Identify the fake Colbert quote
So I recently cracked I Am America (And So Can You!) See if you can identify which of these quotes is not his:
"If there's a bigger contributor to left-wing elitist brainwashing than colleges and universities, I'd like to see it. There's an old saying, 'A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.' Which means a lot of knowledge must be a really dangerous thing. And it is. Look no further than the example of Ted Kaczynski..."
"Now I'll be the first to admit (yes, even before Rush Limbaugh) that Mz. Coulter is pretty smart for a woman. And let's not forget hot. Can you imagine her bending over a hot stove? Rrrowl. But gosh darn it, she's just too soft on those 'leftist liberal types'. I mean, really."
"One of Pop's most important jobs is protecting his little family. That's why he needs to sleep with that 9mm under his pillow. And pack it with hollow point bullets. At the least sign of movement in his castle past 8 PM, he should wake up firing. Let God, Allah, or Hanuman the monkey god sort them out, am I right? (I am.)"
"Upton Sinclair wrote a pro-labor book about the Chicago stockyards called The Jungle that pointed out minor flaws in the meat industry, such as the frequency of severed limbs. Big deal. I knew an accountant who got his arm chopped off in a filing cabinet. But you'll never hear about that in a book."
"Baby carrots are trying to turn me gay."
"If there's a bigger contributor to left-wing elitist brainwashing than colleges and universities, I'd like to see it. There's an old saying, 'A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.' Which means a lot of knowledge must be a really dangerous thing. And it is. Look no further than the example of Ted Kaczynski..."
"Now I'll be the first to admit (yes, even before Rush Limbaugh) that Mz. Coulter is pretty smart for a woman. And let's not forget hot. Can you imagine her bending over a hot stove? Rrrowl. But gosh darn it, she's just too soft on those 'leftist liberal types'. I mean, really."
"One of Pop's most important jobs is protecting his little family. That's why he needs to sleep with that 9mm under his pillow. And pack it with hollow point bullets. At the least sign of movement in his castle past 8 PM, he should wake up firing. Let God, Allah, or Hanuman the monkey god sort them out, am I right? (I am.)"
"Upton Sinclair wrote a pro-labor book about the Chicago stockyards called The Jungle that pointed out minor flaws in the meat industry, such as the frequency of severed limbs. Big deal. I knew an accountant who got his arm chopped off in a filing cabinet. But you'll never hear about that in a book."
"Baby carrots are trying to turn me gay."