second post in long time
yea, ok, i know, two posts in a day is a little excessive, but like i said, i got some catching up to do.
i have to admit, this afternoon's post was a bit bitchy, but i was still under the effects of what i now know to be "a philadelphia."
have you ever had one of those days where you wake up and think, "this is gonna be a shitty day" and it turns out to be one of the best days of your life? not necessarily because you did anything amazing or were touched in any remarkable way, but one of those days that you just felt happy to be around. i hope you have, because to me, days like that are one of God's greatest blessings. it's just a little reminder of how little it takes to be truly happy. we all fantasize about the perfect life and become preoccupied with huge houses filled with mountains of stuff and truckloads of money to fulfill our every wish and whim, and we lose sight of the fact that the perfect life has always been there, waiting for us to realize it. sure, you may not have it all, but who really can? in the end, who can actually hold onto all that stuff anyway? yeah, i know it sounds like i'm drunk or something, but i just kinda came to a realization somewhere in the last hour or so. now you don't really need to know what exactly that realization is, but suffice it to say, it has helped me out a lot. for a long time i've felt like there's this hole, like i want to throw up but i can't(i know that sounds gross, but bear with me). tonight, for the first time, i felt a different kind of whole(notice my clever play on words?). i felt like instead of satisfying that need to throw up, i got some much needed medicine and made myself feel better.
as i read over this again, it feels like i'm writing the conclusion to a cheesy speech by a guy at a self-help seminar(which i find to be ludicrously hypocritical, since you're not really helping yourself, you're listening to a guy tell you how you should "help" yourself, which usually involves buying their book), but i feel really good right now. it's almost to the point where i don't want to go to sleep for fear that i won't feel this way in the morning.
but anyway, i hope you can understand a little bit of what i'm saying, it all makes sense in my head, so you'll just have to deal with the abridged version. don't you ever wonder why you can never really explain the things that go on in your head that matter to you the most? i mean, if i was prattling about some stupid video game or idiotic thing that i did today, you would hear it in my most verbose mode of communication, but when i actually try to say something like this, all i can manage is something that's not even a shred of how good i feel right now. my only true regret is that i know there are some people out there who are really close to me who can't realize this happiness for themselves, and the fact that i can't share this with them in any way that they could understand makes me wish a hundred times over that this realization had come to them and not me.
so in closing, even though it feels hard sometimes, just try to feel good about your life, because whether it seems that way or not, your life IS perfect. the fact that you are here and who you are makes this world so many times better than if you weren't.
laters :P
i have to admit, this afternoon's post was a bit bitchy, but i was still under the effects of what i now know to be "a philadelphia."
have you ever had one of those days where you wake up and think, "this is gonna be a shitty day" and it turns out to be one of the best days of your life? not necessarily because you did anything amazing or were touched in any remarkable way, but one of those days that you just felt happy to be around. i hope you have, because to me, days like that are one of God's greatest blessings. it's just a little reminder of how little it takes to be truly happy. we all fantasize about the perfect life and become preoccupied with huge houses filled with mountains of stuff and truckloads of money to fulfill our every wish and whim, and we lose sight of the fact that the perfect life has always been there, waiting for us to realize it. sure, you may not have it all, but who really can? in the end, who can actually hold onto all that stuff anyway? yeah, i know it sounds like i'm drunk or something, but i just kinda came to a realization somewhere in the last hour or so. now you don't really need to know what exactly that realization is, but suffice it to say, it has helped me out a lot. for a long time i've felt like there's this hole, like i want to throw up but i can't(i know that sounds gross, but bear with me). tonight, for the first time, i felt a different kind of whole(notice my clever play on words?). i felt like instead of satisfying that need to throw up, i got some much needed medicine and made myself feel better.
as i read over this again, it feels like i'm writing the conclusion to a cheesy speech by a guy at a self-help seminar(which i find to be ludicrously hypocritical, since you're not really helping yourself, you're listening to a guy tell you how you should "help" yourself, which usually involves buying their book), but i feel really good right now. it's almost to the point where i don't want to go to sleep for fear that i won't feel this way in the morning.
but anyway, i hope you can understand a little bit of what i'm saying, it all makes sense in my head, so you'll just have to deal with the abridged version. don't you ever wonder why you can never really explain the things that go on in your head that matter to you the most? i mean, if i was prattling about some stupid video game or idiotic thing that i did today, you would hear it in my most verbose mode of communication, but when i actually try to say something like this, all i can manage is something that's not even a shred of how good i feel right now. my only true regret is that i know there are some people out there who are really close to me who can't realize this happiness for themselves, and the fact that i can't share this with them in any way that they could understand makes me wish a hundred times over that this realization had come to them and not me.
so in closing, even though it feels hard sometimes, just try to feel good about your life, because whether it seems that way or not, your life IS perfect. the fact that you are here and who you are makes this world so many times better than if you weren't.
laters :P