Title: Airplane Fun
Author: Jun
Rating: PG
Pairings: None
Summary: AU. Mukahi is bored, so he decides to have some fun with the intercom.
Disclaimer: Not mine
Airplane Fun
“Yuushi, I’m getting bored!” a short pilot complained bouncing up and down in his seat.
“Gakuto, it’s only been two hours,” the other pilot replied calmly. “Stay still.”
“Only? My feet are asleep, the plane’s on autopilot, what could go wrong? Come on, can I at least walk down the aisles a couple of times?”
“Wait until Jirou finishes his route.”
“Are you kidding me? Sleepyhead can’t even take a few steps before falling asleep let alone the whole plane!”
Oshitari sighed as his co-pilot continued complaining loudly. Yes, after graduating from high school, the two went on to becoming pilots for some reason. Jirou, too sleepy to stay awake with the controls, decided to help out making routes around the plane to check to make sure everyone’s seatbelt was fastened properly. This flight was heading from San Francisco to Japan.
Mukahi pouted as he stared at the bleak air around the windshield. There was nothing interesting to stare at, he and Jirou had already played the ‘I Spy’ game, and he had forgotten to bring a book or something to entertain him while the plane was at cruising speed.
Wait, entertain…
A mischievous smirk lit up the redhead’s face as he reached for the intercom button on the control panel. Oshitari saw this and turned to stare at Mukahi cocking an eyebrow.
“Gakuto, we’re not there yet,” he pointed out.
Mukahi only replied, “I know, I want to have some fun.” With that, he pressed the button and said, “Good evening, minna-san. This is your captain speaking. There is absolutely no cause for alarm.” With a grin, Mukahi let go of the button and leaned back in his seat.
“Anou… Gakuto… nani shiteru no?” Oshitari asked.
“Just having some fun!” the other replied in a singsong voice. He waited for a few seconds to let the confusion build up. “Hm, Yuushi, what emergency should anyone be concerned about?”
“The wings on fire, maybe? I don’t know if you should-”
“Thanks!” Then once again pressing the intercom, he said, “The wings are not on fire.”
Realizing what his smaller companion was doing, Oshitari was going to retort or ask Mukahi why he was doing this before a sleepy voice interrupted his train of thoughts.
“Route’s all done. Mukahi, you can stretch your legs now before you give Oshitari a headache.”
“Aa, Jirou! Just who I was looking for!” Mukahi said turning around in his seat. Boy, he was getting a kick out of this. “Tell me, is there anyone walking around the cabin?”
The sleepy attendant peered out of the curtain and said, “There’s a man heading for the lavatory.”
“Perfect! Let me know when he gets there.”
“Doushite?” Jirou asked now starting to wake up.
“You’ll see! Just tell me when you see him get to the lavatory.”
Mukahi couldn’t sit still as he thought of the next naughty thing he would do. After about a half a minute, he started jumping up and down in his seat from the anticipation. What’s taking so long? Is the man old or what? When is he-
“He closed the door!” Jirou said.
In a flash, Mukahi pressed on the intercom and said quickly, “Please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts immediately.”
The three inside the pilot cabin could hear loud scrambling as the passengers ran to their seats and pulled up their tray compartments. Mukahi, on a roll, came up with something else as well.
“Attention, this a reminder to go over the safety procedures, and-” Then cupping his hands around his mouth, he made a weird noise that sounded like the engines were clogging. “Remember to listen for the alarm.” He then made an imitation of the alarm.
“Sugoi! Ne, ne, let me try!” Jirou said bouncing up and down finally catching up on what was going on.
Deciding that he might as well share the fun, Mukahi pulled Jirou over to the intercom and said, “Say something that’ll get them scrambling.”
Thinking quickly, Jirou pressed the button and said in a low voice, “Minna-san, please reach for the life vests overhead!” Turning the intercom off, Jirou said excitedly, “How was that? How was that? Was it good? Ne, ne, ne?”
“Perfect!”
“Jirou, the life vests are located under the seats,” Oshitari said although his voice sounded pinched around the edges from trying not to laugh. Mukahi was starting to rub off on him.
Mukahi shrugged. “Oh well, more fun for us to do.”
Oshitari grinned an evil grin. Before the redhead could react, the pilot pushed the button. “Minna-san, we apologize, please reach for the life vests under your seat, but do not unfasten your seat belts.”
Mukahi didn’t know whether to choke Oshitari for stealing his fun or hug him for joining in. He decided on the hugging. “Go Yuushi!”
“My turn!” Jirou called pressing the button. “Attention, the emergency spring in the lavatory should be pressed.”
Remembering Oshitari’s last part of his last command, Mukahi added, “But do not unfasten your seatbelts.”
It took the three mischievous men all of their willpower not to start hysterically laughing. This was so funny watching, or hearing, all of the clueless passengers scramble in confusion.
“Attention, the spring in the lavatory must be pressed immediately!” Oshitari said trying to sound urgent.
Jirou quickly said, “But do not unfasten your seatbelts!”
Mukahi lost it. He broke down howling in laughter. Oshitari and Jirou were still trying their best not to laugh. This definitely got rid of their previous two-hour boredom.
“Gakuto, maybe we should stop…” Oshitari said his voice pinched around the edges.
“What? No way!” the redhead retorted back. “This is fun!”
“Oh, what should we try now?” Jirou asked excitedly as he peeked out of the curtain. “Everyone’s scrambling around. I see some of the luggage compartments are starting to jingle, too.”
“Luggage compartments? Good idea!” Making a beeline for the intercom, Mukahi said, “Please remove your luggage from the luggage compartments and move them to the others side of the cabin!”
“But do not unfasten your seatbelts!” Oshitari added.
“And now, tea will be served,” Jirou piped up.
All three lost their self-control and broke down laughing. This was so much fun! Mukahi hadn’t had this much fun since he played that joke on Atobe where he switched his shampoos on purpose (which later earned him 100 laps from his later purple-haired buchou).
“Anou… Mukahi,” Jirou said quietly with a shocked look on his face as he looked down the hall towards the passenger cabin.
“Nande Jirou?” the redhead asked.
“They’re all gone.”
Silence filled the pilot’s cabin as the realization sunk in.
“What do you mean ‘they’re all gone’?” Oshitari asked.
“They jumped,” Jirou replied.
Once again, silence filled the cabin. Then all three broke down laughing. Who cares if they got fired? This was so funny their insides were hurting!
After finally calming down, Mukahi said, “You know, I wouldn’t be surprise if there really was an emergency.”
Owari.