i'm busy =?= i don't like you

[sandhawke]

Awkward situation. A parent of a kid who knows one of my kids emailed me to arrange a playdate. But my kid doesn't actually like this other kid. The initial email was constrained to a time we were busy, so it was easy to just say that. But then the reply was, "okay, how about one of the next few weekends

Comments

Depends

[sweetmmeblue]

It really does depend upon the age. The older, the more it is the kids' issue to work out and make a decision.

[sandhawke]

So, forgetting that last bit, what does one respond to the parent who asked? "Have your kids ask my kid directly?"

[sweetmmeblue]

If the parent asks I say "I'll check with the kid on their plan and get back to you." If the kid says ok but discuss with the kid how to let the friend know that you aren't interested if that's their decision.

[sandhawke]

I think she'd rather have a kid she doesn't like come over to her house than have to endure the social awkwardness of saying no.

[veek]

That's what I end up doing most of the time, which is why I'm interested in what folks might say to your question re adults.

[sandhawke]

Alas.... not many responses.

3rd Extra Credit: discuss why there aren't many responses.

[moominmolly]

The fear of someone seeing through your polite responses, perhaps?

I have a different issue: I basically would happily hang out with most people one on one over coffee, but I'm beyond busy an terrible at scheduling and responding to people. So I think people self-select and decide I'm blowing them off when I'm not.

The very very small number of times I've done it on purpose with adults, I've said something like, "oh, this season is really busy. Perhaps I'll see you at (some really large event) instead?"