being brave is overrated
i dont understand why i have to be the brave one in order to get what i want....how is that fair? im the girl non? im supposed to be the "fair" one....wtf ever happened to "damsel in distress?" fucking put me on a pedistool n worship the ground i walk on....but thats not really wat i want, in fact i'd hate that haha....but sometimes im just sick of having so much responsibility...sometimes i want to fuck up, just slightly, on purpose...just to prove im human...its like pinching myself, to make sure im still here and alive and all....but i dont understand y i have to make the first, last, and every other move in order to me to have progress....y i have to drive my car all the time just b/c i have one....y i have to tell the guy i like them 1st before they fucking do nething bout it (or dont do nething bout it, but acknowledge that something occurred)......is it how i present myself that makes people assume me to be the person who is always assertive and foward? is it how i firt, how i walk, talk, exist? i just dont understand....and y, even when i am assertive, do i feel like i sometimes get let down? and sometimes, when im not assertive enough, i let others down....i dont like to let others down....i dont like being let down.....so i guess its just one or another...i cnt make the 1st move n then not continue.....i cnt be passive n then decide to take matters into my own hands, b/c by then it'll be too late...basically ladies and gents: i suck at life for trying to find a balance that doesnt exist for me
~Sammy
~Sammy