You should DEFINITELY be proud of this; it's VERY good. And complex. I'm glad I had a bit of backstory before reading this. I feel like knowing Yami's references to "his time" were significant because he doesn't quite fit in here really made them all the more poignant. And the romance was very bittersweet. And again, complicated. It's not the stereotypical, storybook "people who love each other will always be together"...sometimes life is more complicated than that. I noticed this in your Bananashipping too; you write really mature romance. Which makes me happy, because it's so unique-sounding and such a nice break from cliches.
MARIK CHARACTERIZATION FTW! I liked the idea of Marik having 'tricks' that Yami has figured out. I'm sure that even once he was redeemed, he'd still be manipulative like that. And a bit selfish. But he's also idealistic, moreso than Yami; he wants to believe they have a shot together even though there's no practical possibility for it. And the end of their kiss is very sad, the way he wants Yami more than Yami wants him, but he has to be the one to break it off. Aah, I hope he finds someone back in Egypt, because I'm feeling mad sorry for him right now. ^^
You shouldn't doubt your Marik characterization. You write functional!Marik REALLY well. He's in character, but at the same time unique from anything else I've seen in the fandom. *HIGHFIVE*
I'm afraid I don't have much in the way of concrit. My dislike of epithets instead of names is more of a personal preference issue here than something I found jarring. Um...so this was fabulous. And has been added to my LJ memories for future readings.
MARIK CHARACTERIZATION FTW! I liked the idea of Marik having 'tricks' that Yami has figured out. I'm sure that even once he was redeemed, he'd still be manipulative like that. And a bit selfish. But he's also idealistic, moreso than Yami; he wants to believe they have a shot together even though there's no practical possibility for it. And the end of their kiss is very sad, the way he wants Yami more than Yami wants him, but he has to be the one to break it off. Aah, I hope he finds someone back in Egypt, because I'm feeling mad sorry for him right now. ^^
You shouldn't doubt your Marik characterization. You write functional!Marik REALLY well. He's in character, but at the same time unique from anything else I've seen in the fandom. *HIGHFIVE*
I'm afraid I don't have much in the way of concrit. My dislike of epithets instead of names is more of a personal preference issue here than something I found jarring. Um...so this was fabulous. And has been added to my LJ memories for future readings.
Reply
Leave a comment