i need a massage
10 Years Ago, I...
1. flew on an airplane for the first time since I was 3
2. moved to germany and was thought to be a boy called Lindsay
3. got asked out by the same guy 3 times
4. watched porn for the first time with my weird italian friend
5. got braces
5 Years Ago, I...
1. had 21 people in my whole grade
2. won 1st place in a talent show with a ballet-inspired dance of grapes
3. was on the varsity soccer team, basketball team, and baseball team
4. got chased by a baby cobra snake
5. was friends with people named Pink, Pui, Miika, Yoogi, and Daisy
3 Years Ago, I...
1. went away to school and sucked
2. had a boyfriend that i thought i loved more than anything else and probably did
3. didn't have any female friends within walking distance
4. got dropped on a couch for an evil prank
5. had a bladder infection
1 Year Ago, I...
1. adopted my dog
2. hung out with a guy with a gun rack in his bedroom
3. went out for lunch with underwear on my head
4. had a 26-year-old boyfriend for 2 months
5. went crazy
So far this year, I've...
1. gotten fatter
2. added another cat to my family
3. dated a fireman
4. gotten to know a lot of diverse people
5. got my heart broken (not by the fireman)
Yesterday, I...
1. yelled at my insipid, incompetant manager
2. watched "godsend" with lynne and we screamed
3. went to the dollar store and bought some stickers
4. took my dog for a walk
5. flirted with disaster
Today, I...
1. ate calamari
2. played the alphabet game with cartoon characters and musicians
3. worked
4. talked to rob
5. said "dude" for the first time in years
Tomorrow, I will...
1. turn in my president for the united states of american application
2. rip up said application because fuck, that'll never happen
3. take abs for a walk
4. be glued to the tv between the hours of 8 & 10:30 pm
5. wash my hair because i told that creepy kid yesterday that i would