Children are our future until they hit puberty
It's unanimous: everyone wants the kids a-reading. If children don't put their noses into books, they'll probably stick them into coke lines and grow up to be Robert Downy, Jr. or an SNL cast member. But it's hard these days. Book prices are skyrocketing. Even the natural beneficence of caring celebrity matrons like Madonna is being sabotaged. The English Roses, her follow-up to the 1992 children's classic Sex, is outrageously priced at $19.95! With prices like these, children cannot afford to make a less than worthwhile purchase. Book clubs are of little help. Oprah is notorious for choosing explicit material, such as shock-jock Toni Morrison's newest sleaze-fest: Another Black Girl Gets Raped By Her Daddy. In this world wracked by moral decrepitude and money-grubbing fat cats,
"It's for the kids"
Our first selection is Trump: The America We Deserve written by Donald Trump, but mostly by some nobody named Shiflett. Rather than give an overly detailed synopsis or explication, I've decided to let the book speak for itself (bracketed text is implied).
"The America we deserve [would be an America lying prone on its back, shirtless, waiting for me to plunk a maraschino cherry into its belly button]."
"The America we deserve [is my street-walker, whoring herself all the way into my bank account]."
"The America we deserve [would have its feet wrapped in concrete and sunk in the Hudson before I let it see the light of day]."
If you'd like more about the book, the back of the book jacket says something.
Only $1.09 at the Dollar Tree just down the street. And it's jampacked full of adjoining words. Like these.
"It's for the kids"
Our first selection is Trump: The America We Deserve written by Donald Trump, but mostly by some nobody named Shiflett. Rather than give an overly detailed synopsis or explication, I've decided to let the book speak for itself (bracketed text is implied).
"The America we deserve [would be an America lying prone on its back, shirtless, waiting for me to plunk a maraschino cherry into its belly button]."
"The America we deserve [is my street-walker, whoring herself all the way into my bank account]."
"The America we deserve [would have its feet wrapped in concrete and sunk in the Hudson before I let it see the light of day]."
If you'd like more about the book, the back of the book jacket says something.
Only $1.09 at the Dollar Tree just down the street. And it's jampacked full of adjoining words. Like these.