Assumptions, Clint/Natasha, PG-13, 2/?
Title: Assumptions (2/?)
Pairing/Character: Clint/Natasha, The Avengers
Word Count: approx. 1700
Rating: PG-13
Summary: I liked the idea of Clint and Natasha being married before the events of the film, but I wanted to make it believable. This is what came of it. A series of related one-shots.
Spoilers: If you haven’t seen the movie, this won’t make much sense
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters and will not be making any money off of this.
A/N: I wanted to see more of the “Assumptions” universe, notably how (or if) the rest of the team found out that Clint and Natasha were married. It's not quite as easy to keep things on the QT when you have a collection of extremely intelligent superheroes as roommates. Of course that meant I needed to write it. :D Hope you like it!
It never occurred to Tony Stark that Clint and Natasha weren't together.
“Come on,” he would say if asked, “have you seen them together? Seriously? If they're not, they should...no wait, there's no way they're not.”
Thor wasn't there long enough to form an opinion before he took Loki back to Asgard. If asked, though, he would say that such formidable warriors on the battlefield would make glorious partners in the bedchamber.
Bruce being a keen observer of human nature had his own opinions, but he also believed it was none of his business.
Steve didn't really want to know, but he was the only one who did. To help him when he really needed it, Natasha gave him the overview of her and Clint's relationship, a first for either of them, but one that they were both okay with.
Bruce's vague suspicions were confirmed next, although not on purpose. The scientist was working on some modifications for Hawkeye's bow and quiver and needed Clint's input on certain practical considerations that only the archer would know, so he called Clint's cell.
“Bruce?” Clint sounded worried.
“Hey Clint, I'm working on the weapons project and I have a couple of questions about the aerodynamics of carbon vs. aluminum carbon arrows in practical application. I can only figure out so much by myself, so I have a few questions for the expert.”
“Oh, yeah, no problem,” said Clint, then there was a pause and Bruce heard Clint speak softly to someone in the background. “It's okay - it's about the weapons modifications he's doing.” Another pause. “I know - he probably didn't even notice.”
Bruce couldn't help it. “Notice what?” he interjected.
Clint laughed. “It's 3:22 in the morning.”
“Oh, my- I'm so sorry! I got so involved, I didn't- Really, Clint!” He would have gone on, but the archer cut him off.
“No problem, Bruce. Hey, it's my weapon you're working on, who am I to complain? What can I help you with?”
A mortified Dr. Banner forced himself to detail his questions for Clint, who succinctly and accurately provided the necessary information, despite having been disturbed in the absolute dead of night.
After he hung up the phone, Bruce sat at his work station in embarrassment. Not only had he woken up his fellow Avenger in the middle of the night, but the archer hadn't been alone. Um, if nothing else, his vague suppositions about Clint and Natasha were confirmed, right? Wow, he was embarrassed.
Even then, Bruce didn't find out the full truth of the assassin pair's involvement until everyone in the Avengers did, on the day that Thor came back.
The team celebrated at dinner, going out for shawarma in the renovated restaurant that had served them so well after the Battle of Manhattan. Then they headed back to the communal floor of the Avengers Tower, at which time Tony took Thor on a tour of the building while everyone else picked out a movie to watch.
By the time Tony and Thor got back, Bruce was sitting on the floor with a bowl of popcorn, Pepper was in the recliner with a glass of wine, Steve was sprawled on a pile of pillows cadging popcorn from Bruce's bowl and Natasha was lying across the couch with her feet in Clint's lap, who was giving her a foot rub.
“I have Midgard living quarters!” announced Thor as he entered the room. The other Avengers obligingly clapped and cheered.
“Hell, yeah, Deuce Coup!” affirmed Tony. “You're one of us - you need your own digs!” He crossed the room and joined Pepper on her recliner. As it wasn't quite big enough for two, Pepper grumbled playfully, but she ultimately made room for Tony to cozy up to her.
“And what is next in our grand celebration?” the demigod asked in his usual booming voice. “Shall we slaughter-“
“NO!” Steve interrupted. “We're going to watch a movie!” He really didn't want to talk about dead animals.
“Ah-ha! And what grand movie will we be watching?” Thor asked as he walked around the couch to sit on the floor next to Bruce and Steve.
“Clint! Natasha!” Thor yelled in surprise. “You are espoused! Congratulations - I did not know!”
The room went both silent and still as everyone stared at the couple on the couch and Clint and Natasha stared at Thor.
Natasha's head whipped around to shoot a questioning look at Steve.
“What?! I didn't say anything!” Steve insisted. “And he's been in Asgard! My Starkphone doesn't reach that far!”
“I knew it!” called Tony. “See?! I was right!”
Clint laughed. “You thought we were a couple, not that we were married.” Tony shrugged smugly as Clint turned his attention to their celestial team member.
“Thor, why do you think Tasha and I are married?”
Thor looked surprised. “Because you're rubbing her feet, of course.”
All eyes turned to Thor.
“What?” asked Natasha in amused disbelief.
Thor furrowed his brow as he explained what he clearly felt was a given. “Only married couples rub each other's feet. It is a sign of respect and admiration for the contributions that each brings to the marriage and is often a precursor to lovemaking. I must admit to being a bit surprised that the two of you would conduct such an intimate activity in a public area.”
The Avengers were too stunned to speak. Thor eventually broke the silence.
“You and the Black Widow are espoused, are you not, Hawkman?” he asked.
Clint and Natasha looked at each other.
“Well, yeah,” Clint answered with a smile.
“You're married?!” Bruce burst out. “He's right?!”
“Which Steve already knew,” Tony pointed out. “Why is that? Don't you love us, too?” the billionaire pouted. Natasha just rolled her eyes in response.
“Steve, how did you know?” Pepper asked, the first person to ask anything in a calm tone as opposed to an outraged one.
The soldier looked to Natasha, who nodded with an amused smile. So far, in fact, the calmest people in the room were the couple in question.
“I was having a rough day,” explained Steve. “Natasha was there when I needed a friend. Her and Clint's relationship came up.” He turned to Natasha. “I swear I didn't say a word - not to anyone.”
'I know, Steve.” The deadly assassin smiled. “It's not your fault Asgardians have strange ideas about foreplay.”
“So the rubbing of feet is not an intimate activity on Midgard?” Thor asked no one in particular.
Everyone looked at each other, surprise, disbelief and amusement displayed on various faces.
Unexpectedly, it was Bruce who answered. “Un, no, Thor. I wouldn't say it's done in public restaurants, but it's just something friends do for each other.”
“But the Widow and the Hawkman are espoused,” Thor replied, confused.
Everyone turned back to the couple on the couch. Clint and Natasha exchanged another glance and smiled.
“Just a coincidence, Thor,” said Clint.
“And S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't know,” added Natasha. “We kind of like it that way if you guys don't mind.”
“How in the world did you hide the paper trail from S.H.I.E.L.D.?” This was from Tony, prompting yet another amused look between the married couple. It was Steve who answered, though.
“There is no paper trail,” the Captain interjected, shrugging as everyone turned to look at him. Responding to the unspoken questions for more details, he turned back to the couple on the couch.
Clint sighed lightly and Natasha rolled her eyes. She knew no one would leave them alone until they shared the details.
“The Mpongwe tribe in Zunibia doesn't have a town hall. You declare yourself married in front of an adult witness and that's it, you're legally married.”
“No paper trail,” finished Clint, who through all of this had never stopped rubbing Natasha's feet.
There was another pregnant pause as everyone took in this new information.
“Well, there you go,” said Bruce. “Hey, folks, the popcorn's getting cold. We gonna watch Raiders of the Lost Ark or what?”
“You're gonna love this, Steve. You, too, Thor,” Clint chimed in. “One of the best action movies ever made.”
“I just want to say that I knew all along.” Tony, of course, had to have the last word.
“Yes, you're a genius, dear. Thanks for letting us know,” said Pepper with a smirk, pecking her boyfriend's cheek and pulling him down to snuggle with her, effectively silencing him.
As everyone settled in and the movie started, covert glances were thrown towards Clint and Natasha. They were married? Really? It wasn't until about half an hour into the movie, though, that those covert glances turned up anything interesting. Because Clint was no longer rubbing Natasha's feet. She was rubbing his.
/fin
THE AVENGERS
Pairing/Character: Clint/Natasha, The Avengers
Word Count: approx. 1700
Rating: PG-13
Summary: I liked the idea of Clint and Natasha being married before the events of the film, but I wanted to make it believable. This is what came of it. A series of related one-shots.
Spoilers: If you haven’t seen the movie, this won’t make much sense
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters and will not be making any money off of this.
A/N: I wanted to see more of the “Assumptions” universe, notably how (or if) the rest of the team found out that Clint and Natasha were married. It's not quite as easy to keep things on the QT when you have a collection of extremely intelligent superheroes as roommates. Of course that meant I needed to write it. :D Hope you like it!
It never occurred to Tony Stark that Clint and Natasha weren't together.
“Come on,” he would say if asked, “have you seen them together? Seriously? If they're not, they should...no wait, there's no way they're not.”
Thor wasn't there long enough to form an opinion before he took Loki back to Asgard. If asked, though, he would say that such formidable warriors on the battlefield would make glorious partners in the bedchamber.
Bruce being a keen observer of human nature had his own opinions, but he also believed it was none of his business.
Steve didn't really want to know, but he was the only one who did. To help him when he really needed it, Natasha gave him the overview of her and Clint's relationship, a first for either of them, but one that they were both okay with.
Bruce's vague suspicions were confirmed next, although not on purpose. The scientist was working on some modifications for Hawkeye's bow and quiver and needed Clint's input on certain practical considerations that only the archer would know, so he called Clint's cell.
“Bruce?” Clint sounded worried.
“Hey Clint, I'm working on the weapons project and I have a couple of questions about the aerodynamics of carbon vs. aluminum carbon arrows in practical application. I can only figure out so much by myself, so I have a few questions for the expert.”
“Oh, yeah, no problem,” said Clint, then there was a pause and Bruce heard Clint speak softly to someone in the background. “It's okay - it's about the weapons modifications he's doing.” Another pause. “I know - he probably didn't even notice.”
Bruce couldn't help it. “Notice what?” he interjected.
Clint laughed. “It's 3:22 in the morning.”
“Oh, my- I'm so sorry! I got so involved, I didn't- Really, Clint!” He would have gone on, but the archer cut him off.
“No problem, Bruce. Hey, it's my weapon you're working on, who am I to complain? What can I help you with?”
A mortified Dr. Banner forced himself to detail his questions for Clint, who succinctly and accurately provided the necessary information, despite having been disturbed in the absolute dead of night.
After he hung up the phone, Bruce sat at his work station in embarrassment. Not only had he woken up his fellow Avenger in the middle of the night, but the archer hadn't been alone. Um, if nothing else, his vague suppositions about Clint and Natasha were confirmed, right? Wow, he was embarrassed.
Even then, Bruce didn't find out the full truth of the assassin pair's involvement until everyone in the Avengers did, on the day that Thor came back.
The team celebrated at dinner, going out for shawarma in the renovated restaurant that had served them so well after the Battle of Manhattan. Then they headed back to the communal floor of the Avengers Tower, at which time Tony took Thor on a tour of the building while everyone else picked out a movie to watch.
By the time Tony and Thor got back, Bruce was sitting on the floor with a bowl of popcorn, Pepper was in the recliner with a glass of wine, Steve was sprawled on a pile of pillows cadging popcorn from Bruce's bowl and Natasha was lying across the couch with her feet in Clint's lap, who was giving her a foot rub.
“I have Midgard living quarters!” announced Thor as he entered the room. The other Avengers obligingly clapped and cheered.
“Hell, yeah, Deuce Coup!” affirmed Tony. “You're one of us - you need your own digs!” He crossed the room and joined Pepper on her recliner. As it wasn't quite big enough for two, Pepper grumbled playfully, but she ultimately made room for Tony to cozy up to her.
“And what is next in our grand celebration?” the demigod asked in his usual booming voice. “Shall we slaughter-“
“NO!” Steve interrupted. “We're going to watch a movie!” He really didn't want to talk about dead animals.
“Ah-ha! And what grand movie will we be watching?” Thor asked as he walked around the couch to sit on the floor next to Bruce and Steve.
“Clint! Natasha!” Thor yelled in surprise. “You are espoused! Congratulations - I did not know!”
The room went both silent and still as everyone stared at the couple on the couch and Clint and Natasha stared at Thor.
Natasha's head whipped around to shoot a questioning look at Steve.
“What?! I didn't say anything!” Steve insisted. “And he's been in Asgard! My Starkphone doesn't reach that far!”
“I knew it!” called Tony. “See?! I was right!”
Clint laughed. “You thought we were a couple, not that we were married.” Tony shrugged smugly as Clint turned his attention to their celestial team member.
“Thor, why do you think Tasha and I are married?”
Thor looked surprised. “Because you're rubbing her feet, of course.”
All eyes turned to Thor.
“What?” asked Natasha in amused disbelief.
Thor furrowed his brow as he explained what he clearly felt was a given. “Only married couples rub each other's feet. It is a sign of respect and admiration for the contributions that each brings to the marriage and is often a precursor to lovemaking. I must admit to being a bit surprised that the two of you would conduct such an intimate activity in a public area.”
The Avengers were too stunned to speak. Thor eventually broke the silence.
“You and the Black Widow are espoused, are you not, Hawkman?” he asked.
Clint and Natasha looked at each other.
“Well, yeah,” Clint answered with a smile.
“You're married?!” Bruce burst out. “He's right?!”
“Which Steve already knew,” Tony pointed out. “Why is that? Don't you love us, too?” the billionaire pouted. Natasha just rolled her eyes in response.
“Steve, how did you know?” Pepper asked, the first person to ask anything in a calm tone as opposed to an outraged one.
The soldier looked to Natasha, who nodded with an amused smile. So far, in fact, the calmest people in the room were the couple in question.
“I was having a rough day,” explained Steve. “Natasha was there when I needed a friend. Her and Clint's relationship came up.” He turned to Natasha. “I swear I didn't say a word - not to anyone.”
'I know, Steve.” The deadly assassin smiled. “It's not your fault Asgardians have strange ideas about foreplay.”
“So the rubbing of feet is not an intimate activity on Midgard?” Thor asked no one in particular.
Everyone looked at each other, surprise, disbelief and amusement displayed on various faces.
Unexpectedly, it was Bruce who answered. “Un, no, Thor. I wouldn't say it's done in public restaurants, but it's just something friends do for each other.”
“But the Widow and the Hawkman are espoused,” Thor replied, confused.
Everyone turned back to the couple on the couch. Clint and Natasha exchanged another glance and smiled.
“Just a coincidence, Thor,” said Clint.
“And S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't know,” added Natasha. “We kind of like it that way if you guys don't mind.”
“How in the world did you hide the paper trail from S.H.I.E.L.D.?” This was from Tony, prompting yet another amused look between the married couple. It was Steve who answered, though.
“There is no paper trail,” the Captain interjected, shrugging as everyone turned to look at him. Responding to the unspoken questions for more details, he turned back to the couple on the couch.
Clint sighed lightly and Natasha rolled her eyes. She knew no one would leave them alone until they shared the details.
“The Mpongwe tribe in Zunibia doesn't have a town hall. You declare yourself married in front of an adult witness and that's it, you're legally married.”
“No paper trail,” finished Clint, who through all of this had never stopped rubbing Natasha's feet.
There was another pregnant pause as everyone took in this new information.
“Well, there you go,” said Bruce. “Hey, folks, the popcorn's getting cold. We gonna watch Raiders of the Lost Ark or what?”
“You're gonna love this, Steve. You, too, Thor,” Clint chimed in. “One of the best action movies ever made.”
“I just want to say that I knew all along.” Tony, of course, had to have the last word.
“Yes, you're a genius, dear. Thanks for letting us know,” said Pepper with a smirk, pecking her boyfriend's cheek and pulling him down to snuggle with her, effectively silencing him.
As everyone settled in and the movie started, covert glances were thrown towards Clint and Natasha. They were married? Really? It wasn't until about half an hour into the movie, though, that those covert glances turned up anything interesting. Because Clint was no longer rubbing Natasha's feet. She was rubbing his.
/fin
THE AVENGERS