(no subject)
I find myself looking at things extremely differently lately. My desire to go out has decreased by 75%. For years I felt stifled at home, I felt that it was a waste of a day if I didn't go out and do something social. Now I usually find it to be bothersome to have to get up and leave my apartment. Even on nights when I have something really awesome to do, I still think about how I don't really feel like leaving. For example, when Of Montreal and Joanna Newsom played (both of which were awesome, Joanna Newsom was unbelievable and adorable) part of me wanted to sit at home and read and watch a movie. I don't really like going to shows unless I'm particularily excited to see a band (this may also be in part due to the fact that I feel like most people I see at shows are fucking childish and act like they're still in highschool). I love the establishments in Riverwest but man alive I would like to meet some new people. For the first time ever, when I have a reason to hang out on campus, it is difficult to get to and from, unless I want to cab it. I also really have no interest in males in any capacity right now, or rather, more specifically the males I know. It would be great to meet a non asshole, non crazy, non cheating lying motherfucker, but alas that does not seem to be in the cards for me. This guy stopped in work the other day and I was simply being friendly because it's my job and was suggesting a few places to check out in the city, and he stays and talks to me for a while. Whatever. But then several days later he comes in again, under the pretext of seeing if we had "any new shirts." Now why would we have new shirts in a 3 day period? Whatever. But he stood around and awkwardly tried to make conversation, and even when I had to ring up different customers, he still stood there, when all I really wanted was for him to leave so I could go back in the storeroom and continue reading. I don't even really want to elaborate on the fact that the most efememinate man (swears he's not gay! pfft...) from VICTOR'S very explicitely hit on me, and then called the next day (there's really no good explanation for why I gave him my number other than I had a few too many drinks). What the hell? And then of course there are the guys wtih the girlfriends who don't seem to leave me alone.
At this point I'm really itching to leave. As soon as we get internet, I'm going to start planning summer, which will involve a month or two in South America doing service work, and I guess getting ready for post grad plans. I keep saying it but I really want to try to see if I can do Globetrekkers, and I would lose my tuition remission but I feel like I would rather deal with student loans and have had a few years of doing really amazing travelling to places I've been dying to go to. I absolutely want to go to law school still, though. I mean the possibilities are pretty endless. I could do a lot of really awesome stuff wtih non-profit organizations, maybe get involved with environmental law. I mean, fuck, I could open up a business if I wanted, which I'd really like to do.
Guh I don't know. All I know is that all of the things that brought me back to Milwaukee are slowly fading and everyday I feel fewer and fewer emotional ties in this city.
At this point I'm really itching to leave. As soon as we get internet, I'm going to start planning summer, which will involve a month or two in South America doing service work, and I guess getting ready for post grad plans. I keep saying it but I really want to try to see if I can do Globetrekkers, and I would lose my tuition remission but I feel like I would rather deal with student loans and have had a few years of doing really amazing travelling to places I've been dying to go to. I absolutely want to go to law school still, though. I mean the possibilities are pretty endless. I could do a lot of really awesome stuff wtih non-profit organizations, maybe get involved with environmental law. I mean, fuck, I could open up a business if I wanted, which I'd really like to do.
Guh I don't know. All I know is that all of the things that brought me back to Milwaukee are slowly fading and everyday I feel fewer and fewer emotional ties in this city.