ic; ANON CONTINUATIONS

[samsera]

((from here))

Comments

[holysiscon]

I...fulfill my purpose by going home. There was a time--most of the first year I spent here, really--when I couldn't even really think about anything else.

It's a little better now, but I can't forget it.

[samsera]

[matter-of-factly, pulling up a handful of grass of her own to run through her fingers]

Well... of course. A lot of us have something... really important at home, waiting.

[holysiscon]

*half-talking to himself*

...but then there's the people here. Isn't that funny?

[samsera]

[...just listens, since he seems like he wants to say something]

[holysiscon]

And sometimes--sometimes it almost seems like they start becoming more important than going home. It's dangerous.

[samsera]

...is it that you don't think you could bear to leave them?

[holysiscon]

...I'd miss...knowing them.

[samsera]

Have they changed you?

[holysiscon]

*shakes his head! but it is an 'I don't know' shake, not a 'no' shake*

[samsera]

...there's... I think there's a way to do both. But it's lonely, and... hard. I hope I'll be strong enough.

[holysiscon]

I don't understand.

[samsera]

I... well. A lot of the people who've changed me most have left already, you know? I want to take them all with me when I go home. [clenches her hand on her dead grass, not looking at him, making a noticeable effort to keep her voice level] I want to live for my purpose as the person they made me, as hard as I can, and... carve those feelings on my world as strongly as they've etched themselves into my soul. All those memories. The joys and pains... I want to make my existence a place where those things are always there.

...I don't know if I can, but...

[holysiscon]

*digs his fingers into the ground, unable to speak for a minute*

It's...it's possible.

[samsera]

[smiles a little at the ground]

...mm. It hurts to let yourself be changed that much, though. I can't... deny that.

[holysiscon]

There was only one person before...she didn't hurt. But now there's...

It's like being torn apart.

[samsera]

I understand.