life sucks!
so my life is officially over. i should just give up now. There is no purpose anymore, no meaning. I received a letter today from financial aid. They just canceled my loan because they think my parents make to much money. And this is regardless of the tons of letters, phone calls, and emails i sent them begging for aid and explaining that the fafsa EFC is wrong. But no one listened. now i have no financial aid and i will only have 2000 dollars at the end of this summer. that is not enough to continue college nor enough to rent an apartment or get a car, nothing. I'm stuck. my life is now at an impasse. i have no where to go, no where to live, no where to work, nothing to do with my life, all because of one stupid piece of paper. why does this kind of shit always happen to me? why? why me? what the hell did I do? all i do is work and work and push and push and try my best at everything i do and still end up rock bottom. And the worst part is that there is nothing i can do about it. the summer is half way over. all i can do now is sit back and watch my life crumble before my feet and disappear. No one will give me a place to stay either. i can't live here again I'll die. literally. i can't stay with my grandparents. i wont die but there are no jobs up there and they will not allow me to have any sort of life, no friends, no girlfriend, no trips nothing. and gas up there is ridiculous. I have no where to stay in Asheville and I'm afraid that if i leave the PA position they may not give it back to me when i can return to my life. I'm suffocating and i can't remove the plastic. What do i do from here? my confidence has now gone to shit as well as my self esteem. Every time i get where im trying to go, life kicks me in the ass and off the mountain and then it turns to me and says "hahahahaha now you have to climb back up, too bad you have no legs to stand on."
IT IS NOT FAIR!
I'm like one of those grains of sand that slip out of the sides of your hands and through the small slits in between your fingers as you are trying to pick me up and play. I keep slipping through their fingers with each new law, each new special program. "you can only get this if you do this and pass" well i did that. i filled out a fafsa! I DID! the only numbers on that damn thing besides my social are the ones that follow Parent's Income:. that was the only answer i put something besides 0 in. yes still no help. its NOT fair! NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT! the only hope i have left for continuing this semester is if by some miracle someone buys my beautiful car. i wish i did not have to sell it but i cannot afford to keep it and the poor car is getting no love. And it needs some.
Im depressed again, im stressed out, every few minutes i feel like im gonna puke, i dont want to be here, i dont want to do anything. i give up. hard work and trying my best has gotten me no where.
I guess thats it. i could go on like that for hours. but now im done. sorry for the LONG rant everyone.
hope you are all doing tons better than me.
SAM
IT IS NOT FAIR!
I'm like one of those grains of sand that slip out of the sides of your hands and through the small slits in between your fingers as you are trying to pick me up and play. I keep slipping through their fingers with each new law, each new special program. "you can only get this if you do this and pass" well i did that. i filled out a fafsa! I DID! the only numbers on that damn thing besides my social are the ones that follow Parent's Income:. that was the only answer i put something besides 0 in. yes still no help. its NOT fair! NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT! the only hope i have left for continuing this semester is if by some miracle someone buys my beautiful car. i wish i did not have to sell it but i cannot afford to keep it and the poor car is getting no love. And it needs some.
Im depressed again, im stressed out, every few minutes i feel like im gonna puke, i dont want to be here, i dont want to do anything. i give up. hard work and trying my best has gotten me no where.
I guess thats it. i could go on like that for hours. but now im done. sorry for the LONG rant everyone.
hope you are all doing tons better than me.
SAM