stop me now, i ALMOST feel emo
i need someone i can talk to without feeling guilty of taking up their time with my stupid problems lol.....i need to talk to something fully, exlaining everything without having to worry bout who else will find out these facts, and without explaining y im referencing to past experiences n wat happended during those experiences.....i need a real face, a living, breathing being to talk to that can talk back, but just to somehow reassure me that im not an idiot or hard to handle or something, idk.....i should put up an advertisement....i need someone who knows my life as well as i do but can see it from an outside point of view n help me figure out wats going wrong and why....i need sleep and less pms and mostly i think i need to be drunk again where i could cry and hate it, but not be in the right mind to stop it....i dont wanna stop them nemore but my sober self tells me i must....i want life to be simpler though that might mean more boring.....or maybe i just want something real....b/c obvliously im not able to obtain such things.....i really wanna have good comebacks and to be able to redo some scenes of my life, not eliminate them, but be able to handle them better....i wanna be able to make better arguements and have wittier one liners...i really need to stop feeling......without emotions i could think more clearly, but i know i need emtions...most of all i wannna get hurt reallll bad....so bad i fall headfirst to rock bottom, but realize afterwards that it was worth it b/c that meant that something real and seemingly lasting had occurred...something that i wouldnt wanna take back even if i had the chance, even if it hurt real bad afterwards....b/c this lack of nething substantial n still hurting is just gettting, as i so grandly put it last nite "shitty"
~Sammy
~Sammy