Living Disaster
LIFE: Well, the only reason I am updating is because it is 3:30 in the morning I have work in like 5 hours. I once again am sitting here in the night time wearing only my skivvies. I just finished preparing, cooking, and consuming 5 whole French toast’s, and then I realized that, hey my life is not going anywhere and probably never will be. I hear it everyday from my parents, but honestly who listens to them. I have a job, but it is nothing like when I was working construction. Unfortunately I was laid off. It was cool because I got unemployment checks, which was a good load of money every two weeks. But that ran out and I started working at circuit city. Which to say the least isn’t really a job. I mean I work there all day, well let me rephrase that. I keep busy my entire shift. That is when I am there. It’s still money every two weeks, but about 1/3 of my unemployment. I work maybe 40 hours in a two week period, and I WAS getting paid more for doing nothing. The worst part of the whole situation is- I didn’t save a dime of it. Out of about 6 grand I didn’t put one red cent of it in the bank. I opened an account when I started getting unemployment, but never put any away. I currently have $50.09 in that account, and the 50.00 was to open it. The 9 cents, well, that’s all interest.
THE PREDICAMENT: I have a job offering for about 15 bucks an hour- 40 or more hours a week, and full benefits. But, it is working for the same company as my father. What better then that you ask? Well, frankly anything. I mean he is a good guy, but if I fuck up- this is a real job, a career, if I fuck up it will go back to my father. “Your son…. And well if your son…” If I wasn’t what everyone expected me to be it would be on my dad’s shoulders. Plus I hate taking orders from anyone. The 5 o’clock starts and the shitty conditions, I just don’t think I could do it again.
MY CAR: is a P.O.S., to put that in laymen terms- garbage. The starter is bad so when it won’t start up I have to crawl under my car and bang on it with my tire iron. Also at about 50 it starts to jerk. Once I pass 50 it is fine and anything below 50 is fine to. I don’t understand. I need to clean it and get an oil change and a tune up- again I don’t have the money, I mean I can clean it, just not the other stuff.
FOOTBALL: I’m not playing football anymore. It just wasn’t worth it. Simi-pro my ass! I was still a dominating force, but this league was going nowhere. We were losing every game. It’s not like I am a sore loser, but this wasn’t a real team. Everyone was out for there own highlight reel. I would love more then anything to play ball again but I can’t. I fucked up in high school and didn’t get to go to college like all my friends. I went to Macomb. College yes, but really it wasn’t. No football team, none of the real university stuff.
EDUCATION: I want to go back to school this year, but I don’t now how to go about it and I still wont have enough money to go there. I was planning on going back to Macomb for one more year an then transferring to Wayne, but I looks like that idea is down the drain.
APARTMENT: I need to move out. It’s cool here, sometimes. I’ve spent the past 4 years building up a room in my basement, tweaking it and molding it to what I wanted. And I am about finished. The other day I was asked to clear a place in the basement by my parents. I asked what for? And they told me that they were going to move there birds down there. THAT’S OVER 20 FUCKING BIRDS. I will never sleep again, not that I do anyways but what little I do get, those hours will begin to dwindle. AGAIN- I don’t have a pocket full of change to give to a homeless man, how can I afford to move?
RANDOM: If I could go back in time- I would go a couple years back when I was at my old house. I walked to Taco Bell everyday one summer. They had the Godzilla theme going and I was probably the first person to know about it. A pulled off my ticket and got a “Z”. I thought nothing of it and put the piece away- later on I saw a commercial about the Taco Bell game. Spell out Godzilla and win a million dollars. I went there everyday and finally spelt G O D I L L A. I looked everywhere for the “Z” piece and could never find it. That would’ve been something if I could’ve found that “Z”. True story.
RIPPED: I bought a lifetime membership to a gym, I have been there once. I’m well over 250 pounds and am beginning to lose all my strength. I failed at 25 correct push-ups, and probably could not run a ¼ mile anymore. Yes, it’s hard to believe, but at one time I could run over two miles without a break. I’m just… fat. Really there are no other words for it. I am a fat man.
HUMOR: I really don’t think that I am funny anymore. I mean, yeah I still occasionally can get the crowed going, but lately even I wont laugh at things I say. I miss the times sitting in Bonnie’s basement just the group of us. You know who you are.
I am bi-polar. These sprees of bitching just happen, but I feel like I am going into depression again, and I really don’t want to go see my therapist again. Seriously she is kind of creepy.
If anyone has any kind of advice I am willing to listen please help me figure out my life.
THE PREDICAMENT: I have a job offering for about 15 bucks an hour- 40 or more hours a week, and full benefits. But, it is working for the same company as my father. What better then that you ask? Well, frankly anything. I mean he is a good guy, but if I fuck up- this is a real job, a career, if I fuck up it will go back to my father. “Your son…. And well if your son…” If I wasn’t what everyone expected me to be it would be on my dad’s shoulders. Plus I hate taking orders from anyone. The 5 o’clock starts and the shitty conditions, I just don’t think I could do it again.
MY CAR: is a P.O.S., to put that in laymen terms- garbage. The starter is bad so when it won’t start up I have to crawl under my car and bang on it with my tire iron. Also at about 50 it starts to jerk. Once I pass 50 it is fine and anything below 50 is fine to. I don’t understand. I need to clean it and get an oil change and a tune up- again I don’t have the money, I mean I can clean it, just not the other stuff.
FOOTBALL: I’m not playing football anymore. It just wasn’t worth it. Simi-pro my ass! I was still a dominating force, but this league was going nowhere. We were losing every game. It’s not like I am a sore loser, but this wasn’t a real team. Everyone was out for there own highlight reel. I would love more then anything to play ball again but I can’t. I fucked up in high school and didn’t get to go to college like all my friends. I went to Macomb. College yes, but really it wasn’t. No football team, none of the real university stuff.
EDUCATION: I want to go back to school this year, but I don’t now how to go about it and I still wont have enough money to go there. I was planning on going back to Macomb for one more year an then transferring to Wayne, but I looks like that idea is down the drain.
APARTMENT: I need to move out. It’s cool here, sometimes. I’ve spent the past 4 years building up a room in my basement, tweaking it and molding it to what I wanted. And I am about finished. The other day I was asked to clear a place in the basement by my parents. I asked what for? And they told me that they were going to move there birds down there. THAT’S OVER 20 FUCKING BIRDS. I will never sleep again, not that I do anyways but what little I do get, those hours will begin to dwindle. AGAIN- I don’t have a pocket full of change to give to a homeless man, how can I afford to move?
RANDOM: If I could go back in time- I would go a couple years back when I was at my old house. I walked to Taco Bell everyday one summer. They had the Godzilla theme going and I was probably the first person to know about it. A pulled off my ticket and got a “Z”. I thought nothing of it and put the piece away- later on I saw a commercial about the Taco Bell game. Spell out Godzilla and win a million dollars. I went there everyday and finally spelt G O D I L L A. I looked everywhere for the “Z” piece and could never find it. That would’ve been something if I could’ve found that “Z”. True story.
RIPPED: I bought a lifetime membership to a gym, I have been there once. I’m well over 250 pounds and am beginning to lose all my strength. I failed at 25 correct push-ups, and probably could not run a ¼ mile anymore. Yes, it’s hard to believe, but at one time I could run over two miles without a break. I’m just… fat. Really there are no other words for it. I am a fat man.
HUMOR: I really don’t think that I am funny anymore. I mean, yeah I still occasionally can get the crowed going, but lately even I wont laugh at things I say. I miss the times sitting in Bonnie’s basement just the group of us. You know who you are.
I am bi-polar. These sprees of bitching just happen, but I feel like I am going into depression again, and I really don’t want to go see my therapist again. Seriously she is kind of creepy.
If anyone has any kind of advice I am willing to listen please help me figure out my life.