good for me
idk y or how, but i always choose guys that i know arent good for me....they have one or more of the elements that i need in a guy, but neva quite have all the ones that i need for a good relationship, or for me to be truely happy at nerate...i find this just quite sad....n the guys i know r amazing for me n would be perfect i dont like....i have to like the assholes, the guys that will make a cry n will make everything harder for me....not that i need a realtionship that is so easy, but i need one that will work.....thats y i cnt date ova half the guys i h/u with....i belive theres a difference between guys i h/u with n a guy i would date....a guy one h/us with can just be a guy for fun, can be a guy u like even, but shouldnt date b/c hes not the right guy...he can be a nice guy n all n it can be fun to have him as a h/u buddy but at the end of the day he isnt the one u can really talk to....thats one of my biggest problems, i need to be able to really talk to a guy, n most guys i can truely talk to r either just my really good guy friends ro guys i dont like in terms of a relationship but know i should consider....another problem is all the guys i think ive ever liked dont make me laugh...i know this prob sounds stupid but like laughter is what really gets me through the day...at the end of the day if i hvnt laughed at all ill either laugh at sutpidity or ill be seriously depressed....laughter i swear is my cure-all, my windex (theres no way i just made a "my big fat greek wedding" reference) haha.....the guys i like r serious to a degree n just dont do it for me....of course the guy hsta be nice.....n smart, b/c with intelligence comes a half decent convo....my mom made an interesting observation the other day...this guy that ive been fam friends with foreva, my mom n his mom always thought we would date b/c we were always friends n liked each other (as ppl, not as in dating material) but then she said to me " u know sammy, i always thought u 2 would date but i see how y u 2 neva did...he just isnt smart enough for you" now dont get me wrong, i prob sound like some stuck-up snob here....hes an awesome kid n actually has a really cute n nice g/f at the mometn...but i guess i just need someone to stimulte me, someone to make me think, just like my fav books do haha....wow i just compared boys to books, go figure....n then she went on to say how i coulda dated a guy like goldfarb...which isnt true, but for other reasons, but the smart part was rite.....it was weird how she said that only like a month ago though wen he hastn been ova my house in forevaaaa n we neva dated in the 1st place....interesting.....wat i personally want from a guy (i want all these other things too but i know theyre better qualities for me than what i actually want) is a guy who can push me a bit....guys who r too submissive piss me off....i need a guy who i dont fight with but who isnt afraid to argue with me.....heated debates, yum....notice how i didnt mention jewish....life would be easier if he was jewish....n god knows i dont think i could eva marry a guy who isnt jewish (yey for brainwashing!) n it just sucks b/c now im limited to guys with snipped dicks haha....wow wtf...wat i really need to though is to realize that these r the qualities i need in a guy n to actually start liking guys like this instead of the guys i know rnt ne good for me....like the last boy i liked, i always knew he wasnt truely good for me i just didnt wanna admit is (who does wen u like the kid?)....i also know of a few guys who totally fit my ideal description but its either "compliated (a word i offically hate in terms of a relationship) or they live to far away...n even if i can find a guy like this, god knows they dont have to like me bak!! man, love is just too complicated.....maybe i should just resort back to fairytales n pretending they actually can come true....maybe i should just listen to love songs n realize how i cnt obtain that desired relationship...for now
~Sammy
~Sammy