sodding effing warriors of destiny!!!
Today, in it's infinite lack of thinking things through the government has decided that as of Monday I am not allowed to drive. No I haven't been banned or had my license revoked, nor have I broken any law. No. I have just been recategorized, along with up to 420,000 others like me. You see because our driving test system runs slightly slower than a three legged tree sloth Ireland used to have a special category for people who had held a learner's license for two years, attempted the test at least once which allowed you to drive unaccompanied. Not any more we don't. Now the government has been kicking this admittedly very good idea to axe this system around for a while but has always said that it would not implement it until the waiting time for a test date was 10 weeks. Currently ours is 10 months!!!!!!! and we aren't the worst in the country (although we are the only one whose waiting time is still rising). Meanwhile the applications office has lost two of my applications in the last two years and my current one is crawling its way up the queue and a of Monday midnight I can no longer do any of the routine driving that makes life possible. No more trips to the park in the afternoon with the kids. No more trips to my parents place. No more much of anything! FUCKIT! profanity and obscenity (probably blasphemy too)! Of course the representatives of the Warriors of Destiny are all over the airwaves this morning trying to calm people down by saying 'well the gardai will be nice about it for a couple of months and probably not prosecute anyone they don't feel like and this is Ireland so even though your insurance isn't valid technically it still sort of is and it won't really come in until the new year anyway except that we aren't changing the date at this stage and no the situation is perfectly clear but sure people can just carry on as normal except they have to comply' so what the fuck are people supposed to think?! Now I have a choice:
a) break the law by driving unaccompanied
b) break the law by taking my L plates down
c) try to explain to a four year old and a baby why we have stood at a bus stop for a solid hour waiting for a bus that should run every ten minutes
d) check myself into a home for the bewildered
e) eat another Mars bar
Probably going to be 'e'. Ah well. If my surgery goes wrong on Monday week I won't be able to drive for a month or so anyway.
Meanwhile our illustrious Taoiseach has just graciously accepted a pay increase of 38,000 knicker, making him now one of the top paid big bosses in the world. He gets about a hundred grand more than Gordon Brown now. Ten times the average industrial wage. And he seems to think he deserves it. Well it might take the heat off his friends so they won't have to give him so many 'dig outs' (great gobs of cash to you and me) and luckily now he is no longer defrauding his ex-wife he has a bank account to keep it all in.
Perhaps option f) emigrate is looking better all the time. Could we get to Canada in time for Worldcon I wonder?
a) break the law by driving unaccompanied
b) break the law by taking my L plates down
c) try to explain to a four year old and a baby why we have stood at a bus stop for a solid hour waiting for a bus that should run every ten minutes
d) check myself into a home for the bewildered
e) eat another Mars bar
Probably going to be 'e'. Ah well. If my surgery goes wrong on Monday week I won't be able to drive for a month or so anyway.
Meanwhile our illustrious Taoiseach has just graciously accepted a pay increase of 38,000 knicker, making him now one of the top paid big bosses in the world. He gets about a hundred grand more than Gordon Brown now. Ten times the average industrial wage. And he seems to think he deserves it. Well it might take the heat off his friends so they won't have to give him so many 'dig outs' (great gobs of cash to you and me) and luckily now he is no longer defrauding his ex-wife he has a bank account to keep it all in.
Perhaps option f) emigrate is looking better all the time. Could we get to Canada in time for Worldcon I wonder?