God please no!
As I flick through the tv channels, i stumble across the the wedding of joey and ana, shit i forgot about that. He invited me but i said id prefer to stay at his place and watch it there, i mean i couldnt go to his wedding in boxers could i? so im lying down on his coach, well, its basically mine, i mean it has my ass sweat marks on it, add that to the fact that he, or anyone else has not sat down on it since i moved in 3 years ago.
Everyone is at the wedding, its like in fairy tales, when the beauty and the beast get married, every single person in the town is there. The camera slowly browses over everyone in the wedding.
First we see ryan, hes right there next to joey as he is the best man. Hes watchng joey kiss ana and wished he could get in on the action, not with ana, i mean with some one else. You see, ryan is, at the present, on his longest dry patch on record. its kinda my fault, i didnt mean to, i swear, it just, when he bring home a bitch, he should keep her on a chain. he was about to break his "love drought" when he brought home a girl from a party. he said very swabely, "tara baybe, let me show you my fish tank." he neednt bother using a line, she was way past her alchohol limit. so he brings her up, tells her hes just gna take a quick shower, and lets her enter his room. when ryan walks in the room.....i dont know how to say this, but to make a long story short, i had fallen asleep in his bed, she thought i was him and he hasnt brought a girl home since. (fyi - joey and ryan moved into a condo in libis together)
Damn, im just looking at the suit joeys wearing, he should have ordered a new coat cuz the one hes wearing was the same one he used to the highschool prom like 6 years ago. his uppers are tearing the coat, one button even popped off during the rehersal! people now call joey, batang steriods because he brings this as baon for school. "batste" he is known as in lower batches. (people even make jokes, like "i was talking to batste, he wants to kick your ass," as pranks on friends, scary shit seriously) back to "batste," in a bid not to be outdone by anyone he recently started benching 181 instead of the standard 180. he likes to be called "batste 181." fucked up, i know. good news for his band though, theyve made it pretty big, although the drummer, TO has been acting rather strange since he changed his hair style to a mullet. he seems happy which is bad for the bands image and his performances. cara also has a mullet, dont tease her about it, she'll kick your ass.
Misha is standing next to ana, i miss her. she dumped me after freshman year, i dont know why, she mentioned farting and shouted "hut your cair!" while throwing the painting i made of the two of us for her birthday at me. come to think of it, she might have been talking about my hair which i refused to cut. Shes the president of the La Salle student body right now and tipped to make it big in accounting. im planning of planting drugs on her and getting her caught, haha, take that, no body tells me to quit farting!
Tads and Gerry are next seen in the camera, it makes me think, what if i didnt quit soccer? i mean with gerard out with an injury for the season, tads was made captian and they are going for the UAAP double. i guess i quit when i flunked out of shchool, because.... oh yeah, i missed to many math classes, no hold on, i did alryt in math if i remember. ah, its that other class, yeah the asshole one.....ummmm, ah INTACT! yeah thats right, what a bitch, i forgot to go to some and the school wanted me to take it again. i said no way jose, so they kicked me out. it took me one sem to realize that i was not a student, shit i wish i had started this life earlier, i mean im living the dream. alryt so yeah, every now and then i go to watch the football team play, last match i watched i was asked to "tone down" because my behaviour was not "appropriate" or something like that. i dont see what was not "appropriate" with me relaxing on my fold up chair with my beer in hand and my kid leashed to the chair. i mean, in the game before that i forgot to leash Sam Jr. to the chair and he walked onto the bloody pitch. yeah, i havent mentioned him yet have i. Junior is my child with my girlfriend, shes at joey and ryans place right now doin my laundry. (i have a sneaky feeling tho that ryans tried a move on her once or twise. i told him if her really wanted her, i could lend her to him. he told me i was sick, i told him i was honest.) But dont get me wrong, im not a total bum, i mean every now and then i walk over to Mcdonalds because they are the best people in the world. ronald is wicked, he once gave me a free burger. and sometimes i walk to Enzos Penzos. Enzo owns the store, im its biggest customer, well he gives me free food after i had agreed to put a tatoo of the store on the back of my head. what a dumbass, i mean, no ones ever gna really see it since im stuck on my sofa the whole day. but i think i out smarted him there, i mean i get a free tatoo which ive always wanted and i get free food. the food tastes like shit tho, its only that its free that makes it appealing.
PaoloFrancis are seen in the crowd. really they should dress up for these things. they became pro wreselers and appear on tv a lot. but seriously man, you ought to atleast have the decency to wear pants instead of your black combat underwear to a wedding. That reminds me, what the hell happend to that Esguerra. oh yeah, i heard hemoved to Italy and opened his own fashion line called EsGee. it has pants are supposed to be designed so that no one can fit in them and the shirts make la sallites proud. its funny to see mikko mendoza in the crowd, i dont think hes really listening to the sermon or anything, he goes around from the different benches asking people to pull his finger and ask him whos there when he says "knock knock." no doubt hes gna say letter b, hold on, yeah, right there, i can actually see him singing the joke to drilon and paolo dong puno. haha, gets them everytime! Anton declined his invitation, ever since he won the candy cutie contest his hair has been the center of his attention. he too dropped out of school but has pursued a carear in modeling. he is currently the face of hang ten, with a billboard facing ateneo. its kinda disguting tho, kasi naka bird siya. but if u got it, you might as well show it, thats what he says anyway when asked why he forgot to put on underwear.
You know who i havent seen in a while, jian. i heard he became a communist and is in the jungles fighting a war. yeah, he asked me if i wanted to join, but when he saw me he had forgoten that i had gained about 100 pounds after flunking out.
The benga boys are there, they are all still morning rog's death. he was "breaking it down" in UP when some guy shot him. poor guy, i always told never to "break it down" in front of a black man. tsk tsk tsk. carlos also missing, he moved to the states to play baseball, although it is rumored that he was involved in rogs death and moved for his own safety. cholo is tracking him down as we speak. i tried to persuade vinci and mikko to join me in the happy life, they declined, needless to say, they both look pretty pissed off because they want to get the hell out of there. boogie is the band, hes holding a guitar/base in one hand, has a trumpet in his mouth. he plays the organ with his spare hand and uses his feet to step on the pedals. riggy and foody help out in the band playing the triangle and what looks to be a kahon respectively. Ej can be seen in the crowd, its funny really, ever since ive known him he hasnt changed. im not talking about his hairstyle or anything, i mean hes been like the constant in an equation. while ive gotten fat and joeys gotten married, rog has been shot and samboy has disappeared, ejs....well, hes been ej. i remember thinking that if anyone was ever going to write anything like this it would be him, funny how things turned out.
The girls are there too, the woodies, the p-babes and the ac woman are all crying. its funny to see them crying, its like "joey is kissing ana, waaaaa!" this really cracks me up and i fall of the couch. good thing junior was playing with my empty beer bottles or i would have crushed him if he was near. close call, but damn they are funny all crying.
I flick the channel as Gideon says "and the mass has ended, go in peace to love and serve the Lord." and have a quick thought to myself, if joey is marring ana, does that mean hes moving out and i get his room? then it hits me, haha joeys getting married, what a loser!