Andes mega-post...ish
I almost never post because, uh, I never have anything *to* post. Except I realized I actually did have some stuff laying around. :O
Title: Untitled
Author: glam_by_the_lb
Character/s: Andy Cartwright, Andrew Wainwright
Rating: PG
Medium: Crow-quill pen & ink, I believe.
Summary/Warnings: Pub?
Notes: Drawn for the first issue of the Sandford Archives way back, well, whenever that was.
Title: the Phone Call
Author: glam_by_the_lb
Character/s: Andy Cartwright, Andrew Wainwright, Tina
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2,044
Summary/Warnings: In which Andrew gets a phone call...
Notes: Written in under 24 hours for pornathlon back in March.
The phone rang loudly, the shrill sound jarring amid the quiet hallway of DS Andrew Wainwright's cottage. Andy could hear the phone from outside as fumbled with his key in the door lock, the key catching in the lock for the thousandth time and him thinking that it needed oil for the 999th. The phone rang again as Andy opened the door, but there was no sign of Andrew anywhere. Suddenly there was a dull thudding sound from the other end of the house. Andy tossed his jacket on the back of a kitchen chair and passed into the living room and then into the hall.
“Do you want me to get that?” he bellowed towards the thudding noise, which suddenly resolved itself into Andrew coming down the hall, wrapped in several towels, apparently just out of the upstairs shower.
“Do you want me to-” Andy began again, but Andrew shut him off.
“No, I'm here now,” he said, grabbing the handset off of the base and clicking the call on. “Hello?” he asked gruffly into the receiver. “Oh,” he said, voice brightening as he grinned. “Hullo Tina.” He winked at Andy. Andy, on the other hand, rolled his eyes, crossed his arms, and sighed as soon as Andrew turned away and walked into the extra bedroom which, for some unfathomable reason has been turned into a home office, never once used as such by Andrew, the cottage's only occupant.
Andy stalked back into the kitchen and grabbed two beers out of the fridge. He could still hear Andrew's voice coming from the office, a low familiar hum in the background. He walked up and down the hall a little, smearing the puddles from Andrew's passing into an even wider mess with the toe of his shoe. After ten minutes of hanging around like this, he started to get antsy. Approaching the office again, Andy could still hear the low murmur of Andrew's voice. The door was only half shut, so Andy stuck an arm through the gap, a beer in its hand. He wiggled the beer around a little, then poked his head through to see Andrew's response.
Andrew made eye contact with Andy and held up a finger. He'd be done in a minute. He gestured for Andy to come in. After opening and setting one of the beers down by Andrew, Andy opened his own and flopped down onto the couch that was against the perpendicular wall. He took a swig and set the bottle down and leaned back into the couch. Andy sighed and set his head on his arm on the arm of the couch and generally did his best to look bored and annoyed. This had to have been the longest non-work call he'd ever seen Andrew on, and with Tina no less. Andrew saw and shrugged, pointing at the phone and making “talking” motions with his free hand, rolled his eyes. 'Women,' he seemed to be saying.
“Yeah, yeah,” Andres seemed to keep saying over and over again. Andy picked up a magazine off of the low table in front of him and flipped through it, even though there wasn't anything of interest. Suddenly Andy heard Andrew cough and clear his throat.
“Uh, well... Er, what do you have on?” Andy's ears perked up, non-interesting magazine instantly forgotten. What the hell was Tina saying on the other end of that phone? Well...Andy had a few guesses, actually.
“Oooh,” Andrew murmured, voice going low. Over the edge of his magazine, Andy saw Andrew shifting around in his chair, scooting down and getting more comfortable. “Oh, I've just got on a couple of towels. You called while I was in the shower.” His voice paused. “Yeah, it is a bit chilly, actually.” Then Andrew's voice went low again, barely a whisper, and Andy couldn't hear what he was saying.
Gulping down the last of his beer, Andy stood up and approached Andrew's desk. Andrew had turned away from the couch in his chair and was mostly facing the back wall, but his beer was almost untouched, so Andy grabbed it from the desk and took a nice long swig. Setting the beer back down, he accidentally knocked a pair of scissors off the edge of the desk. Annoyed, he bent down to fetch them from under the front of the desk, which, given the piecemeal nature of the desk, happened to be a bit of tapestry hung between the top of the desk and the two side pieces. Holding the heavy cloth above him, Andy stuck his head and shoulders under the desk and felt around for the scissors. As he was doing so, Andrew turned his chair back towards the desk, giving Andy a rather clear view of what his partner had been up to while turned away: Andrew's hand rested at the top of his thigh next to a rather prominent bulge in the towel around his waist and Andy caught the words “suck,” “hard,” and “love it” in Andrew's half mumbled part of the conversation. The bastard was having fucking phone sex with Tina! Right in front of him!
Andy's eyes lingered on the towel, thoughts confused. He felt the scissors laying near his knee and tossed the buggering things out from under the desk behind him. He was slowly becoming more and more pissed off that Andrew was willing to do this in front of him. Sitting together and watching Tina strip was one thing, but getting off with her on the phone while Andy was just sitting around twiddling his thumbs was quite another. Andrew always ran the show, acted like it was his god given right and maybe it was when they were at the station, but they weren't at the station now and Andy was his own man and Andrew needed to start realizing that. Andy hesitated only for a moment before crawling farther under the desk.
Andrew chuckled throatily from above; Tina was apparently saying something of particular “interest,” which in turn caused Andrew to rub the edge of his hand along his erection. Andy took a quick, deep breath and went forward. Andrew flinched with Andy first touched him, not sure if his imagination was just being particularly powerful tonight. At the second touch, however, Andrew tried to pull back from the desk to see what the hell was going on, but couldn't make the chair move.
“Just a minute,” he told Tina over the phone. Then, covering the mouthpiece with his hand, he hissed down towards the desk, after first looking about to make sure there wasn't anyplace else Andy could be.
“What the FUCK are you doing?” Andrew whispered loudly and angrily. “Get the fuck out from there!”
“Piss off,” Andy replied and continued to move his hand up and down Andrew's penis.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Andrew replied, trying to pull away again, only to be kept in place by Andy's firm grip on his privates.
“Nothing. What the hell is your problem, though? Getting off with Tina while I'm just over there sitting on the bloody couch?” Andy replied, his grasp around Andrew tightening as his anger grew, although his hand had stopped moving.
“I didn't think you'd mind-- OW! Watch it!” Andrew growled, grimacing.
“S-sorry,” Andy said, relaxing and moving his hand again. “Shouldn't you be talking to Tina, anyway?”
“What? Oh,” Andrew replied, remembering the phone in his hands. He started to put the phone back to his ear, but paused. “Aren't you going to stop now?”
“Are you?” Andy nodded at the phone. “If you're not, then I'm not.”
Andrew glared and frowned at his partner, but finally put the phone to his ear.
“You never could resist a pair of tits,” Andy said under his breath.
“I'll deal with you later,” Andrew hissed before uncovering the mouthpiece and announcing his return to Tina.
And I'll deal with you now, Andy thought to himself before grabbing the edge of Andrew's desk with his free hand to pull the mostly still-toweled lap closer to him.
“Ooh, yeah,” Andrew was saying above. “No, keep telling me. Pinch it, pinch it haaard!” Andy rolled his eyes and pinched Andrew's thigh, causing him to start and yelp. “No, everything's fine,” Andrew assured Tina through the phone, shooting eye-daggers at Andy through the desktop. “I just stubbed my toe.”
Andy laughed and put his free hand over his mouth to keep from being loud. This gave him a great idea, though; just how many lame excuses could he wrench out of Andrew in order to explain why he was making sure interesting noises over the phone to Tina? There was only one way, given his current position under the desk, that Andy could think of to get truly unexplainable noises from Andrew. As much as Andy could never have expected to find himself in this situation, the drive to piss Andrew off was now so strong that he'd go through with even this (although it really wasn't much worse than what they'd done that summer when he was 17...).
Andy shifted until he was sitting on his knees and then moved in between Andrew's legs. He placed a hand on either of Andrew's knees and slowly ran his hands up the hairy thighs, pushing the damp towel out of the way as he went. Andy was hesitant when it finally came down to the big moment, but then Andrew voice sounded again, that arrogant, piss-ant, know-it-all voice, and Andy moved forward, taking Andrew's cock in his hands. After a few quick strokes, it firmed up, having apparently deflated somewhat during their verbal exchange. Licking his lips quickly, Andy leaned in and took the Andrew's head into his mouth. Andrew tensed and babbled something monosyllabic into the phone, looking down at the desktop in utter confusion. Andy, on the other hand, pushed on and took more of Andrew into his mouth.
He couldn't remember much of what had happened that summer as a teenager, they'd both been too drunk and too embarrassed after the fact, but he assumed it must have been something like this. Thinking of the past, Andy realized that his own pants were getting a bit tight. Grinning, as much as he could, deviously, he focused that energy into the task at hand got more energetic with his mouth, moving up and down along Andrew's shaft at a faster pace. The bastard was squirming now, too. How was he explaining this to Tina, anyway? Would he say that he was doing this to himself? He couldn't envision Andrew admitting to wanking over the phone, even if it was obvious and only to Tina.
Andrew's hips moved in time with Andy's mouth and somewhere along the line, Andrew's free hand had placed itself on the back of Andy's head. “Ooh yeah, just like that,” Andrew purred into the phone. Finally, just when Andy's jaw was starting to ache, Andrew tensed and cried out, a tinny voice on the phone called out as well, Tina presumably. Andrew kept his hand on the back on his partner's head, holding it, and the last of his quickly evaporating ecstasy, in place for as long as possible. Andy, sic of half-gagging on Andrew's cock, clawed at the hand on his head and crawled backwards out from under the desk, hurrying off to spit into the toilet.
Andrew relaxed back into his chair, legs spread, limbs feeling heavy and comfortable, one hand still holding the phone to his ear. “Yeah, no problem. We'll have to do it again sometime, definitely,” he said into the phone. “Thanks, Tina. See you.” He took the phone away from his ear, finger slowly moving up to end the call. “And that you, Andy,” Andrew said slowly, pressing the button.
Somewhere on the other side of town, Tina, lying naked on top of her duvet, vibrator next to her hip, clicked her phone off as well. “Andy?” She shook her head once. “What?”
Title: the Bright Idea
Author: glam_by_the_lb
Character/s: Andy Cartwright & Andrew Wainwright, with brief appearances by Nicholas Angel and Doris Thatcher
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2264
Summary/Warnings: I don't write one-shots, apparently.
Notes: Written in another country on an awkward (and aggravating) keyboard. Also, meant to be a follow-up to the follow-up of the previous story, except the middle story ended up half finished and abandoned. It did involve Andy getting bound in the kitchen with zip-ties, however.
Andy rubbed his wrist against the side of his leg as he entered the police station, trying, as indirectly as possible, to itch the welt from where the zip ties had cut into his skin the night before. He'd cut out early this morning before Andrew woke up and went back to his place to shower and put on some fresh clothes. The last thing he needed to do was show up to work in the same clothes as yesterday, rumpled, and smelling of sex. He would rather have as few reasons to be lectured by Inspector Twat today as possible.
Pausing in the hallway, Andy got some coffee from the beverage cart and went heavy on the cream and sugar because Tony made it today and Tony always makes it too fucking strong. He paused at Doris' desk and teased her for a few minutes before finally, gritting his teeth, he stepped across the hall and opened the door to his and Andrew's office.
Andrew was inside already, poring over some papers spread out on the desk. He looked up immediately upon hearing the door. "Oi!" he bellowed at Andy. "Tea!" he said, lobbing a box of tissues at Andy's head to emphasize the point.
"Piss off," Andy shouted back, rubbing his forehead where the box had struck him. "Let me have a drink of my fucking coffee, will ya?"
Andrew rolled his eyes and turned his attention, for the moment, back to the papers on his desk. Andy took a couple of drinks from his mug before setting it down and heading back out to get a tea for Andrew. He knew how the bastard liked his tea, having fixed it for him time and fucking time again - one teabag in a not-quite-full mug, steeped for 4 minutes, with a teaspoon of sugar and filled to the top with milk. Simple enough, yet Andrew always seemed to notice the slightest variation, including those times when Andy was thoroughly pissed at the man and allowed small amounts of various bodily fluids to find their way into the cup, mixed in well of course...
"Here's your BLOODY tea!" Andy shouted at Andrew as he reentered the office. He slammed the mug down onto a pile of magazines on the side of Andrew's desk, which drew a dark scowl from the intended consumer.
"Thanks for spilling half of it in the process," Andrew grumbled, licking up spilt tea from the sides of the mug as he brought it over his lap.
"If you're going to moan so much, why don't you just get it yourself next time?" Andy shot back.
"I prefer to hear you moan," Andrew replied, giving Andy a knowing look over the top of his cup.
"Wanker," Andy said under his breath, scowling.
"Now, now, Detective Constable," Andrew cautioned, not quite masking the amusement in his voice. "Insubordination is a reportable offense, and you wouldn't want me to report you to Inspector Angle, now would you?"
"What the hell crawled up your ass this morning?" Andy replied, trying to ignore his partner, but failing miserably.
"You, as I recall..." Andrew chuckled, taking a drink from his mug.
"Would you knock it off?" Andy protested, a hint of desperation creeping into his voice.
"When it bothers you this much? Hell no, it's too much fun!" Andrew grinned, leering down at Andy as he stood up from his desk. "Back in a 'mo," he said, keeping his eyes locked on Andy until the door to the office shut between them.
Andy breathed easy for a few minutes, savoring his coffee and reading his morning e-mails, but his respite didn't last long. Andrew reentered the office, grin still in place, apparently pleased with himself.
"What were you up-" Andy began, but Andrew cut him off.
"I told Danny to tell Angle that we're busy working on the McIntyre case today and if he wants that fucker cracked, then everyone'd best leave us alone. All day."
Andy began nodding his head in agreement, but then stopped. "Hang on, the McIntyre case is just a livestock kidnapping, which we shouldn't even be dealing with in the first place. And there isn't anything to finish on it, either. We already figured out it was just a misunderstanding..."
"Andy, Andy, Andy," Andrew sighed, coming up behind his partner and placing a hand on either of his shoulders. "Sometimes I forget that you can be thick as a post in the morning. Or anytime really."
Andy tried to glare up at his partner, but he couldn't turn his head that far, so he settled on glaring at the empty seat across from him. "What am I being thick about, then? Eh, Inspector Morse?"
Andrew bent down and put his mouth next to Andy's ear. "The fact that we won't be bothered in here...all day. The case is irrelevant. It's just a bloody excuse." Andrew's tone went from informational to lewd in no time flat.
"Oh," Andy nodded, finally getting it. Then he flinched from being tickled by Andrew's mustache. “What the hell are we going to do in here all day, then?”
Andrew leaned back and rolled his eyes. Then, spinning Andy's chair around, Andrew shoved his partner's face into his crotch. “How's about that for an activity?”
“Fuck off!” Andy protested, pushing Andrew's hips away from him. “I did that last night!”
Andrew crossed his arms and frowned. “I know, I can remember. But it is your turn, after all.”
“That's not bloody fair! I didn't have a fucking choice last night, did I? You tied me up with those bloody zip ties!”
“Methinks the lady doth protest too much, Andy,” Andrew purred, cocking his head to the side and raising an eyebrow.
“I hate you, you know,” Andy sighed.
“I hate you, too, Andrea,” Andrew grinned. “You and that pretty little mouth of yours.”
Andy shuddered.
“Come on. Come on, girl!” Andrew teased, backing up to and settling into his own chair and patting his thighs for Andy to follow like a dog.
“If you keep that up, I'm going to bit a piece of your cock off,” Andy threatened, but he still got up and followed Andrew around the desk. Andrew pointed under the desk, which caused Andy to become confused. “Why should I go under there? It's cramped and disgusting. I know what you do under your desk, remember?”
“What if someone walks in on us?” Andrew proposed.
“You just got done assuring me that everyone was going to leave us alone for the day, right? So why would anyone walk in on us?” Andy retorted in a mocking voice. “Not so sure of your plan now, are you?”
“Stop being such a wanker and get down there and suck me off, will you?” Andrew cried, exasperated.
Andy nodded and saluted his partner, then stooped down and crawled under Andrew's desk, eying the underside of the desktop as he went. They'd both wanked off in the office before and Andrew was notorious leaving things messy is every corner of his life, including the underside of his work desk.
Andy did his best to evade a couple of petrified globs on the underside of the desk and pulled Andrew's chair in closer to him. Andy seemed to be finding himself in the subordinate position more often than normal lately and he wasn't pleased about it. Not one bit.
Suddenly there was a crisp knock on the door, followed by a creak of the door opening. Andy froze and clutched at the sides of Andrew's chair like a statue and felt Andrew almost jump out of his seat.
“Good morning, Andrew,” came the sound of the Inspector's voice. “Danny said you two were finishing up the McIntyre case today? Are you alright, Detective Sergeant? You're looking very pale today.”
Tension radiated out of Andrew's thighs, which Andy could feel through the fabric of his slacks.
“Oh, I-I'm alright,” Andrew stuttered, trying to regain his composure. “Like I told Danny-boy, we're just going to buckle down today and get this McIntyre thing squared away. Lots of paperwork and forms and shite, you know.”
“Yes, of course,” Inspector Angel murmured, voice not quite as agreeable as either of the Andes would have hoped for. “Where is young Master Cartwright, anyway?”
“Uh, he ran to the loo. You know how it is, a bit too much curry last night, I think...” Andrew let his sentence trail off.
“I see. Do you think he's done with his coffee?” the Inspector inquired, having spotted Andy's mostly empty mug sitting on the desk.
“Oh, yeah. Probably,” Andrew replied. Then he yelped.
“Is there a problem, Andrew?” the Inspector asked, coming closer to the desk, a look of genuine concern on his face.
“No! No. I just...have a cramp. Went for a run this morning, but I guess I'm a bit out of practice, what with being a couch potato and all,” Andrew babbled, grabbing at straws. He tried to kick under the desk as well, but it jerked his whole body around too much and he didn't need anything else catching Inspector Arsewipe's attention.
“Alright then, I guess I'd best leave you to your work. It's nice to see you two finally pulling your weight around here. I look forward to reading your reports,” the Inspector said before finally exiting the small office.
As soon as the door closed, both Andes breathed sighs of relief and Andrew delivered his long-awaited kick.
“Ow!” Came Andy's muffled shout from under the desk. “What was that for?”
“What was that for? What the bloody fuck do you think it was for? You almost gave us up to Angle, you twat!” Andrew said angrily, pulling back from the desk just enough to make out a bit of Andy's face.
“Then maybe you shouldn't of let that wanker take my fucking coffee cup, yeah? I wasn't bloody finished with it!”
“Tough titties, Andrea. Now would you get to work already?” Andrew asked, gesturing to his crotch.
“Don't forget what I said about biting...”Andy warned, pulling Andrew and the chair back towards the desk.
Andy, crouched uncomfortably under the desk, unfastened Andrew's belt and undid his trousers. “Bloody hell, you got hard while Arsewipe was in the room, didn't you?”
“Eh,” Andrew shrugged, resting his arms on the armrests of the chair.
“Eugh!” Andy shuddered, reaching into Andrew's pants to pull out his stiff penis. “This is such a turn on...” Andy sneered sarcastically.
“Shut it. Your mouth should be too busy to talk!” Andrew ordered, reaching forward to put his hand around the back of Andy's head. Andy tried to shake off the hand but it was no use. Finally he sighed and took Andy's head into his mouth, smearing saliva on it before going on to lick up and down Andrew's shaft. Andrew sighed contentedly and relaxed back into his chair. Andy worked Andrew's length with his hand, sucking, licking and mouthing the tip with with those lips that Andrew liked to rave about so much. Faster and harder Andy worked him, until Andrew was breathing heavily and practically begging to be finished off.
Right then, three things happened: Andrew came and ejaculated into Andy's unprepared mouth, there came another knock on the door, and the sound of the door opening caused Andy to jump and unexpectedly swallow.
“'ello boys!” Doris said cheerily, entering the office. Her smile faded when instead of finding the Andes heads in their usual positions on either side of the desk, Andrew was sprawled on his side, having apparently fallen out of his chair, and Andy was missing altogether, although she could swear she heard him coughing somewhere in the room.
“Are you alright?” she asked concernedly, rushing over to Andrew's side. Her voice was cut short, however, upon seeing Andrew's now flaccid penis laying out in the open air. She turned to Andrew, who was firmly staring at the wall nearest his head, but whipped her head around at the sound of Andy's mysterious disembodied cough again...now embodied and visible under Andrew's desk, lips glistening suspiciously.
“Oh!” she gasped, hands covering her mouth. Then she started giggling. She stood up from where she'd been kneeling by Andrew's side and backed up towards the door. “You sneaky bastards,” she laughed before darting back out the door, shutting it firmly behind her, the sounds of her giggles still audible despite the obstacle.
Andy coughed again and gasped for water.
“Oh, will you be quiet, Andy?” Andrew snarled, starting to right himself from his fallen position. “It'd be nice sometime if you could stop being such a fucking girl!”
“I fucking told you,” Andy began, bracing himself against the underside of the desk, indifferent to the wads of gum and other unmentionables adhered to the metal. “NOT TO CALL ME A GIRL!” he finished, kicking Andrew's just righted chair out from under him, causing him to end up face-first on the floor. Again.
“I'm going to fucking kill you,” Andrew grumbled, in between protesting grunts of pain and he started to get up.
“I'd like to see you try,” Andy sneered, crawling out from under the desk. He brushed himself off and righted Andrew's chair, although he stubbornly didn't offer to help his partner get up. “Oh, and the next time you have a bright idea, like me sucking you off at bloody work, just...don't, okay? Just DON'T.”
Andy picked up Andrew's mug and looked in at the nearly empty contents. “More tea?”
Title: Untitled
Author: glam_by_the_lb
Character/s: Andy Cartwright, Andrew Wainwright
Rating: PG
Medium: Crow-quill pen & ink, I believe.
Summary/Warnings: Pub?
Notes: Drawn for the first issue of the Sandford Archives way back, well, whenever that was.
Title: the Phone Call
Author: glam_by_the_lb
Character/s: Andy Cartwright, Andrew Wainwright, Tina
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2,044
Summary/Warnings: In which Andrew gets a phone call...
Notes: Written in under 24 hours for pornathlon back in March.
The phone rang loudly, the shrill sound jarring amid the quiet hallway of DS Andrew Wainwright's cottage. Andy could hear the phone from outside as fumbled with his key in the door lock, the key catching in the lock for the thousandth time and him thinking that it needed oil for the 999th. The phone rang again as Andy opened the door, but there was no sign of Andrew anywhere. Suddenly there was a dull thudding sound from the other end of the house. Andy tossed his jacket on the back of a kitchen chair and passed into the living room and then into the hall.
“Do you want me to get that?” he bellowed towards the thudding noise, which suddenly resolved itself into Andrew coming down the hall, wrapped in several towels, apparently just out of the upstairs shower.
“Do you want me to-” Andy began again, but Andrew shut him off.
“No, I'm here now,” he said, grabbing the handset off of the base and clicking the call on. “Hello?” he asked gruffly into the receiver. “Oh,” he said, voice brightening as he grinned. “Hullo Tina.” He winked at Andy. Andy, on the other hand, rolled his eyes, crossed his arms, and sighed as soon as Andrew turned away and walked into the extra bedroom which, for some unfathomable reason has been turned into a home office, never once used as such by Andrew, the cottage's only occupant.
Andy stalked back into the kitchen and grabbed two beers out of the fridge. He could still hear Andrew's voice coming from the office, a low familiar hum in the background. He walked up and down the hall a little, smearing the puddles from Andrew's passing into an even wider mess with the toe of his shoe. After ten minutes of hanging around like this, he started to get antsy. Approaching the office again, Andy could still hear the low murmur of Andrew's voice. The door was only half shut, so Andy stuck an arm through the gap, a beer in its hand. He wiggled the beer around a little, then poked his head through to see Andrew's response.
Andrew made eye contact with Andy and held up a finger. He'd be done in a minute. He gestured for Andy to come in. After opening and setting one of the beers down by Andrew, Andy opened his own and flopped down onto the couch that was against the perpendicular wall. He took a swig and set the bottle down and leaned back into the couch. Andy sighed and set his head on his arm on the arm of the couch and generally did his best to look bored and annoyed. This had to have been the longest non-work call he'd ever seen Andrew on, and with Tina no less. Andrew saw and shrugged, pointing at the phone and making “talking” motions with his free hand, rolled his eyes. 'Women,' he seemed to be saying.
“Yeah, yeah,” Andres seemed to keep saying over and over again. Andy picked up a magazine off of the low table in front of him and flipped through it, even though there wasn't anything of interest. Suddenly Andy heard Andrew cough and clear his throat.
“Uh, well... Er, what do you have on?” Andy's ears perked up, non-interesting magazine instantly forgotten. What the hell was Tina saying on the other end of that phone? Well...Andy had a few guesses, actually.
“Oooh,” Andrew murmured, voice going low. Over the edge of his magazine, Andy saw Andrew shifting around in his chair, scooting down and getting more comfortable. “Oh, I've just got on a couple of towels. You called while I was in the shower.” His voice paused. “Yeah, it is a bit chilly, actually.” Then Andrew's voice went low again, barely a whisper, and Andy couldn't hear what he was saying.
Gulping down the last of his beer, Andy stood up and approached Andrew's desk. Andrew had turned away from the couch in his chair and was mostly facing the back wall, but his beer was almost untouched, so Andy grabbed it from the desk and took a nice long swig. Setting the beer back down, he accidentally knocked a pair of scissors off the edge of the desk. Annoyed, he bent down to fetch them from under the front of the desk, which, given the piecemeal nature of the desk, happened to be a bit of tapestry hung between the top of the desk and the two side pieces. Holding the heavy cloth above him, Andy stuck his head and shoulders under the desk and felt around for the scissors. As he was doing so, Andrew turned his chair back towards the desk, giving Andy a rather clear view of what his partner had been up to while turned away: Andrew's hand rested at the top of his thigh next to a rather prominent bulge in the towel around his waist and Andy caught the words “suck,” “hard,” and “love it” in Andrew's half mumbled part of the conversation. The bastard was having fucking phone sex with Tina! Right in front of him!
Andy's eyes lingered on the towel, thoughts confused. He felt the scissors laying near his knee and tossed the buggering things out from under the desk behind him. He was slowly becoming more and more pissed off that Andrew was willing to do this in front of him. Sitting together and watching Tina strip was one thing, but getting off with her on the phone while Andy was just sitting around twiddling his thumbs was quite another. Andrew always ran the show, acted like it was his god given right and maybe it was when they were at the station, but they weren't at the station now and Andy was his own man and Andrew needed to start realizing that. Andy hesitated only for a moment before crawling farther under the desk.
Andrew chuckled throatily from above; Tina was apparently saying something of particular “interest,” which in turn caused Andrew to rub the edge of his hand along his erection. Andy took a quick, deep breath and went forward. Andrew flinched with Andy first touched him, not sure if his imagination was just being particularly powerful tonight. At the second touch, however, Andrew tried to pull back from the desk to see what the hell was going on, but couldn't make the chair move.
“Just a minute,” he told Tina over the phone. Then, covering the mouthpiece with his hand, he hissed down towards the desk, after first looking about to make sure there wasn't anyplace else Andy could be.
“What the FUCK are you doing?” Andrew whispered loudly and angrily. “Get the fuck out from there!”
“Piss off,” Andy replied and continued to move his hand up and down Andrew's penis.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Andrew replied, trying to pull away again, only to be kept in place by Andy's firm grip on his privates.
“Nothing. What the hell is your problem, though? Getting off with Tina while I'm just over there sitting on the bloody couch?” Andy replied, his grasp around Andrew tightening as his anger grew, although his hand had stopped moving.
“I didn't think you'd mind-- OW! Watch it!” Andrew growled, grimacing.
“S-sorry,” Andy said, relaxing and moving his hand again. “Shouldn't you be talking to Tina, anyway?”
“What? Oh,” Andrew replied, remembering the phone in his hands. He started to put the phone back to his ear, but paused. “Aren't you going to stop now?”
“Are you?” Andy nodded at the phone. “If you're not, then I'm not.”
Andrew glared and frowned at his partner, but finally put the phone to his ear.
“You never could resist a pair of tits,” Andy said under his breath.
“I'll deal with you later,” Andrew hissed before uncovering the mouthpiece and announcing his return to Tina.
And I'll deal with you now, Andy thought to himself before grabbing the edge of Andrew's desk with his free hand to pull the mostly still-toweled lap closer to him.
“Ooh, yeah,” Andrew was saying above. “No, keep telling me. Pinch it, pinch it haaard!” Andy rolled his eyes and pinched Andrew's thigh, causing him to start and yelp. “No, everything's fine,” Andrew assured Tina through the phone, shooting eye-daggers at Andy through the desktop. “I just stubbed my toe.”
Andy laughed and put his free hand over his mouth to keep from being loud. This gave him a great idea, though; just how many lame excuses could he wrench out of Andrew in order to explain why he was making sure interesting noises over the phone to Tina? There was only one way, given his current position under the desk, that Andy could think of to get truly unexplainable noises from Andrew. As much as Andy could never have expected to find himself in this situation, the drive to piss Andrew off was now so strong that he'd go through with even this (although it really wasn't much worse than what they'd done that summer when he was 17...).
Andy shifted until he was sitting on his knees and then moved in between Andrew's legs. He placed a hand on either of Andrew's knees and slowly ran his hands up the hairy thighs, pushing the damp towel out of the way as he went. Andy was hesitant when it finally came down to the big moment, but then Andrew voice sounded again, that arrogant, piss-ant, know-it-all voice, and Andy moved forward, taking Andrew's cock in his hands. After a few quick strokes, it firmed up, having apparently deflated somewhat during their verbal exchange. Licking his lips quickly, Andy leaned in and took the Andrew's head into his mouth. Andrew tensed and babbled something monosyllabic into the phone, looking down at the desktop in utter confusion. Andy, on the other hand, pushed on and took more of Andrew into his mouth.
He couldn't remember much of what had happened that summer as a teenager, they'd both been too drunk and too embarrassed after the fact, but he assumed it must have been something like this. Thinking of the past, Andy realized that his own pants were getting a bit tight. Grinning, as much as he could, deviously, he focused that energy into the task at hand got more energetic with his mouth, moving up and down along Andrew's shaft at a faster pace. The bastard was squirming now, too. How was he explaining this to Tina, anyway? Would he say that he was doing this to himself? He couldn't envision Andrew admitting to wanking over the phone, even if it was obvious and only to Tina.
Andrew's hips moved in time with Andy's mouth and somewhere along the line, Andrew's free hand had placed itself on the back of Andy's head. “Ooh yeah, just like that,” Andrew purred into the phone. Finally, just when Andy's jaw was starting to ache, Andrew tensed and cried out, a tinny voice on the phone called out as well, Tina presumably. Andrew kept his hand on the back on his partner's head, holding it, and the last of his quickly evaporating ecstasy, in place for as long as possible. Andy, sic of half-gagging on Andrew's cock, clawed at the hand on his head and crawled backwards out from under the desk, hurrying off to spit into the toilet.
Andrew relaxed back into his chair, legs spread, limbs feeling heavy and comfortable, one hand still holding the phone to his ear. “Yeah, no problem. We'll have to do it again sometime, definitely,” he said into the phone. “Thanks, Tina. See you.” He took the phone away from his ear, finger slowly moving up to end the call. “And that you, Andy,” Andrew said slowly, pressing the button.
Somewhere on the other side of town, Tina, lying naked on top of her duvet, vibrator next to her hip, clicked her phone off as well. “Andy?” She shook her head once. “What?”
Title: the Bright Idea
Author: glam_by_the_lb
Character/s: Andy Cartwright & Andrew Wainwright, with brief appearances by Nicholas Angel and Doris Thatcher
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2264
Summary/Warnings: I don't write one-shots, apparently.
Notes: Written in another country on an awkward (and aggravating) keyboard. Also, meant to be a follow-up to the follow-up of the previous story, except the middle story ended up half finished and abandoned. It did involve Andy getting bound in the kitchen with zip-ties, however.
Andy rubbed his wrist against the side of his leg as he entered the police station, trying, as indirectly as possible, to itch the welt from where the zip ties had cut into his skin the night before. He'd cut out early this morning before Andrew woke up and went back to his place to shower and put on some fresh clothes. The last thing he needed to do was show up to work in the same clothes as yesterday, rumpled, and smelling of sex. He would rather have as few reasons to be lectured by Inspector Twat today as possible.
Pausing in the hallway, Andy got some coffee from the beverage cart and went heavy on the cream and sugar because Tony made it today and Tony always makes it too fucking strong. He paused at Doris' desk and teased her for a few minutes before finally, gritting his teeth, he stepped across the hall and opened the door to his and Andrew's office.
Andrew was inside already, poring over some papers spread out on the desk. He looked up immediately upon hearing the door. "Oi!" he bellowed at Andy. "Tea!" he said, lobbing a box of tissues at Andy's head to emphasize the point.
"Piss off," Andy shouted back, rubbing his forehead where the box had struck him. "Let me have a drink of my fucking coffee, will ya?"
Andrew rolled his eyes and turned his attention, for the moment, back to the papers on his desk. Andy took a couple of drinks from his mug before setting it down and heading back out to get a tea for Andrew. He knew how the bastard liked his tea, having fixed it for him time and fucking time again - one teabag in a not-quite-full mug, steeped for 4 minutes, with a teaspoon of sugar and filled to the top with milk. Simple enough, yet Andrew always seemed to notice the slightest variation, including those times when Andy was thoroughly pissed at the man and allowed small amounts of various bodily fluids to find their way into the cup, mixed in well of course...
"Here's your BLOODY tea!" Andy shouted at Andrew as he reentered the office. He slammed the mug down onto a pile of magazines on the side of Andrew's desk, which drew a dark scowl from the intended consumer.
"Thanks for spilling half of it in the process," Andrew grumbled, licking up spilt tea from the sides of the mug as he brought it over his lap.
"If you're going to moan so much, why don't you just get it yourself next time?" Andy shot back.
"I prefer to hear you moan," Andrew replied, giving Andy a knowing look over the top of his cup.
"Wanker," Andy said under his breath, scowling.
"Now, now, Detective Constable," Andrew cautioned, not quite masking the amusement in his voice. "Insubordination is a reportable offense, and you wouldn't want me to report you to Inspector Angle, now would you?"
"What the hell crawled up your ass this morning?" Andy replied, trying to ignore his partner, but failing miserably.
"You, as I recall..." Andrew chuckled, taking a drink from his mug.
"Would you knock it off?" Andy protested, a hint of desperation creeping into his voice.
"When it bothers you this much? Hell no, it's too much fun!" Andrew grinned, leering down at Andy as he stood up from his desk. "Back in a 'mo," he said, keeping his eyes locked on Andy until the door to the office shut between them.
Andy breathed easy for a few minutes, savoring his coffee and reading his morning e-mails, but his respite didn't last long. Andrew reentered the office, grin still in place, apparently pleased with himself.
"What were you up-" Andy began, but Andrew cut him off.
"I told Danny to tell Angle that we're busy working on the McIntyre case today and if he wants that fucker cracked, then everyone'd best leave us alone. All day."
Andy began nodding his head in agreement, but then stopped. "Hang on, the McIntyre case is just a livestock kidnapping, which we shouldn't even be dealing with in the first place. And there isn't anything to finish on it, either. We already figured out it was just a misunderstanding..."
"Andy, Andy, Andy," Andrew sighed, coming up behind his partner and placing a hand on either of his shoulders. "Sometimes I forget that you can be thick as a post in the morning. Or anytime really."
Andy tried to glare up at his partner, but he couldn't turn his head that far, so he settled on glaring at the empty seat across from him. "What am I being thick about, then? Eh, Inspector Morse?"
Andrew bent down and put his mouth next to Andy's ear. "The fact that we won't be bothered in here...all day. The case is irrelevant. It's just a bloody excuse." Andrew's tone went from informational to lewd in no time flat.
"Oh," Andy nodded, finally getting it. Then he flinched from being tickled by Andrew's mustache. “What the hell are we going to do in here all day, then?”
Andrew leaned back and rolled his eyes. Then, spinning Andy's chair around, Andrew shoved his partner's face into his crotch. “How's about that for an activity?”
“Fuck off!” Andy protested, pushing Andrew's hips away from him. “I did that last night!”
Andrew crossed his arms and frowned. “I know, I can remember. But it is your turn, after all.”
“That's not bloody fair! I didn't have a fucking choice last night, did I? You tied me up with those bloody zip ties!”
“Methinks the lady doth protest too much, Andy,” Andrew purred, cocking his head to the side and raising an eyebrow.
“I hate you, you know,” Andy sighed.
“I hate you, too, Andrea,” Andrew grinned. “You and that pretty little mouth of yours.”
Andy shuddered.
“Come on. Come on, girl!” Andrew teased, backing up to and settling into his own chair and patting his thighs for Andy to follow like a dog.
“If you keep that up, I'm going to bit a piece of your cock off,” Andy threatened, but he still got up and followed Andrew around the desk. Andrew pointed under the desk, which caused Andy to become confused. “Why should I go under there? It's cramped and disgusting. I know what you do under your desk, remember?”
“What if someone walks in on us?” Andrew proposed.
“You just got done assuring me that everyone was going to leave us alone for the day, right? So why would anyone walk in on us?” Andy retorted in a mocking voice. “Not so sure of your plan now, are you?”
“Stop being such a wanker and get down there and suck me off, will you?” Andrew cried, exasperated.
Andy nodded and saluted his partner, then stooped down and crawled under Andrew's desk, eying the underside of the desktop as he went. They'd both wanked off in the office before and Andrew was notorious leaving things messy is every corner of his life, including the underside of his work desk.
Andy did his best to evade a couple of petrified globs on the underside of the desk and pulled Andrew's chair in closer to him. Andy seemed to be finding himself in the subordinate position more often than normal lately and he wasn't pleased about it. Not one bit.
Suddenly there was a crisp knock on the door, followed by a creak of the door opening. Andy froze and clutched at the sides of Andrew's chair like a statue and felt Andrew almost jump out of his seat.
“Good morning, Andrew,” came the sound of the Inspector's voice. “Danny said you two were finishing up the McIntyre case today? Are you alright, Detective Sergeant? You're looking very pale today.”
Tension radiated out of Andrew's thighs, which Andy could feel through the fabric of his slacks.
“Oh, I-I'm alright,” Andrew stuttered, trying to regain his composure. “Like I told Danny-boy, we're just going to buckle down today and get this McIntyre thing squared away. Lots of paperwork and forms and shite, you know.”
“Yes, of course,” Inspector Angel murmured, voice not quite as agreeable as either of the Andes would have hoped for. “Where is young Master Cartwright, anyway?”
“Uh, he ran to the loo. You know how it is, a bit too much curry last night, I think...” Andrew let his sentence trail off.
“I see. Do you think he's done with his coffee?” the Inspector inquired, having spotted Andy's mostly empty mug sitting on the desk.
“Oh, yeah. Probably,” Andrew replied. Then he yelped.
“Is there a problem, Andrew?” the Inspector asked, coming closer to the desk, a look of genuine concern on his face.
“No! No. I just...have a cramp. Went for a run this morning, but I guess I'm a bit out of practice, what with being a couch potato and all,” Andrew babbled, grabbing at straws. He tried to kick under the desk as well, but it jerked his whole body around too much and he didn't need anything else catching Inspector Arsewipe's attention.
“Alright then, I guess I'd best leave you to your work. It's nice to see you two finally pulling your weight around here. I look forward to reading your reports,” the Inspector said before finally exiting the small office.
As soon as the door closed, both Andes breathed sighs of relief and Andrew delivered his long-awaited kick.
“Ow!” Came Andy's muffled shout from under the desk. “What was that for?”
“What was that for? What the bloody fuck do you think it was for? You almost gave us up to Angle, you twat!” Andrew said angrily, pulling back from the desk just enough to make out a bit of Andy's face.
“Then maybe you shouldn't of let that wanker take my fucking coffee cup, yeah? I wasn't bloody finished with it!”
“Tough titties, Andrea. Now would you get to work already?” Andrew asked, gesturing to his crotch.
“Don't forget what I said about biting...”Andy warned, pulling Andrew and the chair back towards the desk.
Andy, crouched uncomfortably under the desk, unfastened Andrew's belt and undid his trousers. “Bloody hell, you got hard while Arsewipe was in the room, didn't you?”
“Eh,” Andrew shrugged, resting his arms on the armrests of the chair.
“Eugh!” Andy shuddered, reaching into Andrew's pants to pull out his stiff penis. “This is such a turn on...” Andy sneered sarcastically.
“Shut it. Your mouth should be too busy to talk!” Andrew ordered, reaching forward to put his hand around the back of Andy's head. Andy tried to shake off the hand but it was no use. Finally he sighed and took Andy's head into his mouth, smearing saliva on it before going on to lick up and down Andrew's shaft. Andrew sighed contentedly and relaxed back into his chair. Andy worked Andrew's length with his hand, sucking, licking and mouthing the tip with with those lips that Andrew liked to rave about so much. Faster and harder Andy worked him, until Andrew was breathing heavily and practically begging to be finished off.
Right then, three things happened: Andrew came and ejaculated into Andy's unprepared mouth, there came another knock on the door, and the sound of the door opening caused Andy to jump and unexpectedly swallow.
“'ello boys!” Doris said cheerily, entering the office. Her smile faded when instead of finding the Andes heads in their usual positions on either side of the desk, Andrew was sprawled on his side, having apparently fallen out of his chair, and Andy was missing altogether, although she could swear she heard him coughing somewhere in the room.
“Are you alright?” she asked concernedly, rushing over to Andrew's side. Her voice was cut short, however, upon seeing Andrew's now flaccid penis laying out in the open air. She turned to Andrew, who was firmly staring at the wall nearest his head, but whipped her head around at the sound of Andy's mysterious disembodied cough again...now embodied and visible under Andrew's desk, lips glistening suspiciously.
“Oh!” she gasped, hands covering her mouth. Then she started giggling. She stood up from where she'd been kneeling by Andrew's side and backed up towards the door. “You sneaky bastards,” she laughed before darting back out the door, shutting it firmly behind her, the sounds of her giggles still audible despite the obstacle.
Andy coughed again and gasped for water.
“Oh, will you be quiet, Andy?” Andrew snarled, starting to right himself from his fallen position. “It'd be nice sometime if you could stop being such a fucking girl!”
“I fucking told you,” Andy began, bracing himself against the underside of the desk, indifferent to the wads of gum and other unmentionables adhered to the metal. “NOT TO CALL ME A GIRL!” he finished, kicking Andrew's just righted chair out from under him, causing him to end up face-first on the floor. Again.
“I'm going to fucking kill you,” Andrew grumbled, in between protesting grunts of pain and he started to get up.
“I'd like to see you try,” Andy sneered, crawling out from under the desk. He brushed himself off and righted Andrew's chair, although he stubbornly didn't offer to help his partner get up. “Oh, and the next time you have a bright idea, like me sucking you off at bloody work, just...don't, okay? Just DON'T.”
Andy picked up Andrew's mug and looked in at the nearly empty contents. “More tea?”