Rooms for rent.
Although I love craigslist, I just spend my entire Sunday showing BATSHIT CRAZY PEOPLE my rooms for rent. How these people managed to trick me via email into thinking they were not nutso is an amazing feat.
I hate looking for new roommates. A very sad and sudden incident has resulted in some life changes in the past few weeks, and so we have rooms available.
LiveJournal people, you are generally not crazy fucks, right? Please, if you are not a psychopath, feel free to read up on my ad. I don't know how to create a cut, so here's the mega long ad. Sorry for the length. At least its entertaining.
ROOMS FOR RENT - NW CLAIREMONT (BAY HO)
Come April 1st, 2 rooms in our house will be available for rent to some lucky people. First up is Garage Fort. It is roughly 18x11, is carpeted, has lights and electricity. It is sectioned off from the laundry area by 2 large Ikea wardrobes. These may or may not be here come April 1st, so be prepared to erect something there to give yourself privacy. Ceilings are open to the roof, garage door hinges stick out and are jabby. You can hear everything outside, like busses and kids and people walking by. But this means you can also hear potential assassins coming to get you. Or ninjas. $395
We are respectful of the space, and will not waltz in to do laundry at 4am. However, if its 3 in the afternoon, we will probably knock and walk in to retrieve our clothes. We can’t see into your room, so feel free to continue with your morning nude pilates.
The other room is not as manly as Garage Fort. It is Whitebread Regular Bedroom. It is $575, and offers nothing cool other than sunshine and big window with a view to the lush backyard. I think its about 12x12. It features electrical outlets and wall-to-wall carpeting. Not as rugged and adventursome as Garage Fort, but it has its benefits.
We share bills 4 ways; water, power and cable. Cable includes wireless internet, house phone with free long distance (save your cell minutes and use the landline. Do not call anyone in Abu Dhabi) and all cable channels including premium ones (HBO, Cinemax, etc). We have a DVR, so you never have to miss an episode of Dr. Phil. If you really watch Dr. Phil, you can’t live here.
House is on a corner lot, big back yard, with brick patio, bbq, patio furniture, fire bowl, plants, and church pew. We do not go to church. Do not ask questions about the pew. Also we have a gardener. Around the side is a shed for bikes and such. Double car driveway, ample street parking. Large park across the street. View of Mount Soledad from our backyard. Also view of Safety Patrollers from the school across the street, but they are less picturesque to look at. Pedophiles should not live here. The temptation would be too great. Also we don’t like pedophiles.
House has 3 real bedrooms, and 2 baths. You will keep your stuff in and share the half-bath with one other guy. “Great Room” houses a corner fire place, TV, old school Nintendo (yes, I have Duck Hunt. Yes, I have the original gun), comfy furniture, dining area that seats 6, piano, and 2 sets of sliding glass doors. Kitchen is a good size, with dishwasher and stainless steel gas range. It has a warming drawer. Do not put inappropriate things in the warming drawer.
Front room is my office, and the first room you enter when coming into the house. It gives the impression that we are all very smart. Well, we are. We all have at least a Bachelor’s degree. If you can’t spell or read, you can’t live here. But if you can’t read, you wouldn’t know that I just told you you can’t live here, so never mind. I’ll tell you when you inevitably call.
This neighborhood is great. Its safe, lots of kids and dogs running around, you can walk at night and not get mugged. 10-15 minute bike ride to the bay. Its all uphill on the way back, and that sucks, but getting there is great. We are located on the mesa above the 52/5 intersection. We are bordered by UTC, La Jolla and PB. Its just moments to the freeway, and you can get to La Jolla shores in 7 minutes. That is assuming that the entire state of Arizona isn’t in town. When that happens, you are looking at roughly 21 hours.
We are one dude and one chick, 25 and 29 years old. You CANNOT BE A SMOKER. I can’t stress this enough. No smoking at all. No pets (we have a dog who is a Jedi Master), no couples, no room shares. No kids. No families of rabid badgers.
Please be between 25-35, preferably male. You need to be employed. You need to be clean. You need to be the kind of person who brushes their teeth and showers regularly. Have a sense of humour, be social with us. We are looking for people who do not suck. If you suck, do not repond
Seriously. We really value the feeling of "home", and would appreciate those who care about it as well.
Get hip to it.
pictures @ http://sandiego.craigslist.org/csd/roo/593662285.html