Prompt #35 - Intercourse

Dec 15, 2010 01:56

"So you had him in the park and you didn't do anything when you took him home?"

The two sat in Sugoroku's office, Yami on the floor, legs crossed; he peered up to Yuugi who spun slowly in the swivel chair.

"He clearly loves you. He adores you, Yami. You need to stop fucking about with Mokuba and figure something out. You know you're not serious about him."

"Actually, I just don't know what I am about him," Yami said. "And I've said it before, Marik and I won't work."

"Why?"

Yami shook his head, curling up into himself. He changed his position on the floor, pulled his knees up to his chest. "He's everything that I don't want about my life. All of the stupid, useless memories, the struggle to remember my name but lose the powers that allowed me to do so - he lives in Egypt with a crypt full of my belongings, Yuugi."

There was so much more to it than just that. But years of emotional anguish was not so easy to put into words. It was easy to brush it all to the side, to pretend it didn't bother him when people asked. When Yami was alone, though, those monsters - his memories - often threatened to swallow him whole. And that was a whole other discussion. Talking about his mental health would be worse.

"...I get that," Yuugi said pensively, slowly. It was clear that he didn't want to make light of what little he understood. "...but you know how I feel about this. He really does love you. Are you just going to let that slip away? Like he said, he's not going to wait for you."

It was hard to ignore someone like Marik, or the time spent with him. He'd been a very attentive partner. Maybe too much. Marik was determined to make sure that Yami had anything he wanted (at least, within the Ishtar family's power). It was overwhelming. The question wasn't of comfort - Marik had a way of making even strangers feel comfortable. He somehow knew exactly what to say, what not to, and how to just make Yami feel complete even though it couldn't be true.

Yami was broken and discarded refuse and, despite his old title, unworthy of such gifts. That magic was best spent on someone else. "I don't want him to. I hope that if I get around to asking him to date me again he's taken. I deserve it."

"Don't be like that."

"Like what--realistic? His family is enslaved to guard my remains for no reason other than tradition. There are no more Pharaohs in Egypt, Yuugi. You want to know what my descendants are doing? They're common class, struggling for help from the government to get pushed through school and support their families. They don't even know their lineage. And because we've done our jobs correctly, they don't need to."

Yuugi paused for a moment before asking, "Is that what's been bothering you?"

"No - you've missed the whole point." None of that stuff mattered. Yami didn't know enough about it to care, either.

"Well, I like Mokuba, Yami," Yuugi concluded, "but I don't think he's the one for you. As cute as it is to see you two together, you don't love him - there's no attachment."

Talking to someone who cared about the ideal more than the reality was always work. Sometimes, Yami thought that Yuugi would never understand. He sighed in frustration.

"Firstly, there is no 'one for me'. I would like to establish that first. Do I need to remind you of how I got here? Secondly, you say that as though I have a deadline to settle down with another human being. Having a family is not only an impossibility for me - and you know why - but it's not a goal of mine. We both know what I'm going to be doing for the rest of my life - using what connections I have to keep this shop in business. That's all. When Gramps can't man the shop anymore and you're off doing your thing - which might include making a family - I'll still be here. Yami Mutoh the ghost, in the shop which sells the cards that have always defined his very being."

"Don't be so morbidly philosophical. You're pouting. Stop it," Yuugi ordered. "You avoided my entire point. Look, do you have feelings for Mokuba or not?"

It was the same question Marik had asked. Fucking romantics.

Yami shrugged. "I'm not worrying about love right now, Yuugi. When I think about it I always screw it up. That's why we're not together - that's not why I'm with Marik."

Yuugi froze for a moment, uneasy at the mention of their struggles. "You didn't screw it up," he said. "Shut up."

"I hate feeling all vulnerable like this," Yami continued. A sigh followed. "I couldn't help it, though; having Marik in my arms was too much like... like how things used to be. He wanted me - I could feel it. But we weren't going to get back together and I fucked it up like everything. If I hadn't been so zealous we could have stayed that way for almost an hour. I would have liked that." Yami hugged himself, feeling uncomfortable with how he knew he sounded. However, if there was anyone who he could be vulnerable with, it was Yuugi, and that curbed some of the embarrassment.

"You love him." Yuugi frowned.

"I told him I did. That's not the reason."

"You're talking in circles - I know that already."

Yami sighed again, feeling more foolish. He fell onto his back, spreading his limbs out on the floor. "This is stupid."

"I agree. Call Mokuba and break it off and then call Marik and tell him you'll get back together if it's not too late." Well, at least he knew where Yuugi stood on the matter.

"I can't."

"Yami!"

But it wasn't that simple. "I can't, Yuugi!" he roared, sitting up - then slid back down when he realized how loud he was.

Yuugi didn't appreciate being yelled at, either. He glared at Yami for longer than a few seconds, and then his expression dissolved into a smile.

"You like Mokuba, don't you?"

Yami tried to regain some of his composure. He made a face, sticking out his tongue. "I wouldn't be sleeping with him if I didn't like him."

"That's not true at all,"  Yuugi pointed out. "I can think of some examples. Anyway, I'd like to bring up the fact that you like like him."

What the hell was that supposed to mean? "That phrase didn't even make sense. You repeated a word to give it a second meaning. Words don't work like that." Nonetheless, he was able to surmise what was meant.

"You do, don't you?"

"I like what we have," Yami admitted.

"I like what we have," Yuugi said, as though it countered some part of Yami's statement. "But that's beyond the point. You like him. A lot."

"And what makes you think that?"

"The nights you spend over there, the fact that you won't get back together with Marik - you almost cracked today. I think you would have if you didn't."

Spending his nights with Mokuba was more out of convenience than anything else. Fucking and sleeping were often done in the same place. Ultimately, it didn't mean much. "I know where my limits are with Marik." And, admittedly, he almost always tested them.

"...do you think that you could love him? Mokuba, I mean."

Yami rolled his eyes. Such an open ended question.  "Potentially, Yuugi. I could love anyone." How else was he to answer?

"I think you can."

Another face was made in response, a weird mix of quirked eyebrows and a frown. "...good for you?"

It was strange, having Yuugi act as a sort of matchmaker. Not only because of what lay still unresolved between the two of them, but the worry. As though Yami couldn't be complete without romantic entanglement. The way he saw it, these were excursions; he'd already lived a life, had a chance for those things. Just because it hadn't been meant for him then gave him no right to infringe on the lives of others, even if they were close to him.

"You should date him," Yuugi said. "Like, go out with him."

"We go out," Yami said defensively.

"To a non-hangout spot," Yuugi said. "There's a lovely restaurant in downtown Domino..."

"We're not dating," he pointed out.

"You could. You should."

Yami considered it, at least from an objective point of view. He wasn't looking for anything quite as deep as love, but Mokuba was a romantic, like Yuugi. It couldn't hurt to repay him for the time. Or the flesh. Mokuba was an excellent conversational partner, knowledgeable and witty and willing to accept criticism. The more he thought of it, the more it seemed like a suitable option, even without the strings attached. At least it wouldn't be time wasted, if they did.

But he faltered for a second, knowing that it was a bad idea making decisions when he wasn't feeling himself. But Yuugi had always looked out for him. Rarely did his advice steer Yami the wrong way. "...do you think so?"

"That depends on you, Yami. Are you ready to get over Marik and get into something else?"

"I'm over Marik."

"You're a fucking liar," Yuugi spat, laughing. "You've rationalized not being with him, but you're not over him."

"I think I know my own thoughts, Yuugi. I'm over him."

"If you say so. Anyway, on an only somewhat related subject, if you don't want to be old and alone for the rest of your life I think you should date Mokuba. After all, he's not Marik ...or me. He's unrelated, right? Doesn't guard your dusty old Egyptian shit all day?"

"Ha ha." There wasn't much to add, honestly. Telling Yuugi that he actually planned on being old and alone would have dampened the mood.

"Think about it though. I think it's time for your relationships to be about more than sex, Yami."

If only.

What Yuugi seemed to not understand was that it was never just anything. "I don't just fuck him - I listen to him and talk to him and give him advice; we talk pretty often, actually." Yami added, "And what about you? I don't see you around here wooing anyone."

"Your age is showing," Yuugi retorted, "but I am dating a girl."

That was surprising to hear. Yami stared up at the ceiling, waiting for more information. But Yuugi didn't offer any.

"And I haven't met her? Are you sure you're not angry with me?" He remembered Yuugi throwing a bit of a tantrum, upset that he hadn't be told about Yami's escapades with Mokuba.

In fact, he also recalled a certain evening he had to sleep outside on the couch.

"Why would I be angry at you?"

But anyone in Yuugi's life was a big deal. It was hard not to be picky after everything that had happened, after all. The Duel Monsters ordeal had caused them to suffer, and lose more than they should have. In the end, it was always more difficult feeling connected to someone who didn't know about it. Being able to make up for that handicap was beyond desirable.

For Yuugi to even bring her up made her special. "I want to meet her."

"Soon," he promised.

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Alrighty then! I was in a rush when I posted this, so there weren't any notes at first, but here you go:

I like it when Yami is open and vulnerable. I just do. Hopefully things will only get more interesting from here. A couple of the prompts ahead will force me to make a decision about who's going to be involved specifically with Yami, and with Mokuba, but I'm undecided as of now. I dunno which direction I'm going to go in...

respectshipping, mokuba, be cool prompt table, marik (malik), marik, ygo, yuugi, puzzleshipping, yu-gi-oh!, yami yuugi, yami, mnemoshipping, yugioh

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