Conversations with my mother
She's trying to mine me for information about getting a fantasy novel published, for a friend's daughter.
Mom: Okay, but what about your e-publishers? Can you give me a list of them?
Samy: Those aren't going to help her. Most e-publishers want romance.
Mom: Well, hers might have romance in it, I didn't ask.
Samy: Okay, when I say "romance", I'm trying to imply "smut".
Mom: Like sex-sex-sex, or like sex scenes in a romance novel?
Me: There are varying heat levels, but yeah, they usually want sex.
Mom: *said like she thinks I'm an idiot* Well, most fantasy novels have sex.
Me: No, most straight-up fantasy novels do not.
Mom: Name one fantasy book that doesn't have--
Me: Lord of the Rings. Chronicles of Narnia. Harry--
Mom: *does a doubletake* Oh snap.
Mom: Okay, but what about your e-publishers? Can you give me a list of them?
Samy: Those aren't going to help her. Most e-publishers want romance.
Mom: Well, hers might have romance in it, I didn't ask.
Samy: Okay, when I say "romance", I'm trying to imply "smut".
Mom: Like sex-sex-sex, or like sex scenes in a romance novel?
Me: There are varying heat levels, but yeah, they usually want sex.
Mom: *said like she thinks I'm an idiot* Well, most fantasy novels have sex.
Me: No, most straight-up fantasy novels do not.
Mom: Name one fantasy book that doesn't have--
Me: Lord of the Rings. Chronicles of Narnia. Harry--
Mom: *does a doubletake* Oh snap.