City Men, Country Boys
You never realize quite how different the corners and crevices of America are until you are put together with a vast cross-section of the Republican voting populace like the U.S. Army.
There were are the "city-folk" who don't see ourselves as such, but are rather referred to in such pejorative terms by others. We have small cars and love things that are considered foreign, alien, or simply 'gay' by our counterparts.
By contrast, we look at the "country boys" like adorable knuckle-draggers who can't help their deficiencies. After all, they were just 'born that way'. They indulge in all manner of disgusting tobacco habits and drink way too much.
We do, however, start a lot more shit at bars and let the brawlers of the bunch, with their drunken retard strength, carry the fight.
There are other anomalies as well. The Gay. The Democrat, but none stood out as much, in our class, as The Jew.
This was Lieutenant Moss, a man who despite being a decently fast runner, gave the appearance of being obese from the way the fat seemed to concentrate around his face. He was miserly, which he attributed to his Jewishness. He had a huge nose, which again was attributed to his Jewishness, and certainly, anything he could think of was some derivation from his religious ancestry.
He also had a hot girlfriend which he wouldn't let anyone forget about, except when he was ogling other females or trying [poorly] to sleep with the female lieutenants of the class.
She eventually had the courage to fly in and visit us. Bravo, I must say. I wouldn't have done it. Of course, instead of being surrounded by Delaware's own brand of popped-collar douchebag, she was surrounded by the country boys, as all of the city-folk except for me, were often in their own little clique which I did not belong to, mostly because I didn't gel my hair before going to work.
I smiled in the corner as she was dogpiled, every guy clamoring for her attention, because as they saw it, Moss was unworthy. He was, certainly, but it was always a lateral trade. The least subtle was the 6' 10" ogre from Missouri that would wait until Moss was getting a beer to lay such winners as, "Why do you only deal with those 'city boys'?" while leaning powerfully into her personal space.
At one point the crowd's drunken attention was on the pool table rather than Moss' girl, which gave me the opportunity to ask the one question I had been dying to know.
"Why Moss?"
Now, don't get me wrong. This was not an attempt to swoop, or woo her, but it was a genuine question. The first eight weeks were more than enough time for me to build a fairly substantial disgust for him, so I had to know.
"I don't know..." she said, squinting, and looking off into the distance, as though the wallpaper would have the answers.
Moss would come back, shitty beer in one hand and generic cocktail in the other, explaining how he just convinced the bartender to take a dollar off the cocktail because they didn't have the vodka his girlfriend wanted. He would sit down next to his girl and put his arm around her, but she was still looking off.
Someone made a joke. Moss laughed his disgusting, open mouthed guffaw right into her ear. She winced.
I smiled.
The wheel of chaos continues to turn.
There were are the "city-folk" who don't see ourselves as such, but are rather referred to in such pejorative terms by others. We have small cars and love things that are considered foreign, alien, or simply 'gay' by our counterparts.
By contrast, we look at the "country boys" like adorable knuckle-draggers who can't help their deficiencies. After all, they were just 'born that way'. They indulge in all manner of disgusting tobacco habits and drink way too much.
We do, however, start a lot more shit at bars and let the brawlers of the bunch, with their drunken retard strength, carry the fight.
There are other anomalies as well. The Gay. The Democrat, but none stood out as much, in our class, as The Jew.
This was Lieutenant Moss, a man who despite being a decently fast runner, gave the appearance of being obese from the way the fat seemed to concentrate around his face. He was miserly, which he attributed to his Jewishness. He had a huge nose, which again was attributed to his Jewishness, and certainly, anything he could think of was some derivation from his religious ancestry.
He also had a hot girlfriend which he wouldn't let anyone forget about, except when he was ogling other females or trying [poorly] to sleep with the female lieutenants of the class.
She eventually had the courage to fly in and visit us. Bravo, I must say. I wouldn't have done it. Of course, instead of being surrounded by Delaware's own brand of popped-collar douchebag, she was surrounded by the country boys, as all of the city-folk except for me, were often in their own little clique which I did not belong to, mostly because I didn't gel my hair before going to work.
I smiled in the corner as she was dogpiled, every guy clamoring for her attention, because as they saw it, Moss was unworthy. He was, certainly, but it was always a lateral trade. The least subtle was the 6' 10" ogre from Missouri that would wait until Moss was getting a beer to lay such winners as, "Why do you only deal with those 'city boys'?" while leaning powerfully into her personal space.
At one point the crowd's drunken attention was on the pool table rather than Moss' girl, which gave me the opportunity to ask the one question I had been dying to know.
"Why Moss?"
Now, don't get me wrong. This was not an attempt to swoop, or woo her, but it was a genuine question. The first eight weeks were more than enough time for me to build a fairly substantial disgust for him, so I had to know.
"I don't know..." she said, squinting, and looking off into the distance, as though the wallpaper would have the answers.
Moss would come back, shitty beer in one hand and generic cocktail in the other, explaining how he just convinced the bartender to take a dollar off the cocktail because they didn't have the vodka his girlfriend wanted. He would sit down next to his girl and put his arm around her, but she was still looking off.
Someone made a joke. Moss laughed his disgusting, open mouthed guffaw right into her ear. She winced.
I smiled.
The wheel of chaos continues to turn.