Turns out, the lady is a tramp.
Yeah, so never mind my last post. I just don’t handle disappointment well at all. I mean for as much as I have to fight my pessimism and struggle to be not cynical; I really FUCKING hate it when I would have benefited from being pessimistic and cynical.
Any how, I do everything wrong.
I guess I shouldn’t feel so assaulted by the world. The sluts will be used up and alone in the end. This comes as little consolation, since I don’t want anyone to be unhappy. And I’m not bitter. I’d just like to be able to think better of people. If I were preachier, I would give one of those “don’t you know what you’re doing to yourself” speeches. But where do I get off?
My faith in people has been trampled on too much lately. I feel exactly like I did when I was in junior high and found out the girl I liked let some ass hole see her boobs behind the gym. It’s just not pleasant. I never felt that tier of disappointment and jealousy angain, till now. It’s strange since I recognized it so readily and specifically. That being the case, I guess it shouldn’t surprise me then how petty it is when summed up. The situation is different, but it's the exact same cold feeling I had way back then. So incredibly distinct. It’s kind of like panic, but with a touch of grief like when you see a dead kitten. And just as ultimately meaningless, but in a life so sparsely populated with emotional entanglement, it feels pretty profound.
It sucks that this is my big problem. The same problem I’ve had since I was 12.
Girls.
Stupid, slutty, vapid, drunken, whory, bitchy, soft, sweet smelling, pretty girls.
I hope they all get fat and have their babies backward.
Any how, I do everything wrong.
I guess I shouldn’t feel so assaulted by the world. The sluts will be used up and alone in the end. This comes as little consolation, since I don’t want anyone to be unhappy. And I’m not bitter. I’d just like to be able to think better of people. If I were preachier, I would give one of those “don’t you know what you’re doing to yourself” speeches. But where do I get off?
My faith in people has been trampled on too much lately. I feel exactly like I did when I was in junior high and found out the girl I liked let some ass hole see her boobs behind the gym. It’s just not pleasant. I never felt that tier of disappointment and jealousy angain, till now. It’s strange since I recognized it so readily and specifically. That being the case, I guess it shouldn’t surprise me then how petty it is when summed up. The situation is different, but it's the exact same cold feeling I had way back then. So incredibly distinct. It’s kind of like panic, but with a touch of grief like when you see a dead kitten. And just as ultimately meaningless, but in a life so sparsely populated with emotional entanglement, it feels pretty profound.
It sucks that this is my big problem. The same problem I’ve had since I was 12.
Girls.
Stupid, slutty, vapid, drunken, whory, bitchy, soft, sweet smelling, pretty girls.
I hope they all get fat and have their babies backward.