschaft
I don't believe in the existence of mercy's guiding hand...
Not with all that I have witnessed, I cannot understand.
Forever burdened with the knowledge that I could have been so much more
When the truth is hard to suffer, I knew this all before.
There is no comfort in faith, the heavens still will fall.
A thousand towers rise before me and I cannot climb them all.
There is no kind of joy in this, there is no time that it can heal,
When emptiness enshadows bliss, there is nothing left to feel.
I have not abandoned hope, though I know there's nothing more.
Tired and alone, you forget what you hoped for.
I will walk this ground forever
and stand guard against your name.
I will give all I can offer,
I will shoulder all the blame.
I am sentry to you now,
all your hopes and all your dreams.
I will hold you to the light,
that's what forever means.
I was never what you wanted, I could never never please.
I swallowed all our sorrow in the midst of my disease.
All my fortunes, all my gains, all the battles I have won...
Now collapsing like the rain, I stand alone, your only son...
Take some solace in these words, take notice of this place.
Hollow whispers that they are, like the wind upon my face.
Sing softly in my ear and look at me with wonder.
I will try to ease your fear as the darkness pulls you under.
I will walk this ground forever
and stand guard against your name.
I will give all I can offer,
I will shoulder all the blame.
I am sentry to you now,
all your hopes and all your dreams.
I will hold you to the light,
that's what forever means.
Met with MomJudy and two new friends-L & L-who worked with Jimmy at the CD store. Those of you at his memorial may remember them as those who dedicated a star to him. (It rises on his birthday and is high overhead on the day he left us.) To continue the symbolism and further honor his memory, we got red star tattoos ('cuz if he were a color he would certainly be red). Ogie already had one, as did L & L, so Judy and I make 5. (We should totally form a punk band: Red Star Quintet.)
Caleb at Saints and Sinners did the honors. They have a new location in Oak Cliff's Bishop Arts District (♥ that area!), so there was quick window shopping of funkiness before heading down the street to The Quinn to toast the occasion... and seal the bond of friendships old and new.
As we said to Ogie... aaaaah, the smell of fresh ink wafting over a Guinness...
We relaxed on the patio, sharing memories and stories and basking in the mutual love of our sweetest friend. MomJudy was right... he would love that we're still close, and that he's brought even more people together.
I knew the Powers That Be smiled upon us when most of the patio patrons had cleared out, but one lone girl apppeared. She couldn't help but overhear the conversation, and commented that we were having a great girls' night out. We asked her to join us, and when she asked about the occasion we shared the story, including the date of his birth... which just happens to be hers, too. It felt like a benediction, grace from the great unknown.
"Forever" was queued on my CD player when I reluctantly got in the car to head home. I opened the moon roof and sang along at the top of my lungs. Something about that song in that moment felt perfect, though I couldn't decide if I was singing to Jimmy, or he was singing to me. There were things I'd want to tell him in those lyrics, but certain other parts rang true as things he would say to me.
No matter... we communed on some level in our spirits then. And it was perfection (the kind that may or may not have included commingled tears of joy and sorrow).
Forever
~ Bruderschaft
I don't believe in the existence of mercy's guiding hand...
Not with all that I have witnessed, I cannot understand.
Forever burdened with the knowledge that I could have been so much more
When the truth is hard to suffer, I knew this all before.
There is no comfort in faith, the heavens still will fall.
A thousand towers rise before me and I cannot climb them all.
There is no kind of joy in this, there is no time that it can heal,
When emptiness enshadows bliss, there is nothing left to feel.
I have not abandoned hope, though I know there's nothing more.
Tired and alone, you forget what you hoped for.
I will walk this ground forever
and stand guard against your name.
I will give all I can offer,
I will shoulder all the blame.
I am sentry to you now,
all your hopes and all your dreams.
I will hold you to the light,
that's what forever means.
I was never what you wanted, I could never never please.
I swallowed all our sorrow in the midst of my disease.
All my fortunes, all my gains, all the battles I have won...
Now collapsing like the rain, I stand alone, your only son...
Take some solace in these words, take notice of this place.
Hollow whispers that they are, like the wind upon my face.
Sing softly in my ear and look at me with wonder.
I will try to ease your fear as the darkness pulls you under.
I will walk this ground forever
and stand guard against your name.
I will give all I can offer,
I will shoulder all the blame.
I am sentry to you now,
all your hopes and all your dreams.
I will hold you to the light,
that's what forever means.