Mar 31, 2008 19:25
Yeah, it's just that kind of day...
My boss is sick (again). And since I'm still considered to be "in training", I have basically no authority. I need her to co-sign everything I do. Now, I've got tons of work, and stuff that should have been done already, but she's not at work, so I can't do any of it. 40% of what I do requires co-signing, and the other 60% requires her to give me the paperwork, so while there's piles of stuff to do, there's nothing I can do, which sucks out loud.
Oh, and the techies keep asking me what they should do. I used to get nervous about it, until I talked to my boss about it, about what work I should give them if she's not there to give it to them, and she just said to send them to other staffs, so that's what I did.
And today, it took me 3 hours to get the manager to co-sign my paperwork, only to realize I have no water to work with. So he told me to boil water, and cool it down again, and then start working. So I took one of the techies with me, and we heated the water, cooled it down, did our thing, and everything was ok. Until batch #2, when he forgot to cool down the water (which takes forever), and then when the water finally DID cool down, I noticed it was contaminated, so we tossed it out, and heated some more, which he accidentally poured into a dirty glass, and we had to toss that out, too. Reheating a third time took forever, and cooling it down again took even longer, so he pressured me into doing two batches at once. One of which we ended tossing out cuz he made a mistake, and the other I had to finish by myself, cuz he only works till 4.
*sigh*
I hate these kind of days...
Onto another sore subject - writing...
I really do feel like I've lost it. It's too much work, not enough fun. And I keep feeling my writing is so below average for me. PUWWLO changed paths when I decided to make it... less dark, and with no mentions of Dean/OFC, since when I mentioned the story might have mentions of Sam/OFC, Dean/OFC moments on SPN beta, no one touched the story with a ten foot pole.
And my chapters are so much shorter, too. Like I can't keep myself interested in them long enough, so I just put the cliffy and move on... I dunno. I feel like I lost it.
Also, ya know, I'm a little jealous. I asked a friend from the faNily site to make art for this story (or any other), cuz I think it's awesome to have art for a story. She told me she didn't read it, so I gave her a little synopsys, without any real spoilers, but then she said I might as well give her the spoilers cuz she wasn't going to read it. =(
We fiddled with the art for a while until I realized that it's never going to work if she's not going to read it, so I gave that up. But I really wish I new how to make art for my stories.
I just loved what she did for And the Ground Shook, and I do feel having art for a story makes it more appealing to readers.... *sigh*
I dunno. The feeling of suckiness combined by the knowlage no one in the faNily is even going to bother reading this story... It's just... is it worth it? Is it worth all the time and effort and self-doubt for half a dozen comments (if I'm lucky)?
Cuz let me tell you this, I might tell you that comments don't matter, but hello, it's the only reason I write something I can't take credit for! I mean, And the Ground Shook - I really think it was my masterpiece. I really doubt I can write better than that. Everything just... clicked with that story, even the war didn't really ruin anything but my pace. And now?
I have NOTHING to read, nothing to watch on TV, nothing important to do, and I STILL don't feel like writing...
So, how was your day?
BTW - wouldn't it be just a kick-you-in-the-nuts kind of twist if Bobby had been a demon all along? Hee, I'm evol when I'm sad bored.
rant,
update,
rl