Three Things Jack Didn't Want Anyone to Know

[sandandglass]

Title: Three Things Jack Didn't Want Anyone to Know
Characters/Pairings: Captain Jack Sparrow
Rating: PG
Word Count: 583
Disclaimer: I'm going to make this very, very clear being that this is owned by Disney and I don't in any way want to piss off the Mouse, I don't own Pirates of the Carribean or Captain Jack Sparrow. I am not making a profit from this, period.
Prompt: "PotC, Jack Sparrow, three things the world didn't know about Jack Sparrow" from dancingcarrot21 at comment_fic


There were three things that Jack Sparrow would never tell anyone…ever. Except under torture, he might divulge the information under torture. Horrible stuff that. All with the pincers and hot pokers and the chains and…well, you get the idea. But other than that, there were three things Jack Sparrow hoped to keep close to his heart (barring that torture thing) until his dying days:

1. His trademark dreadlocks are really a wig. Jack has actually been losing his hair since he turned 23 and who’s going to take seriously a balding pirate? No, it just wouldn’t do. So he had the hair piece made special by a marooned Haitian pirate who had taught himself wig making by practicing on the many vines that overran his isolated island prison in hopes of starting a new career since piracy hadn’t been so kind to him. In return for the wig, Jack dropped the Haitian off at a quickly growing city in the American colonies called New York. Last he heard, the Haitian was doing quite well for himself having opened his own wig boutique. But Jack quickly found that the wig just wouldn’t stay on his head no matter how tight he tied his bandana. Every time he turned around, it seemed the damn thing kept tipping into his eyes, though Jack suspected his crew was doing it on purpose to dip into his precious rum stash but he could never prove it. He solved this little conundrum by ‘borrowing’ a jar of goop that Jack thinks is some sort of magic glue from Tia Dalma. It does work and keeps the wig completely unmoving on his head but the stench of piss and unwashed rum-drenched sweat is pretty powerful, but Jack barely even notices it anymore.
2. Jack Sparrow really isn’t his name. He is really Cedric Hollingberry of the London Hollingberrys. A long line of bakers who have been making breads and cakes for the upper crust of London for many generations indeed. Among being the scourge of the seas, Jack has also been known to make the best birthday cakes and his Christmas cookies are to die for.
3. Which brings us to the last one and that is that Captain Teague really isn’t his father. See, when Cedric was young and rebellious, he ran away from home and joined the navy as a cabin boy. The unfortunate ship he was commissioned to was waylaid by Captain Teague who proceeded to kill all on board and take everything that he could from the ship before he scuttled it. However, when Teague laid eyes on young Jack (or Cedric at the time), he cried out in joy and grabbed the boy in his arms. Teague swore up and down that this was his boy Jackie who had been missing these many years and it was a miracle indeed that brought him back to his father. Jack/Cedric, not being a stupid boy at all, quickly decided that playing along with this madman would be much better than what was happening to the rest of his crewmates. He agreed whole-heartedly with the lunatic’s ravings as Teague staggered back and forth on deck waving a shrunken head claiming it to be Jack’s mother. The man was definitely a nutter but he was also brilliant and Jack learned many things from the man. From that day on, Cedric Hollingberry became Jack Sparrow and he found a new career in piracy, and a truly adventurous career it was.