Aug 20, 2005 09:03
Life is confusing right now.
The people back home are being wrong. They're...doing bad things to familia. I want to go help, but I don't know enough yet. And Derek says they'll just kill me right now if I go.
I might not be able to go back home now, at all.
Derek says that's not true, that I will eventually. But not right now. He won't tell me why he thinks that--he can't go back, so why can I go back?
And there are other things, too. Things he's not telling me. We figured out a lot of what the drugs did to me...but I know there's more...and Derek knows there's more...but he won't tell me what more is. He says not to worry, but I do.
Why won't he tell me?
Utoland is still fun...but it's not the same, you know. Not now that I might be here forever. I like it here, I like my friends...but...
And how am I going to hunt vampires if I can't go back? I mean, Derek is still training me like I'm going back, and I'm glad, because I want to learn, pero...what's the point?