PRS AU fic: Change your name and come seek me; Epilogue
Masterpost
Protocol #5072-10. Top Secret.
On May 04, 2011, due to an unforeseeable situation, the “J. T. Padalecki” case is closed.
Special Agent J. Ackles’ resignation is accepted under circumstances specifically authorized by ANPC.
Further information is classified under a higher level, authorized personnel only.
This notice also applies to "restricted data," which is classified as TOP SECRET, SECRET, or CONFIDENTIAL.
AF-593 contains detailed instructions regarding the destruction of this classified material in the event of an emergency.
Protocol #5074-10. Top Secret.
On May 04, 2011, the “Megan Padalecki” case is opened.
Chief Ray is assigned as the main commander to supervise this operation.
Further information is classified under a higher level, authorized personnel only.
Any duplication or distribution of the information contained herein is strictly prohibited.
Jensen died.
He doesn’t remember it, though.
Megan told him after that he scared shit out of her when he opened his eyes to whisper ‘help me’ in the coldness of the morgue.
For him, it was a day when he was dragged out of bed to set an ambush for his killer instead of fixing things with Jared. It was an elaborate set up for catching a killer and the ones who were standing behind him to sabotage their organization.
But the killer was just a drug addict desperate for money. What a shitty coincidence.
And after, Jared was gone.
Jensen was no longer a possessor of power, but he had the power to threaten the whole agency in case something bad happens to the guy who has lost agency’s interest the moment his power was handed to his sister.
Tough shit. Jensen was not in his right mind, and he was dangerous to be left alive and to be killed. It was a lose-lose situation.
Chief Ray and Christian made sure he wasn’t going to plant a bomb in the agency and wisely brought Jared back on a tight schedule.
Jensen appreciates it. Doesn’t mean that he has to notify them of his gratitude. After all, the agency keeps ticking the safe way now.
Jensen has Jared, and he is willing to bend and develop a compromising nature, as long as it concerns Jared.
Sometimes, Jensen catches shadows flickering across Jared’s face. It’s not a good look on him. It’s something Jensen feels an urge to get rid of immediately, so he kisses Jared’s cheek; Jared smiles at him like Jensen is the best thing in the world, and the gloomy past hides away.
The confusing thing is that Jensen never needed anyone in his life. Now that he has Jared, he doesn’t know how to not need him, trying to get his hands on everything that Jared is.
In the beginning, after Jared got back, they had a talk because Jared demanded, tangled in mess of emotions that were not connected, and Jensen needed to decode them and write a script where Jared understands each element. Jensen explained and deconstructed himself, using way too many strings of words for his liking, but it was for Jared.
“I checked every parent directory, but, obviously, one had a slight error I missed, so it failed. I take full responsibility for my actions.” Jensen opens up as they sit in kitchen chairs opposite each other.
Jared gives him a long look before he sighs, his hand squeezing Jensen’s knee in reassurance, “You have to be more specific. I know it’s hard. But please, this is the moment when you have to.”
Jensen looks puzzled for a moment before he finds the correct words, “It means ‘forgive me’.”
A soft smile quirks at the corners of Jared’s mouth, and he leans closer to look directly in Jensen’s eyes.
“What do you want, Jensen?” Jared asks, his thumb caressing Jensen’s cheekbone.
“You are not asking about a new iPod,” Jensen grins lopsided, a bit put out and trying to hide it.
“No,” Jared shakes his head; his gaze turns serious as he straightens up, hand sliding off Jensen.
Jensen shifts in his seat, and then, he says the words that are embedded forever in his head the way they are, because he can’t translate them into a ‘normal’ language, “You. Everything that involves you.”
“Okay. That’ll do.” Jared nods and launches forward, kissing him fiercely, Jensen’s hands fisting in his shirt.
Jensen vaguely remembers them breaking one of the chairs along with the kitchen table, but it was so, so difficult to pay attention to details that weren’t Jared.
Jensen misses his job. The irony that he was killing the people that he is now one of is not lost on him.
He feels as if he bargained his and Jared’s abilities for his life, but it’s not a thing he can find an answer for.
Once Jensen asked Jared if he missed his gift of saving people, but Jared shrugged it off, smiled brightly and kissed Jensen in response.
Now, though, Jensen has to watch Jared worrying himself over Megan, of the possibilities putting her in danger. Implausibly so, Gerald is the one to take care of her now. It’s complicated, but Megan sees the both sides and chooses her own way, determined to keep Jared out of it.
Jensen tries not to look relieved when Jared tells him that. After all, Jared’s side is the only one Jensen cares about. And Jensen still got a few aces in his sleeve to make sure Megan’s out of danger. He just doesn’t like frowned lines crossing Jared’s forehead.
For a few weeks after they get back together, Jensen feels jittery without his job until he sets his eyes on a new target - focusing on programming, making it more than just a hobby, finding new ways to improve, a head full of scripts and algorithms.
It takes him a few days, but he spends two nights in a row with his laptop, coding. Jared keeps him going by bringing him food and drinks. After, Jared drags Jensen to bed, and fucks into him maddeningly slow until he is a sweaty mess demanding to be fucked hard.
Needless to say, Jared remains the main priority and object for exploring.
Sometimes, Jensen puts his hand on Jared’s chest, intently watching Jared’s every breath in and out, making mental notes.
Sometimes, it’s about the way Jared moves, like his weird attempts at dancing; or the way he talks, his mouth moving fast; or the way he laughs, head thrown back and arms flailing.
And sometimes, it’s about Jensen trying to drag that amazing gasping sounds out of Jared, voice quivering when he says, “Jensen”, body so responsive against Jensen’s. Jensen uses every chance. He likes the way it changes everything; he likes the way his body reacts to the sight or voice of Jared.
Jared may be in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, legs spread apart, and rambling. Jensen’s eyes darken, and he just drops to his knees and starts tugging at Jared’s belt buckle, cursing clothes, while Jared makes hitching noises and frantically helps Jensen tug down his jeans.
Jensen loves to be inside Jared, feeling the heat and getting so incredibly intimate, wave of emotions more expressive than the words shaking his mind. He loves watching Jared trusting his own body and mind to Jensen when they’re wrapped up inside the fever, the only sounds are their moans and whispers, with Jensen snapping his hips and trying to get even deeper.
With Jared, Jensen gets a long list of the places he had sex, public places included. They are forever banned from a few places, their favorite book shop included, and Chad has a few memorable moments he wants to get rid of with brain bleach.
One day, Jensen wants to start a stupid fight, because it's too much to handle and too hard to keep up. And he just can’t explain his outrage.
Jensen doesn’t remember the starting point, but he finds himself in the middle of street, breathing hard, Jared’s eyes on him. Always on him.
He jerks away from Jared and shouts, listening to himself saying, “I want you to get mad at me.”
Jared gives him a hurt expression, pain in his eyes - just like before - and Jensen can’t take it, suddenly not having a room to breathe. “Leave me,” he hisses and doesn’t wait for Jared to follow his advice, being the first to walk away.
He walks the streets the whole night, emptiness in his head, enjoying his loneliness, like he did before. The night ends and with the sunrise, feelings of worry creep in, baring his emotions, raw at edges, clearing his head and frightening him.
Jensen nearly runs the whole way home, messed up and scared shitless that Jared has listened and left him.
He finds post-it note pinned to the front door, “I get scared, too.”
Jensen jerks open the door and finds Jared behind it. They keep looking at each other, both on the same page and stuck deep.
That night Jared kisses Jensen and says, “My script contains different codes, but each one has to do something with you.”
Sometimes, when Jared looks at Jensen, Jensen’s throat tightens, and he can’t put it into words or codes, can’t give explanation to every element he feels inside. It’s just there, continuously growing, and Jensen will burn out without it.
The End