Oct 18, 2014 01:20
Tycho recently achieved the highest level of Lap Cat, outsripping Iella, who is still essentially on Grade 3. Cats may occasionally function at a lower level their actual rank of Lap Cat, but they retain the skills and rank of the highest grade achieved at all times.
LAP CAT
Grade 3: LAP CAT. The cat will sit on a lap so long as some attention is being paid to it, in the form of stroking/caressing. The cat may keep changing position, and may rub its face against the sittee (person being sat upon), or make sounds in order to draw attention to itself if attention is withdrawn. Loss of attention for more than a couple of minutes, or a minor change in the sittee's position will be enough to make the cat jump off the lap indignantly.
Grade 2: LAP COSY. This cat is happy to settle down and let the sittee watch television/read a book/play with small gadget, or talk to a friend. The cat is relaxed and does not require near-contant, hands-on attention, though it will appreciate an occasional rub or stroke. More distinct changes shifts of position by the sittee will cause the cat to leave, especially in the first few minutes of sitting. or after 30-60 minutes, when the cat begins to be bored. The Lap Cosy rarely settles for longer than this
Grade 1: LAP FUNGUS. Often commences the sit as a Lap Cosy. After a short time, the cat settles itself across the lap and falls asleep. The more experienced Lap Fungus may fall asleep almost at once. The Lap Fungus is not easily disturbed; if woken by a change in the sittee's position, it will rapidly return to sleep once the movement has ceased. The Lap Fungus may resemble a warm, furry growth on the sittee's lap for some length of time. Once woken by a sittee who wishes to move, the Lap Fungus will look indignant, while continuing to sprawl bonelessly across the lap, inspite of initial movements towards rising by the sittee. The Lap Fungus may be displaced by prodding, verbal commands, lifting to the floor, or actually rising till the Lap Fungus has no choice but to jump off with as much dignity as possible.
humour,
cats,
tycho