Because I'm masochistic that way . . .
I remember I was once asked why I debate. I answered "Because I love it." I'm addicted to that adrenaline rush you get when you deliver your speech. But it seems that I am falling out of love. And its not that I'm any less addicted to that aforementioned adrenaline rush but because of all the issues certain people attach to it. Albeit I'm not the only member who has become averse to it.
Being a good member has been disincentivized by all the issues that I'm not surprised that more and more members seem to be disappearing one by one (or desperately wanting to disappear). I myself must admit to missing a GA simply because I did not want to get involved in issues that
I thought would be brought up. Also I must admit that lately I have lost the will to train or submit requirements. This of course is so unlike last year when I was nearly a permanent fixture in every activity and crashed training houses that weren't even my own.
But now in DS witty banter has morphed into an excuse to be outright shamelessly mean, passion has become a front for selfish fulfillment of over-competitive egos, camaraderie has been replaced by out-of-necessity-civility. This is not the organization I joined; this is not the DS I fell in love with.
An alumna friend of mine once questioned me, "So why stay? Madali lang naman mawala sa DS, madami na gumawa nun. Why torture yourself?" My answer - "because I'm masochistic that way."
Just yesterday I realized, thats love baby. Its being committed to something even when the sparkle is gone, even when it gets hard, and even when you think its no longer worth it.
So I am going to muster whatever little will I have in me to honor my orgwork commitments, drag my butt to whatever major activity, actually submit requirements, pray to the heavens above that issues stay away from me, and hope against hope that there are others who too are 'masochistic that way'.
Being a good member has been disincentivized by all the issues that I'm not surprised that more and more members seem to be disappearing one by one (or desperately wanting to disappear). I myself must admit to missing a GA simply because I did not want to get involved in issues that
I thought would be brought up. Also I must admit that lately I have lost the will to train or submit requirements. This of course is so unlike last year when I was nearly a permanent fixture in every activity and crashed training houses that weren't even my own.
But now in DS witty banter has morphed into an excuse to be outright shamelessly mean, passion has become a front for selfish fulfillment of over-competitive egos, camaraderie has been replaced by out-of-necessity-civility. This is not the organization I joined; this is not the DS I fell in love with.
An alumna friend of mine once questioned me, "So why stay? Madali lang naman mawala sa DS, madami na gumawa nun. Why torture yourself?" My answer - "because I'm masochistic that way."
Just yesterday I realized, thats love baby. Its being committed to something even when the sparkle is gone, even when it gets hard, and even when you think its no longer worth it.
So I am going to muster whatever little will I have in me to honor my orgwork commitments, drag my butt to whatever major activity, actually submit requirements, pray to the heavens above that issues stay away from me, and hope against hope that there are others who too are 'masochistic that way'.