Day 1...
Well all seems ok so far today. Although I had a very crappy weekend. Kait and myself broke up on sunday. It was mutual I think. I really did pour my heart out into her in a quick amount of time. Maybe thats why it hurt so much. Neither of us are stable enough for a relationship right now, especially me. I've been in a very bad dark place as of late. One I haven't hit in years, but its all good, I've managed before and I'm sure I will again. Just gonna take the time and effort. But this is effort I'm willing to make
I just have felt so useless as of late and it had gotten me severely depressed. I feel real bad because of some of the things I have been doing. Some of the things I have been thinking. I admit to have thought of suicide lately, but this has nothing to do with Kait either. I kinda know why this came about in me, and I don't at the same time. I feel bad because I mentioned it to her and probably hurt her.
I had also told her that I love her. She is really the first person I have met since the accident that I never once felt a need to compare to Rebecca. Kait was enough, I like her for who she is on the inside. I still do and I hope that someday down the road we may be able to try again. But I can't stand still at the same time. I need to be stable, and I haven't been in a while. But it always seems like the things I pour my heart into go to shit. I just want her to be happy and not see her get hurt. Because I do care about her. Right now I'm just no good for her.
I just have felt so useless as of late and it had gotten me severely depressed. I feel real bad because of some of the things I have been doing. Some of the things I have been thinking. I admit to have thought of suicide lately, but this has nothing to do with Kait either. I kinda know why this came about in me, and I don't at the same time. I feel bad because I mentioned it to her and probably hurt her.
I had also told her that I love her. She is really the first person I have met since the accident that I never once felt a need to compare to Rebecca. Kait was enough, I like her for who she is on the inside. I still do and I hope that someday down the road we may be able to try again. But I can't stand still at the same time. I need to be stable, and I haven't been in a while. But it always seems like the things I pour my heart into go to shit. I just want her to be happy and not see her get hurt. Because I do care about her. Right now I'm just no good for her.