(no subject)
ya know when you hate something about your life and all you ever do is complain and someone says "stop complaining- do something about it!" well, i AM doing something about it, but i still feel like complaining. read ahead at your own will.
so i worked my first ever triple today. my triple consisted of conducting, by MYSELF, a training class for new hosti- 830am-1045am, then working on the floor from 1045am-415pm, then yet again, getting conned into working from 515pm-8pm. i am such a sucker => i don't know how to say no.
last night one of the server trainers came up to me and asked me if i could conduct a training class. i was iffy about it since i want to quit soooo badly i come home in tears at night to be honest since i hate it there so much, and i had already been asked on friday to do it and i put it off. friday i was told that i have a week to think about it, a week being in layman's terms 7 days. chuck's idea of a week was tomorrow, aka this morning. since for some odd reason i wasn't told that we were even hiring any more hosti for me to train until the day before, needless to say i was pissed but couldn't say no because i didn't want any more shitty hosti working that had had no training. the servers could potentially train them, but they don't have the expertise knowledge that i have. not to be stuck up or anything, but i am the head hostess there, for fuck sakes, i deserve it after all this time and effort i put into that hole. so i do the class, nervous as all hell. i couldn't sleep last night, had a nightmare about it, and woke up at like 5 am, dreading it. mind you it was only 2 girls, and i'm outgoing as hell, but when i have to teach someone something that i will get to watch, i am moulding this girls, i'm terrified as hell. so i did it and i think i did it well. i earned my gold bdi pin :)
ok so that was my morning, and then i worked and we were short staffed and there was only 2 of us so we were each running our asses off forever. so time passes, time comes for me to leave at 415, i get my free lunch for training, and i'm waiting for my ride. one of my managers looks at the roster for the night, and decides that yet again, the host staff is short staffed. who does he look at to fill that void??? ME. fuckin' right. i stand there, seriously knocking my head on the marble, saying "yeah.... * INSERT HUGH ASS SIGH* i'll do it..."
i am so fucking tired of being used and abused. when my turn comes to get help, what happens- i get jacked. when there is a schedule conflict, who helps me? no one. if the manager messes up, i have to fix it. if i'm having a personality conflict with a fellow employee (which i did 2 nights in a row. when i work there, i'm the boss, and we have this newer 50ish year old hostess who has a problem with younger people telling her what to do, so i got YELLED at full blown, with disses on how bossy and rude i am, and how much of an attitude i hold against her- none of which is true according to everyone else i work there with), who has to apologize for not being able to see eye to eye? ME. oh, but when someone else has a problem, who fixes it as well? ME. i'm tired of being used with none of my needs and wants met. i hate being underappreciated, overworked, and on high demand. i'm only appreciated when i'm most needed, like today, and then i'm thrown to the wolves when everything is hunky dorey.
so friday night i pulled one of my managers off to the side to talk about that personality conflict i have with that woman, and i got tossed aside. i bring it up again the next night, preceeding it with
"can i talk to you after work?"
"about what?"
---insert the "you know what face"---
"haha, what, you thinking about putting your 2 weeks notice in?"
---insert the "you're fucking right" face---
"uh uh... no way" and walks away...
WHO DOES THAT??????
the topic of my 2 weeks has this been avoided by trying to bribe me with more money. they know i'm putting in my 2 weeks notice as soon as i can, and prolonging it as much as they can with the bribing. nu uh. NOT gonna work!
i have never been more depressed in my life than i am right now. well not at this moment because all i've been doing all day is venting. see how they feel when i take off 2 weekends in a row PLUS a week off. SUCK THAT while i find a new job, bitches!