Describe your worst failure.
It was small, brown, and furry. Quite harmless, really. Just a common, ordinary garden spider. Certainly it was far more afraid of Samwise peering down than he was of it.
But seeing the spider seated on the rose petal had a curious effect on Samwise. It sent a sudden, aching chill through the very heart of him in spite of the warm summer day. It wasn't so much the spider itself as the memories it invoked of a time not long ago. Certainly not so long that he would have forgotten his own part in it or the burning shame at what he'd done.
Or rather, what he had not done.
Samwise closed his eyes, his expression pained. Within his mind's eye he saw the pale, lifeless form on the rocky ground, wrapped round in sticky silvered threads. All that could be seen was that familiar, dear face, still as death and cold, so cold!
Far worse than believing Frodo dead was losing the hope that he might yet still live. He'd vowed to stay with his beloved Master and protect him on his road to the Mountain of Fire. In the Spider's lair Samwise had forgotten that promise, very nearly to the ruin of all.
It was something he had never forgiven himself for, nor would he ever.
But there was no need to be taking his mistakes out on another, no matter how much better it would make him feel, if just for a time.
Gently plucking the petal from the rose, Samwise set it down upon the grassy ground and watched the spider scuttle away.
But seeing the spider seated on the rose petal had a curious effect on Samwise. It sent a sudden, aching chill through the very heart of him in spite of the warm summer day. It wasn't so much the spider itself as the memories it invoked of a time not long ago. Certainly not so long that he would have forgotten his own part in it or the burning shame at what he'd done.
Or rather, what he had not done.
Samwise closed his eyes, his expression pained. Within his mind's eye he saw the pale, lifeless form on the rocky ground, wrapped round in sticky silvered threads. All that could be seen was that familiar, dear face, still as death and cold, so cold!
Far worse than believing Frodo dead was losing the hope that he might yet still live. He'd vowed to stay with his beloved Master and protect him on his road to the Mountain of Fire. In the Spider's lair Samwise had forgotten that promise, very nearly to the ruin of all.
It was something he had never forgiven himself for, nor would he ever.
But there was no need to be taking his mistakes out on another, no matter how much better it would make him feel, if just for a time.
Gently plucking the petal from the rose, Samwise set it down upon the grassy ground and watched the spider scuttle away.