(no subject)
it's really weird lately. ive been really happy cuz life seems to be good. no problems, good friends, not in trouble, on a good level with all/most people, and its just been good. but yet somethign seems so wrong. i dont really know what it is but slowly, little things seem to pop out at me and i notice things. People seem to act different around me. i'm not really sure why, or if i did nethign. it doesnt always even seem like a bad thing, but its just so differnt. also alot of people have been saying some not-so-nice things about me i guess. it doesnt bother me really, bcuz i hear its been like that for a while n i never let it bother me b4, but it still hurts to hear that. i try not to show being affected by people, bcuz thats what their doing it for. the reaction and hurt. but damn.... it worx. on the outside, its like nothing is different and no bothers. but inside i just feel so torn n i know it siounds cheezy, but i just feel like im alone. on the outside looking in. people tnd to not realize, or ever notice, but im very self-concious. i am so bothered about what people think of me. and i hate me for doing it but it happens. i try not to show it to people, but ya, im very volnerable i guess. and to hear some of the things people say about me that are either totally not true, or just way way outta line or incorrect just sux. it sux hard. damn, when life seems to be going good, thatsthe time when you begin to realize how much people suck, n how cruel they can be. you start to be happy and they see it n wanna knock you down. im sick of being knocked down.im so sick of trusting people, and thinking the best , its such bullshit when u see people go n do shit thet they do. obviously there are exeptions bcuz i also know some pretty awesome people, but the numbers dont even compare. sry for a total complaining entry but i feel like crap and need to do something to get out my emotions cuz i dont hav alot of chances to. i still have a paper to write for science, so i better be off. i hope i feel better in the morning. ~Me