jealousy
and you're not even mine. well my emotional roller coaster is coursing through my mind, my heart, my soul. everything i've felt the past two days has been heightened so incredibly much, it's making me feel insane but insanely alive. my fickle heart is at it again, asking too many questions, wandering too far away from me. i'm learning to appreciate every minute all the more because i've lost someone, everyone did this week. a beautiful soul has been set free, i wish i could touch her and give her one last hug, one last perverted joke to see her smile. tomorrow, in a week a year ago we were all sitting around a lunch table laughing hysterically, losing our appetites, faking knowledge of the french language and tomorrow i'm going to be going to my first wake of any sort of significance in my life. this has been a year of firsts. it's time to start living every minute with every good intention i can hold and giving all the love i have within my heart. i live for her, i breathe for her, i feel for her. rest in peace my friend, i know wherever you are you're doing what you do best, showing love and happiness to all.