062 - Hn.
The guilt don't make sense, but it's there all the same. Same thing I felt then, but...That don't make no sense. Of course, it didn't then, either, but now it really don't, 'cause it ain't got a place. I don't get it. I've had botched jobs before...Yeah, okay, so that's a little different than a set up, but this...I dunno. I feel like I'm...Hn. I shouldn't be layin' around, acting like it's cool that everybody does everything for me. I wasn't built for this shit.
Good thing, though, ribs're nearly healed. Means I'll be mobile again. True, the rest ain't caught up, which is fucking bullshit. I should be fine now. But as it stands, I ain't, so I got no choice but to wait it out. I still can't walk more'n ten feet without fallin' flat on my fucking face. Good thing, then, Vergil don't know about that. He'd never stop bitchin' at me for it. Not that he ain't got every right for it. If I'd listened to my gut, I wouldn't be in this fucking bind. Don't mean he's gotta know, though.
The wait's the worst part. Hell, everybody knows that shit. It sucks, to wait for the gaping holes in your fucking side to close up so you can sit and stand up straight. I ain't been this laid up since the old man blew my knee out. Eh. Whatever. I ain't made one of these sissy-ass private posts since then, either. Not really. 'Cause there ain't no point in it. It don't fix nothing, and if it gets out, I never fucking hear the end of it.
I'm so taking a mother fucking vacation to, like, someplace warm after this. I dunno where yet. I'll think on it.
So. I got a puppy. I ain't named her yet, 'cause I can't think of one. Ain't never had a pet and all that bullshit. Can't go around callin' her the puppy for the rest of forever, 'cause she won't BE a puppy forever. So, yeah. Ain't much else to say about that, considering I still can't breathe right. Fucking holy water.
Also: Amanda. My paid account? Dead. I thought you were gonna fix that. >:[ I forgive you. Kinda. Maybe. We'll see.